Hardly Seems Like Philosophy

Kobo couldn't believe Constantine Constantius. He advised his young friend to pretend he had another girlfriend on the side! But the young man couldn't face pretending to be guilty of deception when he was innocent. Instead, he decided to run away. Luckily for everyone, the original girlfriend in the meantime had got married to somebody else.

Hoorah! said Kobo. That is what I would have done. But this hardly seems like philosophy. It's more like a novel.

........

The lecture was finished.

Did you enjoy it? asked Mr Lee.

No, said Ageless. I'm worried now, about the warming of the Southern Ocean. I don't like to think of the shells of my fellow creatures being softened due to rising ocean temperatures.

Why would you care? said Lavender. I wouldn't care.

You ought to care, Lavender, said Baby Pierre. Imagine if your shell had been soft. You wouldn't have made an impression in your stone. You would have just decomposed.

So I wouldn't care, said Lavender. Because I wouldn't be here.

You aren't here anyway, said Baby Pierre. You're always telling us you're just empty space.

I am empty space, said Lavender, but I do have a shape.

Well, you wouldn't have had a shape, said Baby Pierre. If your shell was too soft.

I'd still be me, said Lavender.

No you wouldn't, said Baby Pierre. You'd be nothing.

Then I wouldn't care about others! said Lavender.

You should care about others, said Ageless. Then they'll care about you.

You're soppy, said Lavender. No one cares about me.

That's true, said Baby Pierre.

Well, said Mr Lee. I cared enough about her to want to keep her as a specimen.

Perhaps you're my daddy, said Lavender.