The Infamous Apple

He got it from two old French saints, says Sweezus.

Perfect balance? says Kant. How did that come about?

I deserved it, says Terence.

Which saints were these? pursues Kant.

Méen and Maclou, says Sweezus.

Never heard of them, says Kant.

They're not that famous, says Sweezus. They wear beanies and live on potatoes.

How could you be sure they were saints? asks Kant.

Because they BUZZED! says Terence.

And he actually got perfect balance, says Sweezus. 

See? says Terence. 

He jigs a bit more on the clothes horse

Kant can't argue with that.

Well, he could, but it doesn't seem worth it.

Can I have the head phones? asks Terence.

Sure, says Sweezus, putting the headphones on Terence's head.

Where's the music? asks Terence.

I'll find some, says Sweezus. What's good for galloping?

Diddley dee? says Terence.

No way, says Sweezus. That's for Irish dancing.

Kant laughs. Diddley dee.

Any ideas? asks Sweezus.

How about the William Tell overture? suggests Kant. 

Awesome! says Sweezus. Get this, Terence.

Duddl-ah-duddl-ah-duddl-ah-a-a, duddl-ah-duddl-ah-duddl-ah-a-a.......

Go Buster! shouts Terence.

You're supposed to be silent, says Sweezus.

But Terence can't hear him.

Sweezus lifts the headphones. 

Quiet, says Sweezus. 

Okay, says Terence. 

Sweezus replaces the headphones.

Duddl-ah duddl-ah.....

Well, I might leave you to it, says Kant.

He stands up to leave the self catering area, and go back to bed.

On the way he bumps into Gaius.

They've woken you too, I see, says Kant.

Indeed, says Gaius. What was all that racket?

It's quiet now, says Kant. Terence is listening to the William Tell overture while silently riding a clothes horse called Buster.

Buster! says Gaius. I thought I heard him shouting 'Go Buster!'

You did, says Kant. But Sweezus has asked him to be quiet.

I may as well get myself a glass of water, says Gaius.

Mind the chair and the fruit bowl, says Kant. 

The fruit bowl? says Gaius. 

It's on the floor, says Kant.

Gaius makes his way to the self catering area.

He does not bump into the chair, nor tip over the fruit bowl, but nearly steps on the apple.

He picks up the apple.

Sorry for waking you, says Sweezus. We tried not to.

Not at all, says Gaius. I see you've gone to a great deal of trouble to keep Terence amused through the night. Most commendable.

Yeah, thanks, says Sweezus.

Even to the extent of playing him the William Tell overture on the headhones, says Gaius.

Yeah, says Sweezus.

And providing the infamous apple, says Gaius.