Two Breakfasts And A Dog

Sweezus! Are you KIDDING! says Emma. We KNOW him!

What's this nonsense? says mum.

We played Paintball with him once at Professor Freud's, says Irma. You wouldn't know him, mum. How come you know him, Arthur?

We rode together in the Tour de France, says Arthur.

Wow! says Emma. Did you guys both take drugs?

No, says Arthur. No one in our team had any.

But you wouldn't have if you had, says dad.

We would have if we had, says Arthur. But we hadn't so we couldn't.

Emma giggles.

Irma giggles too.

Sweezus was a wimp, says Emma. Remember how he had a toothache. We had to give him mushy Weetbix for his breakfast. And he had that fight with Professor Freud about the splatter rule, and then he got disqualified.

Yeah, says Irma, it was HIL-AR-I-OUS!

Mum is concerned to learn that her daughters have been serving strange men breakfast. She looks at dad. But dad is paying attention to the road.

Arthur is astonished to learn that Sweezus is a wimp, and bad at Paintball. The man he rode with in the Tour de France was not like that.

Perhaps it wasn't him, says Arthur. There must be lots of men called Sweezus. The one who was my team mate has a dog called Farky.

That's absolutely him, says Irma.

..............

Back in the Wadlata Outback Centre, Gaius and Gustave have spent a pleasant afternoon together tapping out Morse Code, pretending to be Flying Doctors and going down the mines. They have examined the models of the Ediacaran fossils and learned the Dreamtime story of Akurra the Giant Snake, who formed the springs and waterholes and gorges of the Flinders Ranges as he dragged his bloated belly home.

Now they are having coffee in the Outback Tuckerbox.

How long are you in Port Augusta, Gustave? asks Gaius. And tell me why you're here.

I'm gathering material for a novel, says Gustave. You know my style. Realism. I want it to be gritty.

I could tell you a story, says Gaius. This morning Arthur and I were locked inside a walk-in pantry by a local chap who'd invited us to breakfast.

That's just the sort of thing that never happens to me, says Gustave. My life is dull, dull, dull.

Stick with me, says Gaius. I think he's coming back.