If I'd Known That

The police car pulls up at Saint Kilda.

Everyone gets out.

Gaius is sitting on the sand, shuffling his notes.

Guess what! cries Terence. I made a drawing of all the birds I spotted. 

Did you? says Gaius. Let me see.

He examines the drawing.

What are those? asks Gaius.

You have to guess, says Terence.

Before you do, says Victor, may I have one of your bottles of spring water?

Help yourself, says Gaius.

He wants to wash bird poo off the police car, says Terence.

What a waste of bottled spring water, says Gaius. Victor! 

But Victor has already gone off with the spring water.

I've half a mind to go after him, says Gaius. There'll be a tap in the toilets.

I'll go, says Camus. I need to get into his good books.

I suppose you do, says Gaius. Has he charged you with stealing a police car?

He's going to, says Camus. Unless I can come up with a reason why he shouldn't.

He let you steal it! says Ternce.

That is true, says Gaius. Did you steal his car keys?

No, I did, says Terence.

There you are, says Gaius. Go and confront him. And take this empty spring water bottle.

Camus is encouraged. The crime wasn't his fault. He goes.

Hello Waca! says Terence. I went for a drive in a police car.

Waca is dreaming that he is the only wooden migratory duck left of his species, after the demise of his brother....

What? says Waca.

And I made a drawing, says Terence.

Let's see, says Waca.

Now both Gaius and Waca are looking at Terence's drawing.

Neither of them can work out what the two black fart-shaped spots are.

Two black-winged stilts! says Terence. Roo-kai guessed it.

Roo-kai is remarkable, says Gaius. I would never have guessed it. The only similarity I can see between these black fart-shaped spots and black-winged stilts is that there are two of them.

They're both RUDE! says Terence.

So the black-winged stilts were rude to you, says Gaius. Perhaps if I'd known that....

What are these? asks Waca, pointing to the tinkles.

Let me guess, says Gaius. Hum. Tinkles. You saw an elegant parrot?

Yes! says Terence. Are they the ones that do tinkles?

They are, says Gaius. The tinkle is their alarm cry. Well done, Terence.

Thanks, says Terence. And this is a helpful butterfly.

Gaius and Waca admire the helpful butterfly, and do not remark that it lacks birdlike qualities.