The Ineffable

The Ineffable was and is and will be thinking about Everything. It was, is and will be easy for him.

Sometimes he thinks on the Particular, at the same time. It is easy for him.

Corky he thinks, Corky? I don't remember a Corky, do I? Oh yes, of course I remember multiple Corkies, and not all of them dogs. There was one in a television show once, a small American boy, an orphan, who travelled with a circus. It was in black and white, and I always knew beforehand what would happen.

He remembers everything, the Ineffable. It is easy for him.

He chooses to think about one particular Corky, again. Something is puzzling the Ineffable.

Something is puzzling me, he thinks. Insofar as something can puzzle me.

And what it is, is, why would I bother to leave a voice message on someone's computer?

Inasmuch as I do understand everything, of course, I am perfectly capable. It is easy for me.

But, I am very busy. I need to think about Everything. And if I know that the vet is going to call someone shortly I don't generally choose to preempt him.

Or her, thinks the Ineffable, equitably.

Then something occurs to the Ineffable. Insofar as something can occur which is known to him already.

I wished to convey an additional message that only I had the authority to convey.

He smiles.

At the same time he thinks about bacon, and how easily it gets under the fingernails.

It is easy for him.

Transfer of Information is Complete

I've finished The Wonderful World of Dogs! I said. Hoorah! Now I can wrap it up.

So what was your final impression? asked Pliny. Did you find it to be meritorious?

Oh very meritorious, I said. And I have a third favourite story.

What is it? asked Pliny.

It's the story of Corky, I answered. And it is quite spooky. Corky was very old and collapsed one day in the kitchen He was taken to the vet's where he was pronounced untreatable. The owner and her husband agreed that he should be put down. The vet said it would be done in twenty minutes. They said their goodbyes and went home.

Why didn't they stay? asked Pliny.

If they had, I said the following would not have happened. At home the owner turned on her computer to search for some photos of Corky. As she was searching she got an alert message and heard a voice say, "Transfer of information is complete". She'd never had a message like that before. It was very clear and quite deep. Then she got a call from the vet to say that Corky had died. The time of death was exactly the time of the voice message. Her husband thought it must be a God thing, and that "Transfer of information is complete" was a message to say that Corky was already in heaven.

Did she think so too? asked Pliny.

She said she would like to think so. She said the voice had not been mechanical, but had sounded quite human.

Then clearly it could not have been God, said Pliny.

She didn't say it was, I replied. She said a God thing. She didn't even say it herself. She said her husband said it.

This is a confusing story, said Pliny. I don't know why you liked it.