That was fast said Pliny the Elder. Was your surgery successful?
I believe so, I replied.
Allow me to look at your wound, he said. Would you like me to prepare some curative medicaments to aid in its healing? Horse manure can be used, or the urine of a child that has not yet reached puberty. A bandage tied in a Hercules knot makes healing wonderfully more rapid.
The hand of a person carried off by premature death......but perhaps that is not something easily obtainable.
No, but thankyou, I said. I just have to leave this sticking plaster on it for about 3 weeks and then go and have it removed by the doctor. The stitches should have dissolved by then.
Stitches dissolved! he exclaimed. What wonders are these? I suppose I must resign myself to not being the foremost expert on all things as I once was. However I do have a pleasant little concoction called adynamon, which is good for invalids. It consists of weak wine boiled up with water. Would you like to try it?
O yes, please, as long as it isn't salt water, I said, croakily. I know what you Romans used to do.
Your voice has been affected I see, said Pliny the Elder. I have a most reliable cure for that, which is, to refrain from talking.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
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