An Orange Floats Up

Those are scorch marks, says Gaius. They won't come off easily.

Bleach might do it, says old Phillip. 

The weirdo lady said we should put it in an error, says Terence.

An airer, says Sweezus. 

What lady was this? asks old Phillip.

(although he suspects that he knows)

We didn't see her, says Sweezus. She was just a voice.

But you said she ironed it, says Kant.

She said she did, says Sweezus. I think she was Phillip's wife.

How so? asks old Phillip.

She said she had to go back to bed before you came home, says Terence.

Did she now? says old Phillip. Then I'd better be going.

Why not bring her over? asks Gaius. We have plenty of chocolates and wine.

And a fruit bowl, says Kant.

I suppose I could, says old Phillip. She enjoys the odd orange.

Me too, says Terence.

I'll see if she can be persuaded, says old Phillip.

He goes over to the door. Opens it.

And starts to shimmer.

Shimmer-shimmer-hup-hup.

She's coming, says old Phillip.

Is that how you communicate with your wife? asks Gaius. 

One of the ways, says old Phillip.

He waits at the open door.

It's not long before a tasseled night cap floats in.

My dear, why are you wearing your tasseled night cap? asks old Phillip.

Forgive me dear, I forgot to take it off, says the tasseled night cap.

Keep it on dear, says old Phillip. Then these good people will know where you are.

You always know best dear, says the tasseled night cap.

Allow me to introduce my dear wife, Mrs Hill, says old Phillip. 

Pleased to meet you, Mrs Hill,  says Kant. It's not every day one meets a disembodied spirit.

I'm not a disembodied spirit, says old Mrs Hill. Does a disembodied spirit wear a tasseled night cap?

I don't see why it shouldn't, replies Kant.

It would have nothing to rest on, says old Mrs Hill. Furthermore, could a disembodied spirit use an iron?

Perhaps she was unwise to ask this.

Kant looks pointedly at the scorched duvet cover.

An awkward moment.

May I offer you a chocolate? asks Gaius.

He thrusts the box of Favourites towards the tasseled night cap.

A chocolate rises out of the box. 

And drops back in again.

Perhaps something from the fruit bowl, says Gaius.

An orange floats up.