Barbie Soccer Coach

I have been looking forward to reading this. I had hoped that mum would have gone in by now, though. She is sitting opposite me under a framed print of hollyhocks, reading a magazine.

Barbie Soccer Coach is a Little Golden Book, published in 1995. On page one, Barbie is finishing a photo shoot. She looks gorgeous in a big white wedding dress. Off-puttingly, the photographer is named Skovoola. He may be meant to be Swedish. He is blond, blue-eyed and looks quite hot.

Barbie goes off to coach her little sister Skipper's soccer team. She wears cute little red shorts and long white socks. She tells her team, the Tigers, if they win tomorrow she will take them to the beach.

To cut a short story even shorter, they do not win. This is because the other team cheats. One of Barbie's team cheats back and is sent off. Because of this, the Tigers lose. She learns a lesson, and says sorry. Barbie is pleased that everyone has learned the lesson. Now we are all winners, says Barbie, and tomorrow I'll take you all to the beach.

Unexpectedly, Skovoola turns up at the beach as well, wearing a strangely patterned shirt.

I enjoyed that. Largely because of the art. Golden Book Barbie is much more in proportion than the Barbie doll. She looks exactly like quintessential beautiful young woman I spent many hours trying unsuccessfully to capture with my coloured pencils when I was ten.

What time is it now? Five past three. And mum is still here, sitting under the hollyhocks. Time to open up the second National Geographic. Ah! It's all about extinction.