What It Was

Wait a minute, said Gaius. Did you say The Arrival?

Yes, said Anoctopus. Do you understand why that was funny?

Of course I do, said Gaius. Humour is never lost on me. But the reason I was asking is that if The Arrival is on then the OzAsia Festival must have begun.

So what? said Anoctopus.

I'll have to think of leaving, said Gaius. I need to go home and put the finishing touches to my Moon Lantern.

But you haven't heard my story about the Krakatoans, said Anoctopus. You can't go yet. I'm free to talk again now.

Too bad, said Gaius. Perhaps the others will stay. I'm sure they'd like to hear about the Krakatoans.

No we wouldn't! said Lavender. We want to come to the Moon Lantern Parade with you.

Speak for yourself, Lavender, said Baby Pierre.

Oh, good! said Anoctopus. Do you want to stay, Baby Pierre?

No, said Baby Pierre. I just like to make my own decisions.

You've told us lots of interesting stories, Anoctopus, said Gaius. Perhaps we'll meet again some day and hear about the Krakatoans. But now we have to go.

What about me? said Anoctopus. Are you going to leave me here in this bucket?

Is it stinky? asked Lavender, sniffing at the bucket. You've been in it an awful long time.

No need to be rude, said Anoctopus. Tip me back into the sea will you?

Gaius picked up the bucket and tipped Anoctopus back into the sea.

With a slippery splash Anoctopus disappeared into the black depths of the sea underneath the jetty.

Come on, said Gaius. Let's go back to my house. You can both help me with my Moon Lantern.

Our quest is over, isn't it, said Lavender.

Yes, said Baby Pierre, with a sigh. It's over. Do you know, Lavender, I can't even remember what it was.

Not Impervious

I've no love for sand, said Rabbie, as he plodded with Baby Pierre back up the beach towards Lavender and Ageless.

Ageless loves sand, said Baby Pierre. He's read a book about it.

A book about sand? said Rabbie. That sounds like possibly the most tedious book of all time, if ye don't mind me sayin' so.

I don't mind, said Baby Pierre. But remember, we're both made of sand.

Ye're right laddie, said Rabbie. Ye're a smart wee laddie. And Lavender, she's a smart wee lassie too.

We're on a quest, said Baby Pierre. To find the....

...the Immortal Jellyfish, I know, said Rabbie. But ye'll never find it on the shore.

Why not? said Baby Pierre.

Ye only find dead ones on the shore, said Rabbie. See? he added, kicking a kidney-shaped jelly-like blob that was lying on the sand. Ye need to go out on the water to catch a live one.

The jelly-like blob was furious. Watch it, he muttered. I'm not dead, you big lumbering muggins.

A jelly-like blob lying next to him nodded.

Fools they are, he said. Did you hear what they said? They're looking for some of our cousins.

They'll get no help from me, said the first blob.

Nor me, said the second.

And they don't like our sand, said the first.

I don't like it either, said the second. It sticks to my outside and scratches.

I like it, said the first. It never sticks to me.

Impervious, you are, said the second.

Not impervious, said the first, that's an incorrect use of the word.

Pedantic, said the second.

That's worse, said the first.

No, you are, said the second......


(Jellyfish conversations are always like this).

The Importance of Chatting

Time we were off? exclaimed Ageless. But we've only just arrived.

We're not getting anywhere, said Baby Pierre. Have you forgotten the quest?

No I haven't, said Ageless. The Jellyfish Oracle is an old friend. We've been chatting.

Yes, said the Jellyfish Oracle. Some folks don't know the value of chatting.

There's no value in chatting, said Baby Pierre. It's just wasting time.

Wrong! said the Jellyfish Oracle. I have learned something new about sand dunes.

What? asked Baby Pierre.

They move, said the Jellyfish Oracle. They move over rubbish and hide it, then
they move on and the rubbish appears again. It's brilliant.

That's not quite the point, said Ageless.

What kind of rubbish? asked Baby Pierre.

Tins, said Ageless. I think Ralph's rubbish was tins.

Ah, tins, said Baby Pierre. That gives me an idea.

I hope you're not going to suggest what I think you're going to suggest, said Ageless.

He is, he is! said the Jellyfish Oracle, getting excited.

How do you know? said Baby Pierre?

I'm an Oracle, derrrr, said the Jellyfish Oracle.

How about letting me in on it? said Ageless.

Well, said Baby Pierre, your tin of yam biscuits is holding you up, right?

Not necessarily, said Ageless. Sometimes I'm holding it up. Oh....you mean it's a nuisance!

Yes, said Baby Pierre. So why don't you leave it on the beach in front of a sand dune, and wait till the sand dune moves over it?

Not likely! said Ageless. They're not that sort of dunes. These dunes are more likely to disappear altogether, due to coastal erosion.

Goodness! Are they? said the Jellyfish Oracle. But this is my home!

In a Hurry

Come on! said Baby Pierre. Pack your book and your biscuits and let's get going. You promised we'd set off this morning.

What? said Ageless. Yes, yes. Give me a minute. What was it now? Ahh, Lavender is missing that's what. We should look for her first.

No we shouldn't, said Baby Pierre. We should get on the road. This is our quest, not hers.

Bad boy, said Ageless. What will Kobo say if you lose your cousin?

She won't even notice, said Baby Pierre.

He went to the window and looked out.

Whoooo! he said.

What now? said Ageless testily.

That statue! said Baby Pierre. The Frenchman. Robert something. It's gone. Or nearly gone. There's only his boots!

Scotsman, said Ageless. There is a difference. Only his boots, you say? Well let's hope young Lavender had nothing to do with it. Alright, I'm ready, let's go.

Hurrah! said Baby Pierre.

And together they set off on their quest.

.....

To find out what happened to Robert Burns we must now go back to the previous evening. After Lavender had left him, he had felt somewhat useless.

Why shouldn't I go with her to Henley? he asked himself. I may be made o' stone, but so is she.

And with a tremendous effort he wrenched himself out of his stone boots.

It took him quite some time to catch up with Lavender.

Rabbie! What happened to your legs? she cried.

Och lassie, said Rabbie. I was unmindful that I had no legs to speak of below ma knees. 'Tis uncomfortable let me tell ye.

Lavender made a sympathetic face, but secretly she felt elated. She was the cause of Rabbie being painfully shortened. She was as dangerous as Ageless!

Are you coming with me to Henley, Rabbie? she said.

Aye, that I am, said Rabbie. But 'twill be a slow journey with these legs o' mine.

Oh no it won't, said Lavender. We've got to get there before the others. Just grit your teeth and hurry up. Which way do we go?

Turritopsis Nutricula

What's an auger? asked Lavender. Does it mean I can tell the future?

No, said Ageless. That's an augury. Auger means a tool for boring holes.

Boring holes! said Lavender, offended.

Of course, said Ageless, no one could bore a hole with you.

Are you saying I'm not pointy enough? asked Lavender.

You're pointy enough, said Ageless. But there's something crucial missing.

You wouldn't say that if I was a BOY, said Lavender.

Lavender, said Baby Pierre. It's not a gender issue. You just don't have any ..... substance, that's all.

Lavender began to sulk.

Now then, said Ageless, to what do I owe this honour?

Have you ever heard of the Immortal Jellyfish? asked Baby Pierre.

I have, said Ageless. I was watching QI the other night. I do like that Stephen Fry.

Yes, but the Immortal Jellyfish, said Baby Pierre. Do you think that it really exists?

It does indeed, said Ageless. I googled it. Turritopsis nutricula. They are in fact growing in numbers. They are thought to have originated in the Caribbean, but they've now spread all over the world.

Baby Pierre was excited by this news.

Will you come on a quest with me, Ageless, to find one? he asked.

He means with us, said Lavender. US!

I will, said Ageless. It will be a pleasure to go on a quest with you, Baby Pierre.

A quest with US, said Lavender.

Of course, with you both, said Ageless. But I can't just drop everything you know. This evening I have an appointment at the Town Hall. Would you care to come with me? We can start on the quest tomorrow.