Annoying the Buddha

O unenlightened one!

Ooh, who said that?

I, I mean Me.

Oh my Buddha!

Not your Buddha.

Are you displeased with me O Blessed one?

Yes I am. I have sat blessedly upon your chest of drawers for many years and the number of particles of dust in my cracks has increased with the passing of time. I note you have not dusted me of late. I have been a patient Bodhisattva as you know. I have put up with you decorating me with many a foolish trinket. I did not bat an eye when you put the boho necklace of cheap red stones round my neck. Nor did I complain when you hung the orange and brown spotted feather earring over my right ear. Beatifically I put up with the artificial pink rosebud that you wound around my topknot and did not lose a smidgeon of my equanimity when you hung the little plastic mobile phone decoration with 2 Snoopies in flying goggles from my topknot on the other side. I was imperturbable when you placed the heavy rhodium bracelet over my shoulders and I had to wear it like a dog collar, although this morning I almost achieved Nirvana when you decided to take it off again at last. All these things can be borne by an enlightened mind.

Well then ?

It's this pink ribbon that you have wound twice around my shoulders, that ends in a giant bow. It makes me look like a chocolate box or an old woman in a bed jacket. I must insist that you remove it at once.

Oh at once my teacher. Will you keep the earring and the necklace and the rosebud and the Snoopy mobile phone toy ?

Ommmmmmmmm!