Some Bright Pink Stuff

When you've finished your dinners, I'll show you the suite, says the manager. 

I think we've all finished, says Gaius.

No desserts? asks the manager. We do a very nice sticky date pudding.

Arthur decides that he wants one. 

So they all have to wait .

Terence has stirred and stirred his ice cream with strawberry topping.

It's now a bright shade of pink.

He picks up the bowl and starts slurping.

Not so fast, says Gaius. It's thicker than you're used to.

Terence stops slurping and coughs.

Arthur's sticky date pudding arrives, topped with butterscotch sauce and ice cream.

Maybe I'll have one after all, says Sweezus.

The manager is hovering.

He's a busy person. He does not have all night.

Kant stands up. 

Perhaps you could show me the room now? says Kant. 

Certainly, Mr Kant, says the manager. Come with me.

I'll come too, says Gaius.

And me, says Terence.

The room only sleeps two, says the manager.

Terence doesn't need to sleep, says Gaius. He simply needs somewhere to be.

Come along then, says the manager.

He casts a backward glance at Sweezus and Arthur.

They look pretty settled.

...

This is the suite, says the manager. How do you like it?

There is an old fashioned four poster bed.

Terence takes a running jump and lands in the middle.

A pirate ship! says Terence.

A bit fancy, says Gaius.

Very comfortable, says Kant. What was the reasonable rate that you mentioned?

Half price, says the manager, if you'll allow me to make a promotional video.

Half of what? asks Kant.

Half of two ninety five, says the manager.

And our two colleagues, who remained in the hotel eating sticky date pudding? asks Kant.

There is another suite, says the manager.

Can't they sleep in this one? asks Kant.

What on? asks the manager.

The couch, says Gaius. And the bean bag.

There isn't a bean bag, says the manager.

They may be planning to sleep in the car, says Gaius.

Young and fit, says the manager. Right, I'll leave you to it. You'll find a complimentary bottle of wine, some chocolates and a fruit bowl in the self-catering area.

Excellent, says Gaius. 

I'll come round in the morning, says the manager. Have a good night.

He goes.

Terence stops bouncing.

Bluuuhhh! 

He vomits up some bright pink stuff.

On the fancy white cover of the old fashioned four poster bed.