If Anything

We are interested, says Jean-Botanist. What is the job?

Reconnaissance, says Faith.

They are beginners in the field of underwater botany, says Gaius. So far they have identified seagrass.

That's something, says Faith. Could they identify toxic algae?

I think not, says Gaius. Too small.

We can see small things, says Carl-Botanist. 

I'll show you some data, says Faith. We now think the likely culprit is Karenia cristata.

Is that so? says Gaius. 

It is, says Faith. So far it hasn't been seen in these parts.

Are your cytobots looking for it? asks Denis.

We are looking for it, says Faith. The cytobots simply send us pictures.

It sounds like you don't need our botanists, says Gaius.

I suppose not, says Faith.

But that's not the end of it.

The botanists now know what to look for when next they go out in their Nachoos.

I was just having lunch, says Faith. I've got plenty more blueberries back in my tent. Would you like some?

Indeed we would, says Gaius. We only have a few apples. Are you sure you can spare them?

I bought ten punnets, says Faith. They were on special for some reason.

A judicious buy, says Gaius. Shall we come to your tent?

Yes, do, says Faith. 

Gaius and Denis follow Faith to her tent.

Terence is about to follow.

Wait! says Jean-Botanist. What about our symbols?

They left the knife here, says Carl-Botanist. 

You could do the symbols, says Jean-Botanist. We'd like to get going.

Okay, says Terence. 

He picks up the knife.

And a Nachoo.

This one will have a bird symbol, says Terence. Which bird?

A parrot, says Jean-Botanist.

Terence starts scraping.

Scrape scrape scrape.

His parrot looks like, if anything, an oystercatcher.

But Jean-Botanist does not mind.

Now the other one, says Terence. Which fish?

A sardine, says Carl-Botanist.

Too easy, says Terence.

He scrapes a fish shape onto the surface of the second Nachoo.

And a fish face.

Carl-Botanist looks at the fish face.

It looks like that lady, says Carl-Botanist. 

It's meant to, says Terence.

They all start to laugh at the face.

Men Of The Sea

We need to borrow a knife, says Terence.

May I ask what for? asks Mrs Sardine.

A bird and a fish, says Terence.

Your dinner? asks Mrs Sardine.

No, says Terence. We're scratching them onto the Nachoos.

What are Nachoos? asks Mrs Sardine.

Exploring ships, says Terence. 

I see, says Mrs Sardine, although she doesn't.

She goes into her tent and comes back with a knife.

Thank you, says Terence, holding his hand out to take it.

I'm not giving it to you, says Mrs Sardine. I'll come over and give it to one of the grown-ups.

Okay, says Terence.

And I'll have a look at the Nachoos, says Mrs Sardine.

Terence runs ahead of her.

Guess what! says Terence. It's Mrs Sardine.

Faith! says Denis.

From SARDI, says Gaius.

That's who I said, says Terence. She's bringing a knife.

Faith arrives with the knife.

Good afternoon, Faith, says Gaius. What brings you here to Point Lowly?

Cytobots, says Faith. We're sending them into the Upper Spencer Gulf to collect data.

Cytobots? says Gaius.

AI, says Faith. They generate high-res images of suspended particles, and send them back to us in real time.

I wouldn't trust AI, says Gaius. 

They're the latest technology, says Faith. I hear you have need of a knife.

Yes, good old technology, says Denis. I need it to scratch a bird and a fish onto these Nachoos.

Two cans of Red Bull? says Faith. Why, if you don't mind me asking?

In order to distinguish between them, says Gaius.

Faith looks into the Nachoos, and receives a surprise.

Oh! says Faith. There's a baby cuttlefish in each of these Nachoos.

I hope you don't think... begins Gaius.

I DO think, says Faith. It's unlawful to take sepia apama from these waters.

I know, says Gaius, but they'll be going back in as soon as we've made identifying marks on their Nachoos.

The crucial thing, says Denis, is that they've shown an interest in underwater botany. 

Pull the other one, says Faith.

What does that mean? asks Terence.

She thinks we're joking, says Denis.

Understandably, says Gaius. But let them come out of the Nachoos, and she'll see for herself. 

Come out, botomists! says Terence.

The botanists do not come out, having both forgotten that they needed to go in backwards.

Denis pulls them out.

What darlings! says Faith.

I am Jean-Botanist, says Jean-Botanist. And no one's darling.

I am Carl-Botanist, says Carl-Botanist.

As you see, they identify as botanists, says Gaius. We thought it worth delving into.

Botanists! says Faith. What gave them that idea?

Let them speak for themselves, says Gaius.

I wanted to learn mapping, says Jean-Botanist, but botany seemed more rewarding.

Let's admit it, says Carl-Botanist. We wanted the glory.

And underwater botany suits us, says Jean-Botanist. Because were are men of the sea.

Well said, says Faith. SARDI may have a job for you. Would you be interested?

Would they?

Mrs Sardine

They are back at the Point Lowly Campground.

Terence is showing the botanists the new Nachoo.

It looks like the old Nachoo.

How will we know which one's which? asks Jean-Botanist.

They're both which, says Terence. 

Can they have different names? asks Carl-Botanist.

I guess so, says Terence. 

How about Nachoo-one and Nachoo-two? says Denis.

Okay, says Carl-Botanist. I'll have the new one.

Okay, says Jean-Botanist. And I'll have Nachoo-one.

That's mine, says Carl-Botanist. The new one is Nachoo-one.

The new one is Nachoo-two, says Jean-Botanist.

The old one is Nachoo-two, says Carl-Botanist. Because it's older

Good thinking, says Terence. 

Terence is right, says Gaius. But it might be better not to use numbers.

How about a different symbol scratched on the side of each Nachoo? asks Denis. 

A sensible idea, says Gaius. Botanists, choose your symbol.

A seed, says Jean-Botanist.

A different seed, says Carl-Botanist. 

That might be confusing, says Gaius. 

I'll choose, says Terence. A bird and a fish.

Excellent choice, says Gaius. Now who'll do the scratching?

I will, says Denis. Is there a knife?

Gaius looks for a knife in his backpack.

I'm sure I had one, says Gaius. 

Maybe I've got it, says Denis.

He looks in his backpack.

But no.

We'll have to ask a fellow camper if we can borrow one, says Gaius. Terence, go and ask that lady.

Okay, says Terence.

He walks across to the lady who is sitting outside her tent eating blueberries.

Hello! says the lady. I thought it was you.

Mrs Sardine! says Terence.

Faith, says Mrs Sardine.

They Will Be Jealous

Denis wades into the water to pull in the dinghy.

Roo-kai lands on the shore.

Where are they? cries Terence.

Here, says Roo-kai.

Where? asks Terence.

Roo-kai points with his wing.

The two botanists are undulating nearby.

Terence steps into the water.

You made it! says Terence. 

We swam here, says Jean-Botanist.

All the way? asks Terence.

No, says Carl-Botanist. Ageless was supposed to show us how to row the dinghy.

Gaius sploshes into the water.

Where's Ageless? asks Gaius. 

Back at the lighthouse, says Roo-kai. I've just been back to tell Baudin we've found his dinghy.

Well done, says Gaius. 

He turns to the botanists.

And what have we here?

Samples of underwater botany, says Jean-Botanist.

It's seagrass, says Carl-Botanist.

So it is, says Gaius. And what do you know about seagrass?

Don't pick too much, says Carl-Botanist.

A thoughtful answer, says Gaius. I see that you didn't. And it's good that you didn't remove any seeds.

Is it? asks Jean-Botanist.

Seagrasses are fast disappearing, says Gaius.

Woo! says Terence. You guys had better guard those grasses.

Don't worry, says Jean-Botanist. We will.

May I assist you? asks Gaius. You appear to be tangled.

The botanists have become entangled in their seagrass samples.

Come closer, says Gaius. 

He begins to untangle the botanists.

Thank you, says Jean-Botanist. Now we'll go back and collect some new samples.

There's no hurry, says Gaius. Take a break. Would you like to come back to our campsite?

Yes! says Terence. You can go in the Nachoo.

Only one of us, says Carl-Botanist.

No! Guess what? says Terence. You can both have a Nachoo.

Terence has another empty can, says Gaius. 

Great. The botanists can both have a Nachoo.

They start dreaming of future underwater botanising. 

There they go, the other cuttlefish will say to one another.

Jean-Botanist and Carl-Botanist, collecting samples.

In their twin Nachoos.

The other cuttlefish will be jealous.

Bad Botanists

This is what happened:

Roo-kai flew above the  swimming botanists, keeping an eye down.

The swimming botanists swam below him, looking up at Roo-kai.

Roo-kai spots the Point Lowly Campground. 

He indicates to the botanists to swim to the shore.

But the botanists have disappeared.

Crark! thinks Roo-kai. 

Should he turn back or wait for them to resurface?

He circles, while deciding.

An empty dinghy floats by.

Craaark! thinks Roo-kai. I forgot about the dinghy.

I should let Baudin know where it is. 

But he can't lose the botanists.

Fortunately at this point the botanists resurface, their arms full of seagrass..

Where were you? asks Roo-kai.

We stopped because we saw some underwater botany, says Jean-Botanist.

And collected some samples, says Carl-Botanist.

That's seagrass, says Roo-kai. You shouldn't have picked so much of it.

Why? asks Jean-Botanist. 

One strand would do, says Roo-kai.

But it all came up when we pulled it, says Carl-Botanist.

Go back down and replant it, says Roo-kai. Except for one strand.

Each? asks Jean-Botanist.

I suppose so, says Roo-kai. And while you do that, I'll fly back to the lighthouse and let Baudin know about his dinghy.

What about us? asks Carl-Botanist.

Either wait here for me, or swim ashore to the Point Lowly Campground, says Roo-kai. It's just over there.

Okay, say the botanists.

Roo-kai flies back to the lighthouse.

The botanists swim their samples of seagrass down to the sea bed, and start replanting.

Lucky Roo-kai saw us, says Carl-Botanist.

Double lucky, says Jean-Botanist.

Now we know what it's called,  says Carl-Botanist. 

Yes, seagrass, says Jean-Botanist. And we have proper sized samples. Gaius can't call us bad botanists.

They finish replanting.

They swim up to the surface each with one strand of seagrass.

They look for the Point Lowly Campgound, 

The dinghy is floating close to shore. Terence is on the sand, waiting.

He sees the dinghy.

And runs back up the sand.

Moments later Gaius and Denis come down to look at the dinghy.

Roo-kai appears in the sky heading towards them.

The cuttlefish botanists swim shorewards 

Yes

It all makes sense now.

Nothing

Gaius and Denis have set up camp at the Point Lowly campground.

Gaius is writing notes on baby cuttlefish with botanical leanings.

Denis is checking his phone for a message from Henriette.

Terence has nothing to do.

Where ARE they? asks Terence.

Why don't you go down to the water and keep a look out? says Denis.

Okay, says Terence.

He heads down to the sea.

Gaius looks up from his notes.

Where's Terence going?

To see if the botanists are coming, says Denis.

If Ageless borrowed Baudin's dinghy, they should be here soon, says Gaius.

What will we do with them? asks Denis.

Observe them doing underwater botany, says Gaius. 

Will you encourage them? asks Denis. 

To a certain extent, sats Gaius. But I don't want to skew my findings. 

Very wise, says Denis.

Anything from Henriette? asks Gaius.

Yes, says Denis. Nothing. A mysterious answer.

You mean she hasn't answered, says Gaius.

She has, says Denis. And the answer is Nothing.

What did you say in your last missive? asks Gaius.

Let me see, says Denis. I gave her some news, and asked her what she was doing.

Nothing, says Gaius. A brief answer. Perhaps she's had enough of you.

Impossible, says Denis. I have much more to tell her.

Hum, says Gaius.

Terence comes running back to the campsite.

Guess what?

What? asks Gaius. Are they here yet?

No! says Terence. Only a dinghy.

Only a dinghy?

How could it be that the dinghy has arrived before Roo-kai, who was flying, and two cuttlefish, swimming?

Sad Cheerful Resigned

The cuttlefish botanists listen to the singing.

Ti ti lariti ton ton.

Someone is singing, says Jean-Botanist.

Ti ti lariti ton ton.

Maybe we're dying, says Carl-Botanist.

That's not what happens, says Jean-Botanist.

How do you know? asks Carl-Botanist.

It's not that sort of song, says Jean-Botanist. 

Ti ti lariti ton ton. 

Getting closer.

What sort of song would it be if we were? asks Carl-Botanist.

I don't know, but not cheerful, says Jean-Botanist.

Sad? asks Carl-Botanist. 

Not sad, says Jean Botanist. Maybe resigned.

Depends who's singing, says Carl-Botanist.

I suppose so, says Jean-Botanist.

Plonk!

This is a surprise! says Roo-kai.

He has landed on the stern of the dinghy.

The botanists open their eyes.

I was expecting Captain Baudin, says Roo-kai. This is his dinghy.

We know, says Jean-Botanist. Ageless was supposed to be rowing us to the campground.

So where is he? asks Roo-kai.

He stayed behind, says Carl-Botanist. 

Relaxing? asks Roo-kai.

He forgot our croissant packet, says Jean-Botanist.

Which is why we've dried out, says Carl-Botanist.

You haven't, says Roo-kai. Looks like I got here in time.

Was that you singing? asks Jean-Botanist.

Yes it was, says Roo-kai. It's an old French sailors' song. I thought Baudin would know it.

We thought we were dying and someone was singing it, says Carl-Botanist.

That's not what they'd sing if you were, says Roo-kai.

What would they sing? asks Jean-Botanist.

Heave ho and over the side, says Roo-kai. In French, though.

So now what? asks Carl-Botanist. We've got oars, but we can't use them.

Nor can I, says Roo-kai. But you're floating in the right direction.

Stay with us, says Jean-Botanist.

That's one option, says Roo-kai. Or I could fly back to Gaius and tell him you're coming. He could borrow a dinghy and come out to meet you.

Is there an option of us swimming there by ourselves? asks Jean-Botanist.

Roo-kai thinks about this. Yes, it's a good option.

He helps them over the side.

Follow me, says Roo-kai. 

He flies off in the direction of the Point Lowly campground.

They follow, swimming.

It feels good to be swimming.

They sing cheerfully:

Ti ti lariti ton ton.

A Sea God

 Jean-Botanist and Carl-Botanist are now adrift on the sea.

What do we do? asks Carl-Botanist.

Prove ourselves, says Jean-Botanist.

Yes, says Carl-Botanist. But Ageless was going to instruct us.

He didn't get into the dinghy, says Jean-Botanist.

I don't think he's much of a sailor, says Carl-Botanist.

Too busy relaxing, says Jean-Botanist.

So it's just you and me,says Carl-Botanist.

And the oars, says Jean-Botanist.

They look at the oars.

The oars are a good size for an adult lobster, but not a good size for baby cuttlefish.

We could just swim for it, says Carl-Botanist.

We can't leave the vessel, says Jean-Botanist.

We're not the captain, says Carl-Botanist.

True, says Jean-Botanist. But how do we get ourselves over the sides?

Yikes! They can't do it.

They are in the bottom of the dinghy where Ageless dropped them.

We could climb onto the centreboard, says Carl-Botanist.

How? asks Jean-Botanist.

You climb up on my back, then pull yourself onto it, says Carl-Botanist.

What about you? asks Jean-Botanist.

You pull me up, says Carl-Botanist.

Yes! They already feel like proper sailors.

They do the manoeuvre.

Now they are both on the centreboard, but they still can't see over the side.

They look up at the sky.

The sky doesn't help them.

We might die here, says Jean-Botanist.

So much for glory, says Carl-Botanist.

What we need is an Oriental Neptune, says Jean-Botanist.

If we knew what it was, says Carl-Botanist.

I think it might be a compass, says Jean-Botanist.

Or a sea god, says Carl-Botanist.

 Either would do, says Jean-Botanist.

What nonsense! Are the botanists becoming delirious?

Have they begun to dry out?

And now they are hearing things. 

Someone is singing. 

Titi Lariti Ton Ton....

First Lesson Of The Sea

Do we have to go back in the croissant packet? asks Jean-Botanist.

Up to you, says Ageless. 

Take it with you, in the dinghy, says Captain Baudin. Only use it if needed.

They go round to the back of the lighthouse.

Captain Baudin shows Ageless the dinghy.

Ageless looks at the oars.

He imagines himself rowing down the coast to the Point Lowly campground.

His joints clicking.

Why don't you come with us? says Ageless.

Things to do, says Captain Baudin.

You could row yourself back in the dinghy, says Ageless. 

You'll have to do that, says Captain Baudin.

It's a while since I did any rowing, says Ageless.

You've got these boys to help you, says Captain Baudin.

Us? says Carl-Botanist. Can we row?

Time to prove yourselves! says Captain Baudin. 

Yes, says Ageless. One oar each. I'll instruct you.

The botanists look apprehensive.

Captain Baudin drags his dinghy to a nearby patch of sand.

Hop in, cuttlies, says Captain Baudin. 

We can't, say the botanists.

Ageless lifts them in.

Help me push it into the water, says Captain Baudin.

When do I get in? asks Ageless.

When I tell you, says Captain Baudin.

Ageless and Baudin push the dinghy into the water,

Now, says Captain Baudin.

Ageless adjusts his sunglasses.

He's about to climb in.

Wait! says Ageless. We forgot the croissant packet.

Too late now, says Captain Baudin.

Indeed it is too late now. 

The dinghy has floated away.

First lesson of the sea, says Captain Baudin.

And the last, says Ageless.

It seems like the right thing to say.

Oriental Neptune

 I should have kept those silver spoons, says Captain Baudin. And the twelve tea cups.

You weren't to know you'd turn into a lobster, says Ageless.

True, says Captain Baudin. My brother got my silver marine watch as well.

Anything else? asks Ageless. 

Let me think, says Captain Baudin. Yes, my night telescope. 

I suppose you've had to buy a new one, says Ageless.

I have, says Captain Baudin. It's here somewhere. 

When are we going? asks Jean-Botanist.

Soon, says Ageless. No hurry.

Captain Baudin is remembering other items he bequeathed to his brother.

My Oriental Neptune, says Captain Baudin. He got that as well.

Oriental Neptune? asks Ageless.

Yes, you know, says Captain Baudin. 

Ageless doesn't know. But it seems he's supposed to.

And my gold watch, says Captain Baudin.

So he got two watches, says Ageless. One silver, one gold.  Lucky devil.

No wait. It was the lady who got the spoons and the teacups. She got the gold watch, says Baudin.

I see, says Ageless. And who was this fortunate lady?

Citizen Ronsin, says Captain Baudin. 

Hear that boys? says Ageless. Captain Baudin had a gold watch to get rid of. How's that for glory?

The botanists perk up at this new mention of glory. 

A gold watch? That does sound like glory.

Where did you get it? asks Carl-Botanist.

Napoleon, says Captain Baudin. 

Jean-Botanist and Carl-Botanist wonder who Napoleon is and if he's still living.

They are about to ask when Ageless says: We'd better be going. 

And Captain Baudin says: I'll show you the dinghy.

And the moment is lost.

Deceased At The Time

Try it, says Captain Baudin.

How? ask the botanists.

You'll need to give them a spoon, says Ageless.

Captain Baudin goes off to look for a spoon.

He comes back with a silver one.

Nice spoon, says Ageless.

I had a whole set, says Captain Baudin. Twelve spoons, twelve cups and saucers. But I bequeathed them, along with my other possessions.

Who to? asks Ageless. 

A lady, says Captain Baudin.

Did she not want that spoon? asks Ageless. 

I really don't remember, says Captain Baudin. I was deceased at the time.

It was a long time ago, says Ageless.

Captain Baudin dips the spoon into the jar of Nutella, and offers a taste to Jean-Botanist.

Jean-Botanist sucks at the spoon.

Euw! says Jean-Botanist.

Don't like it? asks Captain Baudin.

No, says Jean-Botanist. 

You? asks Captain Baudin, offering the spoon to Carl-Botanist.

No thanks, says Carl-Botanist.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained, says Captain Baudin.

Good advice, says Ageless. Tell them about your adventures.

And the glory, says Carl-Botanist. 

I was explaining to them about glory, says Ageless. But they seemed to picture it as some sort of jellyfish. So I thought they should ask you.

Ha ha! laughs Captain Baudin, taking a lick of Nutella. Jellyfish!

I know, says Ageless.

Well, says Baudin, I went on many expeditions, and made new discoveries. Some were even named in my honour. 

A Baudin pig, wasn't there? says Ageless. On Kangaroo Island?

Not any more, says Baudin. But there is Baudin's black cockatoo, Baudin's emo skink, and a common Mexican tree frog.

So that's glory? says Carl-Botanist. Something gets given your name.

Except for the tree frog, says Ageless.

Even the tree frog. Smilisca baudinii, says Baudin. 

So if we discover a new species it gets our name, says Jean-Botanist.

Not necessarily, says Captain Baudin. Now that I'm a lobster, I very much doubt if I discovered a new species it would be given my name.

Probably true, says Ageless. The general population would assume it was a new sort of lobster.

Exactly, says Captain Baudin.

The cuttlefish botanists look gloomily at one another.

Future glory eludes them.

Jellyfish Of Glory

Ageless scrapes his way along the road.

It's slow going, with a croissant packet held aloft in his dominant claw.

The croissant packet swings back and forth slowly.

Inside, the two botanists are talking.

It must be a good thing, says Jean-Botanist.

That goes without saying, says Carl-Botanist.

And you get it if you discover something new, says Jean-Botanist.

But who gives it to you? asks Carl-Botanist.

Maybe Gaius, says Jean-Botanist.

He doesn't have much, says Carl-Botanist. Just a backpack.

And a bike, says Jean-Botanist.

We can't use a bike, says Carl-Botanist.

Maybe it's insubstantial, says Jean-Botanist.

Like what? asks Carl-Botanist.

Like a jellyfish, says Jean-Botanist.

Ageless can stand it no more.

A jellyfish is not insubstantial! says Ageless.

Perhaps that was a bad example, says Jean-Botanist.

I assume you were talking about glory, says Ageless.

Yes, says Carl-Botanist. 

Imagine you'd discovered a new species of plant, says Ageless.

We were, says Carl-Botanist.

No one would present you with a jellyfish, says Ageless.

What then?, asks Jean-Botanist.

You'll learn more shortly, says Ageless. 

They have arrived at the lighthouse.

Ageless knocks on the door.

Captain Baudin opens it, with a knife in his claw.

Welcome back, says Captain Baudin. Where are the others?

Gone to the campground, says Ageless. Do you have a dinghy?

Of course I have a dinghy, says Captain Baudin. Want to borrow it? Why not have some lunch first?

He indicates a jar of Nutella on a low table.

No thanks, says Ageless. But these botanists might like to try some.

Certainly, says Captain Baudin. Let them out of the packet.

Ageless does so.

They're interested in underwater botany, says Ageless. 

Very commendable, says Captain Baudin. Imagine the glory, should they make a discovery.

You'd know all about that, says Ageless.

Glory? Baudin knows about that? 

The botanists look forward to picking Baudin's brains about glory. 

As well as a taste of Nutella.

The Nature Of Glory

 Ageless climbs up the rocks to the track.

Where are they? asks Ageless.

Here, says Terence, holding up the croissant packet.

They don't look too well, says Ageless.

They've been spinning, says Terence.

Deliberately? asks Ageless. 

No, says Terence.

I thought not, says Ageless. Give them here.

Terence hands Ageless the croissant packet with the cuttlefish botanists inside.

Ageless keeps the packet shut with his dominant claw.

He peers into the packet.

The botanists stop making their horrible faces.

Did you like my idea? asks Ageless.

What is it? asks Jean-Botanist.

You switch to underwater botany, says Ageless.

First we've heard of it, says Jean-Botanist.

It is even a thing? asks Carl-Botanist.

Of course it's a thing, says Ageless. 

How is it done? asks Carl-Botanist.

You collect specimens underwater, says Ageless. It's your natural element. It means no more fast botany.

We liked fast botany, says Carl-Botanist.

But you relied on an emu to help you, says Ageless. This way you'd get all the glory.

What is glory? asks Carl-Botanist.

Glory is what you get when you make a new discovery, says Ageless. 

Yes but what is it? asks Carl-Botanist. 

When you achieve it, you'll see, says Ageless.

This is not really an answer, but Gaius has now pumped his tyre up.

It's time to get going.

Ah, Ageless, says Gaius. I'll take the croissant packet. Unless you'd like to hang onto it. I see you're an expert at keeping it shut.

He could swim with it down to the campground, says Denis.

Hold your horses! says Ageless. I'm not doing that.

All right, give it to me then, says Gaius.

No no, says Ageless. I'll get them there, but I'll do it my way.

Excellent, says Gaius. We'll see you at the campground.

Bye, says Terence.

Gaius lifts Terence into his backpack. 

He and Denis set off on their bikes, down the track.

Ageless sets off in the opposite direction.

If Jean-Botanist and Carl-Botanist were not busy speculating on the nature of glory, they might wonder where they are going.

Horrible Faces

It might be easier if they both went in the packet, says Gaius. 

But... begins Carl-Botanist.

Good idea, says Jean-Botanist.

Okay, says Terence. Is it ready?

Yes, says Gaius. I've filled it with sea water. 

Terence helps Jean-Botanist and Carl-Botanist into the croissant packet.

Are you going to close it? asks Terence.

Of course, says Gaius. I'll twist the top of the packet several times.

What happens when you let go? asks Terence.

I won't let go until we reach the campground, says Gaius. Then we'll see.

Ready? asks Denis. 

Ready, says Gaius.

What about Ageless? asks Terence.

Ask him, says Gaius.

Terence goes over to Ageless who is relaxing in the sun.

Are you coming to the campground? asks Terence.

Why would I? asks Ageless.

We're all going, says Terence. 

To do what? asks Ageless.

More science, says Terence. More botomy. And have lunch.

It's botany, says Ageless. Are those botanists going?

Yes, says Terence. 

They should be re-thinking their field, says Ageless.

What does that mean? asks Terence.

They should think about doing underwater botany, says Ageless.

Yes! says Terence.

I bet they aren't, says Ageless.

You should tell them, says Terence.

Okay, says Ageless. Anything to be helpful.

He adjusts his sunnies.

Lobster Guy is ready.

Terence climbs up the rocks to the trail where Gaius and Denis are checking the tyres on their bikes.

Is he coming? asks Gaius.

Yes, says Terence. He's got an idea for the botomists.

Botanists, says Denis. What is it?

Underwater botomy, says Terence.

Denis is delighted with the term.

Hear that? says Denis.

I heard that, says Gaius. Hold this for a minute, Terence.

He hands Terence the croissant packet with the two botanists inside.

He proceeds to pump up his back tyre.

Terence holds the croissant packet up at eye level.

He is going to tell Jean-Botanist and Carl-Botanist about their new field.

Guess what? asks Terence.

They look at him through the see-though packet. 

The packet starts spinning.

Slowly at first, then faster.

Gaius's twists are unfurling.

It stops at last.

Now there are no secure twists at the top.

Terence twirls the croissant bag in the opposite direction.

Many times.

But again it starts to unwind before he can stop it.

The cuttlefish botanists don't like it.

They make horrible faces at Terence.

Terence notices the horrible faces.

That's not it, says Terence.

How Do We Win?

You say ONE TWO THREE and then make a rock or paper or scissors. If yours can destroy the other person's, you're the winner, says Terence.

How do we make rocks, papers and scissors? asks Jean-Botanist.

Like this, says Terence, showing them with his fingers.

And how do we win? asks Carl-Botanist.

No one knows, says Terence. Are you ready?

The botanists are ready.

ONE TWO THREE... do it! says Terence.

Jean-Botanist and Carl-Botanist both make paper.

Or so it would seem.

You both made paper, says Terence.

 I was making scissors, says Carl-Botanist.

Then you win, says Terence.

How was that scissors? asks Jean-Botanist. 

Eight arms, four pairs of scissors, says Carl-Botanist.

Or one sheet of paper, says Jean-Botanist. Maybe I was making four pairs of scissors.

Then no one wins, says Terence. Were you making four pairs of scissors?

Yes, says Jean-Botanist.

He's cheating, says Carl-Botanist.

So are you, says Jean-Botanist.

Okay, says Terence. We won't do Rock Paper Scissors. I'll just decide.

Go on then, says Jean-Botanist. Don't forget it's my Nachoo.

You're only the captain, says Terence. It's my Nachoo.

I'm also the captain, says Carl-Botanist.

No you're the botomist, says Terence.

Carl-Botanist shuts up. There is no point in arguing with Terence.

Gaius returns with the Nachoo and the croissant packet. The one without holes.

Who's going in what? asks Gaius.

Carl-Botanist in the Nachoo, says Terence.

Jean-Botanist looks mad.

Rock Paper Scissors

What does venerable mean? asks Carl-Botanist.

Deserving of great respect, replies Gaius.

I knew that, says Jean-Botanist.

Bet you didn't, says Carl-Botanist.

Did, says Jean-Botanist.

Regardless, says Gaius. You are both named after well-respected botanists. 

I am, says Jean-Botanist. I'm named after Captain Baudin's botanist, Jean Baptiste Louis-Something Something Something de la Tour.

Well remembered! says Gaius.

Who am I named after? asks Carl-Botanist.

You'll have to ask Ageless, says Gaius. But I assume it's Carl Linnaeus, the father of modern taxonomy.

Oh, says Carl-Botanist, disappointed.

Don't look disappointed, says Gaius. Taxonomy is the orderly naming of things, plants included.

Carl-Botanist tries to look happier, while remaining unsure of the reason.

Now, says Gaius, we're planning to leave this location and I'm inviting both of you to come with us.

Where are you going? asks Jean-Botanist.

Back to the Point Lowly campground, says Gaius. 

What is a campground? asks Carl-Botanist.

A ground where you camp, says Gaius. 

Did Carl Linnaeus name it? asks Carl-Botanist.

Jean-Botanist snorts.

I doubt it, says Gaius. But it's close by the sea, and we will of course bring the Nachoo.

We can't both fit in it, says Jean-Botanist.

One of you can go in it, says Gaius, and the other can travel in the croissant packet, filled with sea water. 

Which one? asks Carl-Botanist.

The one without holes, says Gaius. 

I mean which one goes in the Nachoo? asks Carl-Botanist. 

You can toss for it, says Gaius. 

Okay, agree the two botanists, who are both feeling lucky.

Good, that's settled, says Gaius. Stay here, while I organise your transportation.

He gets up and steps off the half-submerged rock onto a higher one, and so forth...

Did we make the right decision? asks Carl-Botanist.

We made the adventurous decision, says Jean-Botanist. 

Yes, says Carl-Botanist. How do we toss for a place in the Nachoo?

Let's ask Terence, says Jean-Botanist.

They shout Terence's name, to attract his attention.

What? asks Terence. 

They explain the situation.

Easy, says Terence. Do Rock Paper Scissors.

It does not occur to him that having eight arms makes Rock Paper Scissors difficult for cuttlefish to do.

A Venerable Name

Welcome back, says Jean-Botanist. Did you like your ride in my Nachoo?

Is it only your Nachoo? asks Carl-Botanist.

It was made for me, says Jean-Botanist. 

It could use some improvements, says Carl-Botanist.

Like what? asks Jean-Botanist.

Like a storage area, for seeds, says Carl-Botanist.

Anything else? asks Jean-Botanist.

An anchor, says Carl-Botanist. 

Did it keep floating away? asks Jean-Botanist.

No, says Carl-Botanist. But it might have, without Ageless.

It couldn't go anywhere without Ageless, says Jean-Botanist.

A sail! says Carl-Botanist. Or an engine. Then I could go where I like.

You mean I could, says Jean-Botanist.

I mean we could, says Carl-Botanist. After all, we are brothers.

The cuttlefish babies are getting on well, says Gaius. 

They're fighting, says Terence.

What about? asks Gaius.

Improvements, says Terence. And whose Nachoo it is. And whether they're brothers.

Weighty issues, says Gaius. 

You should speak to them, says Denis.

I shall, says Gaius. 

He moves to a rock near the half submerged rock on which Jean-Botanist and Carl-Botanist are sitting.

Any questions? asks Gaius.

Yes, says Jean-Botanist. Could we two be brothers?

Not impossible, says Gaius. You were collected by Captain Baudin, in the same area. 

That doesn't prove anything, says Jean-Botanist.

Furthermore, says Gaius, you have both shown an interest in botany.

He only did because I did, says Jean-Botanist.

HE wanted to do mapping, says Carl-Botanist.

So did YOU! says Jean-Botanist.

I think we can conclude from this that you are brothers, says Gaius.

Jean-Botanist glares at Carl-Botanist, who glares back at his brother.

I hear you brought back some acacia seeds, says Gaius. Well done. Where are they?

Ageless has them, says Carl-Botanist. 

And that you are now called Carl-Botanist, says Gaius.

Ageless gave me the name, says Carl-Botanist.

A venerable name, says Gaius. 

As venerable as mine? asks Jean-Botanist.

Even more so, says Gaius. I mean... no...just the same.

The Know-It-All Brother

Any luck? asks Ageless.

Yes, says Carl-Botanist. I got these.

He shows Ageless the seeds that the emu spat at him.

Can you take them? he asks Ageless.

All right, says Ageless. What are they?

Acacia, says Carl-Botanist.

Have you caught a cold? asks Ageless.

No, says Carl-Botanist. The seeds are acacia.

You're a good botanist, says Ageless. 

Not that good, says Carl-Botanist. The emu told me.

All the better, says Ageless. You made use of local knowledge. 

Ageless pokes the acacia seeds into the Nachoo.

Carl-Botanist makes his way in. 

Ageless starts towing the Nachoo back to the others.

When they get there the other baby cuttlefish crowd round the Nachoo.

Me next! cry the others.

You can't all be next, says Ageless. In any case, I might call it a day.

Boo! Boo! cry the baby cuttlefish.

Carl-Botanist comes out of the Nachoo.

Did you do fast botany? asks one of the others.

Yes, says Carl-Botanist. I got three acacia seeds from an emu.

Is an emu a bush or a tree? asks the other.

A bush, says Carl-Botanist. But not really. What happens is, you talk to the bush and while you're talking it turns into an emu.

Aha, says the other. That explains the anomaly.

What anomaly? asks Carl-Botanist.

Why an emu bush has acacia seeds, not emu seeds, says the other.

The other baby cuttlefish have been listening too.

At least they are learning some botany.

Ageless has dragged the Nachoo onto a half-submerged rock.

What happened? asks Terence. Where's the baby cuttlefish?

Carl-Botanist pulls himself out of the water and flops on the rock.

Here I am, says Carl-Botanist. Phew! That was awesome!

He collected three seeds, says Ageless. And he already knows what they are. I call him Carl-Botanist.

That's me, says Carl-Botanist.

Jean-Botanist and Carl-Botanist, says Terence. They should be brothers.

They are brothers, says Ageless. 

Jean-Botanist is nearby.

He has been awaiting the return of the Nachoo. 

He makes his way onto the half-submerged rock.

Who is this know-it-all brother?

Brothers are Usually Emus

Ageless tows the Nachoo past several rocks.

He stops towing.

Carl-Botanist emerges from the Nachoo.

Now what? asks Carl-Botanist.

Go ashore and do some fast botany, says Ageless. I'll wait here.

Carl-Botanist hesitates.

Why do you hesitate? asks Ageless.

You could help me, says Carl-Botanist.

No. I need to relax after all that towing, says Ageless. 

Okay, says Carl-Botanist.

If Jean-Botanist could do fast botany on his own, so can Carl-Botanist.

He swims to the shore and makes his way over the sand to a bush.

Now what? wonders Carl-Botanist.

You again! says the bush. Did you show someone the seeds?

I'm not Jean-Botanist. I'm Carl Botanist, says Carl-Botanist.

Do you know Jean-Botanist? asks the bush.

Yes, says Carl-Botanist.

Are you brothers? asks the bush.

What are brothers? asks Carl-Botanist.

Usually emus, says the bush. But I suppose botanists can have brothers.

Can seeds have brothers? asks Carl-Botanist.

That's an intelligent question, to which I don't know the answer, says the bush

I thought a bush would know the answer, says Carl-Botanist.

A bush might, says the bush. But I'm an emu.

The emu pokes his head though the bush.

Yikes! says Carl-Botanist. I've wasted my time on an emu.

Not necessarily, says the emu. I helped Jean-Botanist. I could help you.

How? asks Carl-Botanist.

He wanted seeds, says the emu. Do you want some?

Not the same ones as him, says Carl-Botanist.

He wanted saltbush seeds, says the emu. This is an acacia.

What is? asks Carl-Botanist.

This bush is, says the emu. 

Carl-Botanist can hear Ageless shouting.

Time's up! 

Give me three, please, says Carl-Botanist. 

The emu spits three seeds at him.

Carl-Botanist rolls them down the sand to the Nachoo.

As he rolls he tries to remember the name of the bush the seeds came from.

Acacia!  

Easy to remember.

It sounds like a sneeze. 

Lobster Guy Does It For Science

The unhappy baby cuttlefish rise to the surface.

Look! says Terence. They came up to the top!

Perhaps they want something, says Gaius.

Another turn in the Nachoo, says Jean-Botanist. I don't mind if they do.

The baby cuttlefish hear him, because they are close to the surface.

That's not what we want, says one of them.

What then? asks Jean-Botanist. 

What you had, says the spokes-baby cuttlefish. A tow round the rocks to do some fast-botany.

Ask Captain Baudin, says Jean-Botanist.

Where is he? asks the spokes-baby.

But Captain Baudin is making his way back to the lighthouse because it is lunchtime.

He's not here, says Jean-Botanist.

What's the problem? asks Gaius.

They want a tow round the rocks, says Jean-Botanist. 

We can't help them there, says Gaius. Far too dangerous.

Ageless could do it, says Denis.

What could I do? asks Ageless.

Tow the babies round the rocks in the Nachoo, says Denis.

They want to do botomy, says Terence.

Botany, says Denis.

Fast-botany says Jean-Botanist.

How about it? asks Gaius. 

Why should I indulge the whims of these babies? asks Ageless.

In the interests of science, says Gaius. Imagine! They are probably the first of their species to show an interest in botany.

If you put it that way, says Ageless, I suppose I should do it. 

Wonderful, says Gaius. Let us know how it goes.

Ageless drops into the water, still wearing his sunnies.

Luckily they still have the strap so they do not fall off.

Lobster Guy at your service, says Ageless. Who's first for a tow?

I am! says the one who went first last time.

What's your name? asks Ageless.

Jean-Botanist, says the one who went first last time.

No it isn't, says Ageless. That name's taken. Pick another.

I don't know another, says the one who went first last time.

I could give you one, says Ageless.

Okay, says the one who went first last time. Make it a good one.

It's a good one, says Ageless. It's Carl.

Carl-Botanist, says the one who is now called Carl-Botanist.

The other baby cuttlefish are envious.

Carl-Botanist. What a good name!

Carl-Botanist backs into the Nachoo.

Lobster Guy tows him away.

Me! Me! Me!

The other baby cuttlefish crowd round the Nachoo.

I'm back, says Jean-Botanist.

We know, say the others. We heard everything. You didn't learn mapping.

It wasn't my fault, says Jean-Botanist. Captain Baudin doesn't know mapping.

So you learned botany, says one of the other baby cuttlefish.

Yes, says Jean-Botanist. I collected three seeds.

And that's botany? asks another baby cuttlefish.

Half of botany, says Jean-Botanist.

What's the other half? asks another baby cuttlefish.

Identification, says Jean-Botanist. I show them to Gaius. He knows what the seeds are.

So what's the point? asks another baby cuttlefish.

Jean-Botanist doesn't know what the point is.

He changes the subject.

Who'd like a go in the Nachoo? asks Jean-Botanist.

Me! Me! Me! say nearly all of the baby cuttlefish.

Get in a line then, says Jean-Botanist. 

Look at that! says Denis. The baby cuttlefish have lined up in the water.

So they have, says Gaius. Odd behaviour.

They want turns in the Nachoo, says Terence.

Of course! says Gaius. We should have realised.

A baby cuttlefish has backed into the Nachoo.

Now what?

Jean-Botanist is making signals to Terence.

Terence leans forward.

Jom-Botomist wants to get out of the water, says Terence.

I'll lift him out, says Gaius.

He lifts Jean-Botanist out of the water.

What's happening down there? asks Gaius.

They're having turns in the Nachoo, says Jean-Botanist. 

The one who backed in has come out again.

He doesn't look happy.

The next one goes in.

Comes out again.

Doesn't look happy.

Soon all the baby cuttlefish have gone in and come out again. 

Not one of them looks happy.

Fast Botany

Here they come! shouts Terence.

They couldn't have done much mapping, says Gaius.

They were only doing theory of mapping, says Denis.

If anything, says Ageless.

Captain Baudin tows the Nachoo right up to the rocks on which Gaius and Denis are sitting.

Terence is kneeling, leaning forward.

The baby cuttlefish looks up at him, from the Nachoo.

Did you learn proper mapping? asks Terence.

No, says the baby cuttlefish. I learned something better.

He's learning botany, says Captain Baudin.

You don't know botany, says Ageless.

He showed an interest, says Captain Baudin. He went ashore and collected some specimens.

Where are they? asks Terence.

The baby cuttlefish eases out of the Nachoo, and re-enters head first.

Feels around in the dark for his seeds.

Comes out backwards. with the seeds attached to his suckers.

Terence reaches down to take them.

Stop! says Gaius. I'll do it.

He reaches down to take them.

Saltbush seeds, says Gaius. Eremophila glabra.

I know, says the baby cuttlefish.

How come you know? asks Terence.

The bush told me, says the baby cuttlefish. It asked me if I was a caterpillar.

What did you say? asks Terence.

No, says the the baby cuttlefish. I said I was a botanist. 

Bushes don't talk, says Terence.

And they don't eat caterpillars says Denis.

Maybe it thought the caterpillar would eat it, says Ageless.

It was an emu, says Captain Baudin. I saw it.

I was going to say that, says the baby cuttlefish. Except I didn't know what to call it.

So you can't be a botanist, says Ageless.

A botanist does not need to be able to identify an emu, says Gaius. Although of course it does help.

It gave me a new name, says the baby cuttlefish. Jean-Botanist

Woo! says Terence. That's a really cool name.

Jean-Botanist is pleased Terence likes it.

Are you going to continue doing botany? asks Gaius.

Yes, says Jean-Botanist. I'm doing fast botany.

Fast botany? says Gaius. What does that mean?

He has to get out of the Nachoo to do it, says Captain Baudin. 

Of course! says Gaius. Land is not his natural element.

To be honest, says Denis, it's ridiculous for a cuttlefish to want to do botany.

No, says Gaius. We mght regard this as a possible evolutionary breakthrough.

I suppose so, says Denis.

The Cracklebush Spits

This looks like a good spot, says Captain Baudin. I'll leave you to it.

For three days? asks the baby cuttlefish.

Of course not, says Captain Baudin. You are just a beginner.

Captain Baudin pulls the Nachoo onto a sandy embankment, edged by rocks and bushes.

The water drains out of the Nachoo.

The baby cuttlefish crawls out.

You probably haven't got long, says Captain Baudin.

That's okay, says the baby cuttlefish. Wait here while I do some collecting.

All right, says Captain Baudin. And when you're done collecting we'll take the specimens back to Gaius, for identification.

Yes captain, says the baby cuttlefish.

Captain Baudin settles down to wait at the water's edge, beside the beached Nachoo.

The baby cuttlefish drags himself along the sand to the shade of a bush.

The bush makes a crackling sound.

This must be a cracklebush, says the baby cuttlefish.

And who are you to decide that? asks the cracklebush.

Oo-er! The baby cuttlefish tries to remember his botanist name.

Jean-Batiste, says the baby cuttlefish, the first cool name he remembers.

Are you a caterpillar? ask the cracklebush.

No I'm a botanist, says the baby cuttlefish.

Jean-Botanist! cackles the cracklebush.

A beak pokes out of the cracklebush, attached to the face of an emu.

You look like a caterpillar, says the emu in the same voice as the cracklebush.

Jean-Botanist realises his mistake.

It had not been the cracklebush speaking.

I eat caterpillars, says the emu, but saltbush seeds are my favourite, so you're lucky.

I am lucky, say Jean-Botanist. Now I know the name of this bush.

My compliments, says the emu. 

I'm here collecting specimens, says Jean-Botanist.

Of what? asks the emu.

Saltbush seeds, says Jean-Botanist.

You don't look like you've collected any, says the emu.

Not yet, says Jean-Botanist. It's harder than I thought with these arms.

The emu looks at Jean-Botanist's arms, with suckers on the undersides.

Suckers are no good for picking seeds, says the emu. Here, let me help. How many?

Three will do, says Jean-Botanist.

The emu picks three saltbush seeds with his beak and spits them towards Jean-Botanist.

Many thanks, says Jean-Botanist. 

He rolls the three seeds back down the sand to the Nachoo.

The emu watches as Jean-Botanist pushes the seeds into the Nachoo, before entering the Nachoo (backwards) and being towed back to sea by a lobster in a sea captain's hat.

Enterprising young chap, thinks the emu.

Cool Names

Captain Baudin tows the Nachoo away from the rocks.

He stops towing.

The Nachoo bobs up and down on the surface.

Come out, lad, says Captain Baudin.

I'm out, says the baby cuttlefish, coming out.

Face that way, says Captain Baudin. Tell me what you see.

Rocks and bushes, says the baby cuttlefish.

Very good, says Captain Baudin. Now, as to the mapping...

Yes, says the baby cuttlefish. 

Of course I didn't do my own mapping, says Captain Baudin. 

Who did it? asks the baby cuttlefish.

My surveyor, says Captain Baudin. He took his theodolite, chains and compasses and disappeared, sometimes for up to three days.

Does that mean you don't know how to do mapping? asks the baby cuttlefish.

Not quite, says Captain Baudin. Because I know what he did. He measured the angles.

Let's do that, says the baby cuttlefish.

We can't, without the proper the equipment, says Captain Baudin.

How will I learn? asks the baby cuttlefish.

Captain Baudin ponders.

Are you interested in botany? asks Captain Baudin.

What is botany? asks the baby cuttlefish.

Trees and bushes, says Captain Baudin. You've already spotted some bushes.

Does that mean I'd be good at it? asks the baby cuttlefish.

Yes, says Captain Baudin. As a botanist, you go ashore for up to three days, but you don't have to measure the angles.

So what will I be doing? asks the baby cuttlefish.

Picking up samples, and bringing them back to the vessel, says Captain Baudin.

Samples of bushes? asks the baby cuttlefish.

Not only bushes, says Captain Baudin. Flowers and grasses. 

I can do that, says the baby cuttlefish. 

It won't be easy, says Captain Baudin. My botanist had fingers for collecting his specimens.

I have eight arms, says the baby cuttlefish.

So you do, says Captaing Baudin. And you have your own Nachoo. Would you like me to tow you ashore, so you can make a start on your new occupation?

Yes, captain, says the baby cuttlefish. 

You remind me of my former botanist, says Captain Baudin. He too was respectful.

What was his name? asks the baby cuttlefish.

A long name, says Captain Baudin. As I recall, it was Jean Baptiste Louis-Claude Theodore Leschenault de la Tour.

I wish I had a name, says the baby cuttlefish.

Take one of his, says Captain Baudin.

The baby cuttlefish is excited, 

He's going to be a botanist.

With a choice of cool names.

Come With Me Lad

Again Terence lowers the Nachoo.

The baby cuttlefish backs into it slowly.

It's in! says Terence.

Pull it up, says Gaius. 

Terence lifts the Nachoo out of the water and peers in.

The baby cuttlefish stares out at Terence. 

Hello, says Terence. 

Hello, says the baby cuttlefish.

It talks! says Terence. It didn't before.

I was a baby, says the baby cuttlefish.

You're still a baby, says Terence. 

And I didn't like the egg box, says the baby cuttlefish.

Do you like the Nachoo? asks Terence.

I like this end, says the baby cuttlefish. Not the other end where I couldn't see out.

You're going to have a happy life, says Terence.

I know, says the baby cuttlefish. I'm going to learn mapping.

How come? asks Terence.

That's what you do in a Nachoo, says the baby cuttlefish.

Who said? asks Terence.

Lobster Guy, says the baby cuttlefish.

Ageless lobster is sunning himself on a rock, in his sunnies.

What's up? asks Ageless.

Mapping, says Terence. 

O yes, says Ageless. Proper mapping. Baudin is the one to teach that.

Where is he? asks Terence.

Looking for his hat, says Ageless. 

Baudin appears, in his sea captain's hat.

Found it, says Captain Baudin. 

Job for you, says Ageless.

What's that? asks Captain Baudin.

Terence's cuttlefish wants to learn proper mapping, says Ageless. 

A lost art, says Captain Baudin.

But you haven't lost it, says Ageless.

The theory, no, says Captain Baudin. But I no longer have my theodolite, chains and compasses.

What would a baby cuttlefish do with theodolites, chains and compasses? asks Ageless.

Nothing, says Captain Baudin. But I'll give him a theoretical lesson. Where is he?

Here, in the Nachoo, says Terence. 

He hands Captain Baudin the string.

Come with me, lad, says Captain Baudin.

The baby cuttlefish has little choice in the matter.

What's going to happen?

Captain Baudin heads to the edge of a rock and dives in.

Splash!

And splash!

The second splash is the splash of the Nachoo. 

The One Who Wasn't

It didn't work! says Terence.

It worked momentarily, says Gaius.

But then it didn't, says Terence.

Gaius looks into the water.

He sees many baby cuttlefish, looking up.

It seems you have their attention, says Gaius.

Terence looks too.

Yes, he has their attention.

Who wants a turn in the Nachoo? shouts Terence.

The baby cuttlefish look at one another.

Even the one who was about to go into the Nachoo when the Nachoo was pulled out of the water, is doubtful.

What happened can happen again.

No one wants to, says Terence.

Pity, says Gaius.

Why not send Ageless down, says Denis.

Send me? says Ageless.

Ask him to go down, says Denis.

Ageless, says Gaius. Will you go down and find out why no baby cuttlefish are willing to enter the Nachoo?

Leave it to Lobster Guy, says Ageless. 

He slips into the water, near the cuttlefish babies.

They back away.

Remember me? says Ageless.

No, say the cuttlefish babies.

You wouldn't, says Ageless. You were eggs last time I saw you.

We weren't EGGS! scoff the baby cuttlefish.

One of you wasn't, says Ageless.

Me, says the one who wasn't.

You! says Ageless. Is there a reason you jumped out of the Nachoo?

It was scary, says the baby cuttlefish. There were spikes at the entrance.

That has been rectified, says Ageless. But then you came back?

Yes, says the baby cuttlefish. I want to learn mapping.

Mapping? says Ageless. Proper mapping?

Yes, proper mapping, says the baby cuttlefish. And so I swam back here and saw the Nachoo and swam into it.

And straight out again like last time, says Ageless. What was the problem?

I went in head first and couldn't see anything, says the baby cuttlefish.

That's right, says one of the other baby cuttlefish.

So we said, go in bum first, says another one of the babies.

And I was just going to, says the baby cuttlefish.

So why didn't you? asks Ageless.

Because it zoomed away really quickly, says the baby cuttlefish.

Lobster Guy will fix this, says Ageless. Be ready next time.

He clambers out of the water and onto a rock.

Lower the Nachoo, says Ageless. 

Then what? asks Terence.

And wait, says Ageless. The baby cuttlefish will be backing in slowly. It wants to learn mapping.

Well done, Ageless! says Gaius.

Lobster Guy, says Ageless.

Bum First

He said he was mapping, says the baby cuttlefish. But he was just looking.

That's not mapping, agree the other baby cuttlefish.

That's what I thought, says the baby cuttlefish.

What about the Nachoo? asks one of the other baby cuttlefish.

He said cuttlefish don't need a Nachoo, says the baby cuttlefish.

But you were in one, says the other one. 

I know, says the baby cuttlefish. If I'd stayed in it, I might have got a lesson.

You could go back and ask, says the other one.

Yes, why don't you? ask the rest of the others.

Come with me? says the baby cuttlefish.

Okay, agree all the others.

They follow the baby cuttlefish back to the rock where he had leapt from the Nachoo.

They swim about, looking up.

Terence is ready to try out the new improved Nachoo. All it needs is some string.

The jagged edges round the top of the Nachoo have been curled inwards, now presenting no danger.

Captain Baudin has just returned from another trip back to th lighthouse to look for some string.

He has found some.

Now Gaius is tying the string round the top of the Nachoo, with a loop for Terence to hold onto.

He hands it to Terence.

Terence sits on a rock above the water and lowers the can on its string.

See that? That's the Nachoo! says the baby cuttlefish. 

Woo! say the other baby cuttlefish. Are you going to go in?

Yes! says the baby cuttlefish.

He swims in.

It came back! shouts Terence.

The baby cuttlefish comes out again backwards.

It got away! shouts Terence.

What's wrong? ask the other baby cuttlefish.

Can't see anything, it's dark, says the baby cuttlefish.

Go in bum first, say the others.

All right, says the baby cuttlefish.

He is about to, when Terence pulls the Nachoo out of the water.

Mapping Cuttlefish Style

Let's ask that big old one how to do mapping, says the baby cuttlefish.

A big old cuttlefish is drifting close by.

You ask him, say the other baby cuttlefish.

Okay, says the baby cuttlefish. 

He swims up to the big old one.

Go away, little squirt, says the big old cuttlefish.

I thought you'd have wisdom, says the baby cuttlefish.

I do, says the big old one.

Can I ask you a question? says the baby cuttlefish.

Only if I know the answer, says the big old one.

What if you don't know the answer, asks the baby cuttlefish.

Then you can't ask the question, says the big old one.

The question is about mapping, says the baby cuttlefish. Will you know the answer?

Mapping, yes, says the big old one. What do you want to know?

How to do it, says the baby cuttlefish. I had a chance to go mapping and I blew it. Now all my friends want to go mapping.

Do you even know what it is? asks the big old one.

Something you do in a Nachoo, says the baby cuttlefish. 

We cuttlefish don't need a Nachoo, says the big old one. You've been with an old sailor. 

Two lobsters, says the baby. 

Then they had no need of a Nachoo. says the big old one. I thought you must have been with some humans.

Humans too, says the baby cuttlefish.

Right, says the big old one. So forget all you know.

Okay, says the baby cuttlefish. Now what?

Mapping cuttlefish style, says the big old one. Pay attention.

He drifts off towards a nearby reef.

The baby cuttlefish supposes he should follow.

The big old one undulates past underwater rocks, nooks and crannies, and clutches of unhatched eggs.

Looking and looking.

After a few metres he stops.

That'll do, says the big old one. Did you get that?

All you did was look, says the baby cuttlefish.

It's all in my head, says the big old one. And it should be in yours.

Is that mapping? asks the baby cuttlefish.

Yes, says the big old one. Now go away. I need to enjoy what remains of my life.

The baby cuttlefish makes his way back to the other baby cuttlefish.

So what is it? ask the other baby cuttlefish.

I don't think he knew, says the baby cuttlefish.

The Dangerous End

The baby cuttlefish lands in the water, and starts swimming away.

You've lost it, says Ageless. After all that trouble.

It's going for a swim, says Terence.

Surely you don't think it will return, says Denis.

It might, says Terence. 

Maybe it didn't like the Nachoo, says Captain Baudin.

Why? asks Terence.

It jumped out straight away, says Ageless.

The rough edges, says Gaius. 

We should fix it, says Terence.

To what end? asks Gaius.

The dangerous end, says Terence.

They all look at the Nachoo which has a dangerous end.

Easy done, says Captain Baudin. Just press the jagged parts in with your finger.

Ooh! winces Denis.

Not you, Denis, says Gaius. You've already injured your finger.

I wasn't thinking of my finger, says Denis. I was thinking of being in the Nachoo with the jagged edges turned inward. It would seem like a prison.

Curl them over, says Terence.

This seems like a cuttlefish friendly solution, but how would they do it?

While they are thinking, the baby cuttlefish has swum further away.

 It has met up with some other baby cuttlefish.

Wee! say the other baby cuttlefish. Where have you been?

I have been in a Nachoo, says the baby cuttlefish.

What's a Nachoo? asks the other babies.

A round hole with jagged edges, says the baby cuttlefish. Shiny, outside and in.

Why were you in it? asks the other baby cuttlefish.

I was dropped in it, says the baby cuttlefish. I think it was because of my facial expression.

The other cuttlefish babies examine its facial expression.

Yes, they conclude. It may have been due to the facial expression.

It's good you escaped, say the other cuttlefish babies.

Not that good, says the baby cuttlefish. I was going to go mapping the coast of New Holland.

Wow! say the other cuttlefish babies. We would give anything to go mapping.

Would you? asks the baby cuttlefish. Maybe I made a dumb decision.

Let's go mapping, say the other cuttlefish babies. 

What is mapping? asks one of them.

But there is no baby cuttlefish that knows.

Da-dah And Oop-la!

Look at this! says Terence.

That's a serious can opener, says Denis.

It's a Pee-38 says Terence. 

P-38, says Captain Baudin. 

I said that, says Terence.

I thought you said Pee-38, says Captain Baudin.

I didn't, says Terence.

Never mind, says Gaius. The point is to use it.

Here's the Red Bull can, says Denis.

Where's my baby cuttlefish? asks Terence.

Here, says Ageless. 

Is it still spinning? asks Terence.

No, it's stopped, says Ageless. The egg box is collapsing.

Get it out! cries Terence.

Ageless tries to open the transparent door.

The top of the egg box comes away, exposing the baby.

Terence lifts out the baby cuttlefish.

It stares up at him.

You're getting a Nachoo, says Terence.

The baby cuttlefish sneezes.

Did you hear that? asks Gaius. 

What? asks Denis, who is trying to manoevre the P-38 round the can and avoid jagged edges.

Terence predicted the cuttlefish would sneeze, says Gaius. And it did sneeze.

Power of suggestion, says Denis. 

Still, says Gaius. It's not a bad effort.

The Nachoo is the name Terence chose for the Red Bull can, says Captain Baudin. Sorry to ruin your theory.

The Nachoo! says Gaius. Why that?

Isn't the term Nacho? asks Denis. Those corn chip things, smothered in salsa and cheese?

Why yes! says Gaius. Why did you choose that name, Terence?

Captain Baudin's ship was a Nachoo, says Terence.

The Naturaliste, says Captain Baudin. And it wasn't my vessel, mine was the other one.

What other one? asks Denis. Ouch! I'm bleeding! 

He has not been paying attention.

You need to give a P-38 your full attention, says Captain Baudin.

A band-aid, Denis? asks Gaius. I probably have one.

No thanks, I'll just suck it, says Denis. Can you finish the job?

He hands Gaius the Nachoo and the P-38. 

Gaius starts sawing, avoiding the jagged edges.

The Géographe, says Captain Baudin. That was the name of my vessel.

A fine name, says Denis. I assume you were mapping?

We were, says Captain Baudin. I led the expedition to map the coast of New Holland. 

Done! says Gaius, raising the can. 

Can the baby go in now? asks Terence.

First let me fill it with water, says Gaius.

He dips the can in the water and hands it to Terence.

Terence now has the Nachoo in one hand and the baby cuttlefish in the other.

Everyone is looking.

Da-dah! He drops the baby cuttlfish into the Nachoo.

Oop-la! It shoots straight back out again

Tattoo Sort

Terence and Captain Baudin are not back yet.

Ageless is minding the hatchling.

Gaius is looking for a pencil.

Denis takes out his phone.

This would be a good time to reply to Henriette's message.

He looks at the photo she sent him, of her feet with the cuttlefish tattoos on the soles.

He starts tapping:

News! The lobsters collected a number of cuttlefish eggs in a croissant packet, and then let them go, because they were hatching. Terence found his egg box. He is keeping one baby behind. The baby is revolving inside the egg box which is falling apart, but the plan is to transfer it to an empty Red Bull can, as soon as a can opener is found. I will send you a picture of the spinning baby. You might like to compare it to the tattoos on your feet. At first I believed they were words. But no, they were cephalopods! And well executed. I am sitting on a wet rock. What are you doing?

Writing to Henriette? asks Gaius.

Yes, says Denis. I hope I have struck the right tone.

Read it aloud, if you'd like a second opinion says Gaius. 

Denis reads it aloud.

The lobsters? says Ageless. 

You and Baudin are lobsters, says Denis. What's wrong with that title?

Proper names would have been more repectful, says Ageless.

What about the rest of it? asks Denis.

Was it wise to leave the comment about her tattoos to the end of your missive? asks Gaius.

I don't like to gush, says Denis. Our relationship is not of that kind.

Females like compliments, says Ageless.

And she has gone to a great deal of trouble, says Gaius. Getting tattoos can be painful.

Maybe they were just drawn on, says Denis. And have now been washed off. She didn't seem like a tattoo sort of person.

Then you are wise to make little of it, says Gaius.

That's what I thought, says Denis. So I'll send it.

What about the photo? asks Gaius.

Yes! Thanks for reminding me, says Denis.

He takes a photo of the spinning baby through the transparent door of the egg box.

It's a bit blurry, says Denis. 

I could stop it spinning, says Ageless.

How? asks Denis.

But that won't be necessary. 

Terence and Captain Baudin have arrived with the can opener.

Soon To Become The Nachoo

Denis finds the can of Red Bull.

He opens it with the ring pull and hands it to Terence.

Terence drinks it.

Buuurp! Now what? asks Terence.

Force your hatchling inside, says Ageless.

It won't fit through the hole, says Captain Baudin. But there's a can opener back at the light house.

Let's go and get it, says Terence.

D'accord, says Captain Baudin.  

I suppose you want us to look after your hatchling, says Gaius.

Terence looks into the egg box, where his purple baby cuttlefish is revolving while staring out through the transparent door.

Stop that! says Terence.

What's it doing? asks Gaius.

It's turning round and round in the egg box and staring, says Terence.

Then there's no time to lose, says Gaius. Off you go to find that can opener.

Captain Baudin and Terence climb up the rocks to the trail, and head for the lighthouse.

We should have brought the Titanic, says Terence.

To what are you referring? asks Captain Baudin.

The can, says Terence. It's going to be a Titanic.

That name presages bad luck, says Captain Baudin. May I suggest a better one?

What? asks Terence. 

La Fortuna for example, says Captain Baudin.

That's no good, says Terence.

Why so? asks Captain Baudin. 

It's not for a tuna, says Terence.

Ha ha, laughs Captain Baudin. 

What's another name? asks Terence.

I had two ships, says Captain Baudin. One was the Géographe and one was the Naturaliste. Do you like either of those?

I like the Nachoo, says Terence.

Then Nachoo it is, says Captain Baudin.

They have now reached the lighthouse. They go in.

Captain Baudin finds a can opener.

It's an old P-38, with a sharp cutting tooth. 

My trusty P-38, says Captain Baudin.

Can I carry it? asks Terence.

Certainement, says Captain Baudin. But take care not to pierce yourself.

I can't pierce myself, says Terence.

I suppose not, says Captain Baudin.

They start back down the trail to where the others are waiting, with the purple baby in the egg box. 

And the Red Bull can, soon to become the Nachoo.

Magic Word

It doesn't want me to do it, says Terence.

How do you know ? asks Ageless.

It's looking at me like it doesn't, says Terence.

Then it must want to die, says Ageless. 

It DOESN'T!, says Terence.

What's going on? asks Gaius.

Ageless kicked them all in the water, except this one and this one doesn't want to go in the water, says Terence.

I didn't kick them, I flicked them, says Ageless.

Gaius looks at the purple drying-out baby cuttlefish.

See? says Terence.

It needs water, says Gaius. 

But not big water, says Terence.

Put it back in the egg box, says Gaius. Then we'll dip it into the water.

Okay, says Terence.

He picks up the purple drying-out baby cuttlefish and places it back in the egg box.

Will you lower it in, Ageless? asks Gaius.

Carefully, says Terence.

 I'm always careful, says Ageless. He lowers the egg box into the water.

How will this work? asks Denis. The box will become soggy.

A temporary solution, says Gaius. 

The egg box fills with seawater,

The purple dried-out baby cuttlefish regains its shimmer.

Ageless lifts the egg box out of the water and places it on the rock beside Terence.

You're saved! says Terence.

 The purple less-dried-out baby cuttlefish stares at him with its usual imploring expression.

Now what? asks Terence.

It's still not happy, says Gaius.

Maybe it was born with that expression, says Ageless.

Captain Baudin comes over.

What do you think, Baudin? asks Gaius.

The others are starting to hatch, says Baudin. The croissant bag is splitting.

Then we must let them go, says Gaius. 

All that collecting for nothing, says Captain Baudin.

Nothing is ever for nothing, says Gaius. We have learnt a great deal today. 

Want me to take a  few photos? asks Denis, before they all swim away?

Wonderful, says Gaius. Good thinking Denis!

What about this one? asks Terence.

The egg box is already getting soggy.

You may keep this one, says Gaius. But you'll need a better container.

A Titanic, says Terence.

Where would we get a Titanic? says Gaius.

Did Terence ever drink his can of Red Bull? asks Roo-kai.

Of course! says Gaius. An empty can would be just the right size, and it wouldn't get soggy.

So where is it? asks Roo-kai.

It may be in my backpack, says Gaius.

It isn't, says Terence. I took everything out, remember?

Yes, and I put everything back in, says Gaius.

It may be back at the lighthouse, says Roo-kai.

Go and see, says Terence. 

Roo-kai waits for a please.

Luckily, as it happens. 

Because Denis has come across to show a series of photos to Gaius, and wondered at the silence.

Why is everyone so quiet?asks Denis.

Roo-kai is waiting for the magic word, says Gaius.

The magic word? asks Denis.

Gaius explains that Rookai is going to look for Terence's can of Red Bull, as soon as he hears it.

No need for the magic word, says Denis. 

The Red Bull's in my backpack.

Not The Titanic

Now how many have I got? asks Terence.

Five, says Gaius. Six less one.

That's more than I had to start with, says Terence.

It's one less, says Gaius.

So why did you say five six less one? asks Terence.

I was explaining the mathematical logic, says Gaius.

Yes, says Denis. And you confused him.

No I didn't, says Terence.

I think Denis meant I confused you, says Gaius.

Terence looks into his egg box at the remaining five eggs which are all now dark purple.

I'm letting them out, says Terence.

That's seems the best option, says Gaius. 

Terence starts taking the eggs out and placing them in a row on a rock near the water

Now the problem remains, what to do with the eggs that Captain Baudin has collected? says Gaius.

We could anchor the croissant packet here, and observe them, says Denis.

With what? asks Captain Baudin. They could float away en masse.

Like an underwater Titanic, says Denis.

An interesting thought, says Gaius.

What's a Titanic? asks Terence.

A big ship that hit an iceberg and sank, says Gaius.

Many passengers were drowned, says Denis, but of course that won't happen in this case.

True, says Gaius. All the passengers in the croissant packet are at home in the water.

The five purple ones on the rock are drying out because Terence has been listening to the Titanic story.

They are shrinking and losing their shine.

Only Ageless has noticed.

He flicks one into the water to see if it helps. 

Yes. The baby cuttlefish revives, and shimmies away in the water.

Ageless flicks another one in, and another and another.

Terence has noticed.

Only one dry purple baby is left on the rock now.

Before you say anything, says Ageless. I did it. 

I was going to do it, says Terence.

Do it to this one, says Ageless.

But there is something different about this one.

It is gazing at Terence with an imploring look in its eyes.

Which Terence takes to mean: Please don't do it!

Enough Interventions

Gaius comes back with the back pack, and Roo-kai.

NO ONE'S allowed to eat any more of these eggs! says Terence.

Who else has been eating them? asks Gaius.

Ageless had one, says Denis.

It was expiring, says Ageless. 

It wasn't, says Terence. I was going to give it some water.

It's expired now, says Denis, but there are plenty more where it came from.

Thanks to me, says Captain Baudin. And I'd like that to go on the record.

It will be in my notes, when I make them, says Gaius.

So what happens next? asks Denis. 

We decide where to keep the cuttlefish eggs, until they hatch, says Gaius. 

The croissant bag is jam-packed, says Captain Baudin.

Lucky I took some out, says Terence.

Lucky someone ate one, says Ageless.

And someone ate two, says Roo-kai.

So you've taken some out, Terence? says Gaius. How many are in your egg box?

I'll count them, says Terence.

He looks in through the transparent door, and appears to be counting

Let me count them, says Gaius.

He also looks in through the transparent door.

These cuttlefish eggs are pulsating, says Gaius. 

That sounds bad, says Denis.

 It may be a sign that hatching is imminent, says Gaius. 

Yay! says Terence.

There are six, says Gaius. And the biggest one is turning dark purple in patches.

Six, says Terence. Correct. Which one is purple?

That one, says Gaius. I suggest we take it out of the egg box and place it in the water.

It might swim away, says Denis. Then what will have been the point of our actions?

We will have gained information, says Gaius.

But we won't have protected it from the toxic algae, says Denis.

The purple egg now looks more like a baby cuttlefish than an egg.

It does not look happy in the egg box.

I'm taking it out, says Terence.

He opens the door and picks it out with his fingers.

The baby cuttlefish gasps and wriggles. 

Terence drops it on a rock near the water.

It shivers, shimmers, rolls over and flops into the water.

It starts swimming away.

Want me to recapture it? asks Ageless.

I think we've done enough interventions, says Gaius.

Eet-en-ee-ten

At least keep it out of the sun, says Denis.

Terence moves the egg box into Denis's shadow.

Don't worry, eggs, says Terence. You won't dry out straight away.

Do you think they're listening? asks Denis.

Yes, says Terence. If I was an egg I'd be listening.

What with? asks Denis.

My egg ears, says Terence.

Ha ha, laughs Denis. Egg ears. Where are they, on an egg?

Inside, says Terence. Where everything else is.

Keep talking, says Denis. 

Terence keeps talking to the eggs in the egg box. He tells them about his original idea for an egg box where each egg had its own little cabin.

The eggs are listening, with their egg ears, but their egg brains don't get what they're hearing. What is a cabin?

Perhaps it's best they don't know what it is they're not getting.

Denis gets his phone out to reply to Henriette, regarding her tattooed feet photo..

But now Ageless clambers out of the water, followed by Captain Baudin.

Did Roo-kai deliver the cuttlefish eggs? asks Captain Baudin.

Yes, and he's eaten two of them, says Denis.

He says they taste like jelly, says Terence.

The egg ears are still listening. Jelly? What's jelly?

I found my egg box, says Terence.

Ageless picks up the egg box and looks in through the transparent door.

These ones are going to dry out, says Ageless. 

They won't, says Terence. I'm going to give them some water.

When? asks Ageless. Look at this one, already expiring.

He opens the door, picks out a cuttlefish egg and waves it around.

Wet it, says Terence.

Agelss lowers himself into the water, with the egg in his claw.

He disappears for a moment or two, and comes back up without it.

Roo-kai is right, says Ageless. They do taste like jelly.

Wah! says Terence. Another one got eaten.

The egg ears in the egg box like the sound of the word EETEN.

Eet-en-ee-ten

But only because they can't yet make connections.

Mercy Of The Elements

My egg box is ruined, says Terence.

You could probably resurrect it, says Roo-kai. Try squeezing the sides.

Okay, says Terence. 

Before you do that, says Roo-kai, you'd better put all Gaius's stuff back.

Can you do it? asks Terence.

I told you I'm not touching anything, says Roo-kai.

But it would be a good deed, says Terence.

For you, says Roo-kai. Gaius wouldn't notice the difference.

He would if he knew I found the egg box, says Terence. Go and tell him.

No, says Roo-kai. You go and tell him. 

Okay, says Terence. You stay here and mind all his stuff.

Okay, says Roo-kai. 

Terence heads across to where Denis and Gaius are contemplating the croissant packet with the cuttlefish eggs inside.

Where shall we put them? asks Denis.

Gaius has been asking himself the same question.

Perhaps we should wait for Ageless and Captain Baudin to come back, says Gaius. They may have a suggestion.

Guess what! says Terence.

You found it! says Gaius. Well done. 

But it's ruined, says Terence. 

In what way? asks Gaius.

It's flat, says Terence. So there's no room inside.

Did you try squeezing the sides? asks Denis.

Not yet, says Terence. Roo-kai said I should put all Gaius's things back in his backpack so I asked him to but he wouldn't.

Curses! says Gaius. That means all my things are strewn over the rocks at the mercy of the elements.

He stands up and heads towards his backpack, and Roo-kai.

Give me the egg box, says Denis.

 I left it back there with Roo-kai, says Terence.

Well, go and get it, says Denis. 

Terence goes back to get it.

Gaius is stuffing underwear and outerwear into his backpack.

Roo-kai is watching.

The egg box lies nearby on a rock, looking flat.

Terence picks up the egg box and takes it back to Denis.

This looks fixable, says Denis. Shall I squeeze it?

Yes, says Terence.

Denis squeezes the sides of the egg box until it is again three dimensional.

Yay! says Terence. Now I can put the eggs in. Where are they?

Here, says Denis. But I think you should wait...

Terence does not want to wait. He has waited already.

He opens the hinged door of his egg box.

He takes a handful of cuttlefish eggs from the croissant packet and drops them inside.

He closes the hinged door.

They'll dry out without water, says Denis.

So let's pour some in, says Terence.

The box is made of cardboard, says Denis. It'll go soggy, and the cuttlefish eggs aren't due to hatch till November.

But Terence is used to things turning out all right.

So he is not worried.

Allowed Jelly

Roo-kai! says Gaius. I'm surprised at you!

Nature is profligate, says Roo-kai.

Not in the case of endangered species, says Gaius.

Then I apologise, says Roo-kai.

I encouraged him, says Denis. I apologise too.

Don't be ridiculous, says Gaius. I don't require your apologies. Let's move forward.

Where is Terence? asks Roo-kai. Did he find the egg box?

He was going through my backpack, says Gaius. 

And where is that? asks Roo-kai.

I brought it down to the rocks with me, says Gaius. It's just over there.

Roo-kai goes over to the backpack.

Terence is rummaging through it.

Have you found it? asks Roo-kai.

No! says Terence. Did you fix what Gaius asked you?

I wasn't meant to fix it, says Roo-kai. But I found the empty croissant packet, full of holes.

My egg box has a hole, says Terence. If you're so good, help me find it.

I'm not touching anything while I'm in the bad books, says Roo-kai.

Why are you? asks Terence.

 I ate two of the cuttlefish eggs, says Roo-kai.

Woo! says Terence. Did they fall out of the holes?

No, says Roo-kai. They were in Captain Baudin's packet. It didn't have holes

There must have been one hole, says Terence.

That's an opening, says Roo-kai. It's not the same as a hole.

What did they taste like? asks Terence.

Fishy, says Roo-kai. Soft like jelly.

I'm allowed to have jelly, says Terence.

Keep looking for the egg box, says Roo-kai.

Terence has pulled out all Gaius's spare socks and underpants, one spare tee-shirt and a jumper.

He feels around in the bottom of the backpack.

Several pencils, an apple core, a receipt....

AND the egg box!

Is that it? asks Roo-kai. It looks like a flat muffin box with a window.

That's a door, says Terence. Leonardo made it. 

So what happens? asks Roo-kai. You push the eggs in though the door. Then what?

They can't get out, says Terence. 

They can't do anything, says Roo-kai.

It's not supposed to be flat, says Terence.

He imagines the cuttlefish eggs being pushed though the door.

Finding they can't move.

Being disappointed.

Mm...Fishy

Proof positive, says Ageless, to the giant cuttlefish.

He swishes the recovered croissant packet back and forth, in the water.

She's in a bad way, says the giant cuttlefish.

It's my croissant packet, says Ageless. 

What's coming out of the holes? asks the giant cuttlefish.

Nothing, says Ageless. 

Look again, says the giant cuttlefish. I know spermatophores when I see them.

And indeed little clumps of spermatophores are trailing around in the water.

It was assaulted, says Ageless. 

The giant cuttlefish is beginning to understand what must have happened.

Anyone can make a mistake, says the giant cuttlefish. You have to admit these croissant females are beauties.

Ageless decides to leave it at that. 

It's not for him to be judgemental.

The giant cuttlefish drifts away.

Ageless swims across to Captain Baudin.

Captain Baudin has filled his croissant packet with cuttlefish eggs.

Enough? asks Captain Baudin. I can't fit many more in.

Enough, says Ageless.

Then let's go, says Captain Baudin. 

He shoots up to the surface.

Ageless follows.

Roo-kai is floating nearby.

All done? asks Roo-kai. 

All done, says Ageless. Thanks for finding my croissant packet. 

Useless as it is, says Roo-kai.

It did come in useful, says Ageless. A giant cuttlefish was asking me questions.

What questions? asks Roo-kai.

About what was coming out of the holes, says Ageless. 

Which was? asks Roo-kai.

Spermatophores, says Ageless. 

And you knew that? asks Roo-kai.

No, he knew that, says Ageless.

So it was a rhetorical question, says Roo-kai.

I suppose so, says Ageless.

Let's get moving, says Captain Baudin. These eggs are beginning to drag on my claws.

Want me to take them? asks Roo-kai.

If you would, says Captain Baudin.

Roo-kai takes the croissant packet from Captain Baudin, rises and flies back to shore.

He lands on a rock beside Gaius and Denis.

Mission accomplished, says Roo-kai.

Jumping Jupiter! says Gaius. What a haul! 

What are we going to do with them? asks Denis.

Protect them, until they hatch in early November, says Gaius.

They look like little cocktail onions, says Denis.

They do look tasty, says Roo-kai. I might try one.

Go on, says Denis.

Before Gaius can protest, Roo-kai eats one of the eggs.

Mm...fishy! And he is hungry. 

He helps himself to another.

Crime Against Nature

Captain Baudin has begun inserting cuttlefish eggs into the open croissant packet.

Ageless stands by.

The giant cuttlefish, who has been observing, moves closer.

This is unacceptable, says the giant cuttlefish.

I thought you might think so, says Ageless. But it's not what it seems.

Are you saying my eyes deceive me? asks the giant cuttlefish.

What are you seeing? asks Ageless.

One of our females being abused, says the giant cuttlefish.

That is where your eyes deceive you, says Ageless. It's not a female cuttlefish but a croissant packet. I have one as well.

Where is it? asks the giant cuttlefish.

I left it behind, due to a difficulty, says Ageless.

So there's no proof it existed, says the giant cuttlefish.

I thought you lived for today, says Ageless.

It is today, says the giant cuttlefish.

True, says Ageless. But look at the outside of your so-called female. What do you see?

She is transparent, says the giant cuttlefish. I see her insides filling up with eggs which she has already expelled. It's clearly a crime against nature.

I meant the words on her side, says Ageless. Butter Croissants Bake At Home.

I know nothing of writing, says the giant cuttlefish.

Ageless wonders how best to proceed if the giant cuttlefish knows nothing of writing.

But perhaps they are not all so ignorant.

He gestures to a second giant cuttlefish.

Come here!

The second giant cuttlefish drifts upwards.

It's not looking at Ageless at all.

It's looking at something on the surface.

Two orange legs paddling, and one of those transparent females, trailing behind them.

Ageless looks up, and sees the legs of Roo-kai.

And the ditched croissant packet.

Leave it to Lobster Guy, says Ageless.

He shoots up to the surface.

I've been looking for you, says Roo-kai. 

I need that croissant packet, says Ageless.

Then you should have taken more care of it, says Roo-kai. It's full of holes now. 

Holes? says Ageless What happened?

It has been accosted by numerous male cuttlefish, says Roo-kai. 

Never mind, says Ageless. Let me have it.

Roo-kai lets him have it.

Ageless drags it down......

Future What Future?

Ageless has caught up with Captain Baudin at the reef.

The reef is dotted with white cuttlefish eggs in their thousands.

A few giant cuttlefish are swimming around.

Spoilt for choice, says Captain Baudin. What kept you?

Croissant packet held me back, says Ageless. So I ditched it.

Untie mine for me, says Captain Baudin, extending his dominant claw.

Ageless unties it.

Captain Baudin holds it open.

It soon fills with water.

The giant cuttlefish become aware of it now.

They float nearer.

I've just remembered something, says Ageless.

What is it? asks Captain Baudin.

I'm supposed to obtain their permission, says Ageless.

Go on then, says Captain Baudin.

Ageless addresses the nearest giant cuttlefish.

Allow me to introduce myself, says Ageless. I'm Lobster Guy, here on a mission.

Bloop, says the giant cuttlefish.

No need for that, says Ageless. I suppose you've heard of the toxic algal bloom?

Who hasn't? says the giant cuttlefish. I suppose you've heard it's not present in these waters.

That doesn't mean it won't be, in the future, says Ageless.

Future what future? says the giant cuttlefish. We live for today.

Yes I forgot about your situation, says Ageless. So you won't mind if we take a few eggs.

Go for it, says the giant cuttlefish. They're useless anyway. Although they do look quite festive.

They do, says Ageless. 

Who's your friend? asks the giant cuttlefish.

Captain Baudin, says Ageless. Lighthouse keeper.

Not him, says the giant cuttlefish. The beautiful one that he's holding open in that inviting manner.

What is he talking about? wonders Ageless.

Baudin is holding open the croissant packet, ready to put a few eggs in it, once permission is granted.

Aha! Now Ageless gets it.

The giant cuttlefish thinks the croissant packet is a lady.

But what will he think when Baudin starts to fill her with eggs?

I Foresee A Bad End

How has this happened?

The croissant packet floating around on its own?

Not even on its own, but with a cohort of sepia apama?

At least we know who has lost it.

Ageless and Captain Baudin have been swimming towards a promising reef.

Each with an empty croissant packet.

Captain Baudin's croissant packet is tied round his dominant claw.

Awkward, but not impossible.

Ageless's croissant packet is trailing behind him, wedged into a joint in his tail.

It's holding him back. 

He decides to ditch it.

Not in a careless way. He will pick it up later.

Captain Baudin will collect the eggs and the glory, but hey. 

Ageless swims on.

The croissant packet drifts up and down in the water, catching the light.

A giant cuttlefish, looking for another giant cuttlefish to mate with, approaches the croissant packet.

Hello lovely!

The croissant packet makes no response, but flashes and undulates in a cuttlefish-like fashion.

Laid any eggs yet?

No answer.

Shy type, are we? I know a place....

The giant cuttlefish is persuasive, and furthermore is creating a current.

The croissant packet follows the giant cuttlefish for a while, before dipping out.

It drops behind, but is soon noticed by other giant cuttlefish who have not yet mated.

Which explains what Roo-kai saw when retrieving the sea captain's hat.

Yay! says Terence, when Roo-kai lands on the rock beside Gaius.

I'll take care of the hat, says Gaius. 

It's wet, says Roo-kai.

I'll let it dry out on this rock in the sunshine says Gaius. 

Did you happen to see our two volunteers? asks Denis.

No, says Roo-kai, but I did see a weird thing.  

What? asks Terence.

At first I thought it was a giant cuttlefish says Roo-kai, but it had writing down one side.

That is unusual, says Gaius. Although cuttlefish are excellent mimics.

Surely not to the extent that they mimic writing, says Denis.

Ordinarily no, says Gaius. What did it say?

Butter Croissants Bake at Home, says Roo-kai. 

This is bad news, says Gaius. One of our team must have lost it.

It seemed quite at home with the cuttlefish, says Roo-kai. I think they've adopted it.

I foresee a bad end, says Gaius. I wonder if you'd mind going back out there.

And do what? asks Roo-kai.

Locate Ageless and Captain Baudin, find out what happened and get them to fix it, says Gaius.

Okay, says Roo-kai. 

He flies off over the water.

Lucky I dropped the captain's hat in the water, says Terence.

Very lucky indeed, agrees Gaius. 

Wark!

Don't do it, says Gaius.

I'm not about to dive in, says Denis. 

Good, says Gaius. 

It's not good, says Terence. How will I get the hat back?

It may float back to shore on a wave, says Gaius.

It doesn't look like it will, says Terence. It's getting smaller.

Captain Baudin may chance to look up as he's swimming, says Denis. 

And see his hat floating above him, says Gaius.

And retrieve it, says Denis.

Then what? asks Terence.

Put it on, says Denis.

Then what? asks Terence.

 He imagines the worst:

Captain Baudin swims back to the rocks with his sea captain's hat on. How did my hat get into the water? asks Captain Baudin. Terence dropped it, says Denis. I thought so. Will someone else take it, NOT Terence, says Captain Baudin. So Gaius takes it. Right, says Captain Baudin. Back to work. I've now lost contact with Ageless. What a BOTHER!

Luckily none of this happens.

Roo-kai is approaching.

Floof! He lands on a rock beside Terence.

I didn't see you at the campground last night, says Roo-kai.

We stayed the night in the lighthouse, says Gaius. With Captain Baudin. He and Ageless are diving in these waters, while we wait on the shore.

Silly question, says Roo-kai, but was Captain Baudin wearing a sea captain's hat when he entered the water?

No! says Terence. He left it with me to look after. And....

Say no more, says Roo-kai. I know where it is. I passed it on my way here.

Yay! says Terence. Go and get it.

I would be more inclined to go and get it for a polite person, says Roo-kai.

Well said, says Gaius.

 

Roo-kai flies off to retrieve the lost hat and return it to Gaius.

He flies to the spot where the hat is.

He lands on the water beside it.

Below, in the clear waters, he sees shoals of giant cuttlefish undulating and glinting. 

Aware of only themselves.

There goes a weird one. Undulating, glinting, transparent, with words on one side:

All Butter Croissants Bake At Home.

Wark! Modern times!