The Best Philosophers Fly

So, Sweezus is in the back seat with Lauren, and the back pack. Nietzsche is in the front with Surfing-With-Whales.

It's a forty five minute drive to Port Noarlunga.

Nietzsche starts scribbling again, on the tissue.

Don't let me put you off, says Surfing-with-Whales. But tissues make really crap paper.

Sweezus sniggers. Crap paper. Tissues. Tissues make really crap paper. Good one bro!

Why, what's he doing? asks Lauren. Is he writing?

Yep, says Surfing-With-Whales. Stuff about pessimism and thinking it through to the depths.

Oh dear, thinks Lauren. The sooner we get home and I start those pizzas the better.

She leans forward. Are you okay, Friedy?

Perfectly, says Nietzsche. Just writing down a few thoughts.

That's awesome, says Sweezus. Just a quick question. Any bicycles in it?

No, says Nietzsche surprised. I'm about to condemn Buddhism.

Are you? says Lauren. I always though it was lovely. Don't tread on ants. I try not to.

It is the most world-denying of all possible ways of thinking, says Nietzsche.

In your humble opinion, says Surfing-With-Whales.

Nietzsche ignores him. He does not have, nor has he ever had, a humble opinion.

Because, says Sweezus, I reckon I might've forgotten to tell you this but.... it kind of..... has to have bicycles in it.

What does? asks Nietzsche.

What you're writing, says Sweezus. Article for Velosophy you promised.

Oh THAT, says Nietzsche. This isn't it. Bicycles, you say?

Did someone mention bicycles? pipes up the Catcher.

No, says the Elegant Parrot. I didn't.

Yes, says Ageless. Philosophy, and that goes with bicycles.

Oh yes of course, says the Elegant Parrot. All the best philosophers flew about on bicycles. Faster to reach their home bases.

Don't talk to me about bicycles, says the Catcher. I nearly died pedalling.

That was different, says Ageless. It was pedalling. There was NO BIKE.

The heron didn't know that, says the Catcher.

Back to first principles! says Ageless.

Speaking of which, says the Elegant Parrot. Do they make pizza with bird seed topping?

Lauren has overheard the question.

Do you like figs? asks Lauren. Figs have little seeds in.

I might, says the Elegant Parrot.

Are we having Fig Pizza, mum? asks Surfing-With-Whales. The one with prosciutto and chilli jam?

Yes dear, says Lauren. I made new chilli jam last Friday.

Everyone in the van falls into a delightful pizzerian reverie.