The Voice In Your Head Has A Point

Lauren races back to the surf van, followed by Nietzsche.

Get in, Friedrich, says Lauren.

Where are we going? asks Nietzsche.

He hopes the Platonic Ideal will be safe. Did he put the lock on?

Goolwa Wharf, says Lauren. I think the cruise leaves at one. If we hurry, we'll catch them!

Nietzsche tries to keep calm. What about Sweezus? Was he cramping? What about Surfing-With-Whales? It's his van. All his equipment.... Shouldn't we......

NO. THIS IS BEYOND GOOD AND EVIL. TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE, FRIEDY!

(the voice in his head has a point there)

They arrive at the Wharf. Yes! A long queue of people wearing hats and sunnies, carrying bags and binoculars, cameras, extra jumpers, waiting to board the Spirit of the Coorong.

Lauren marches up to the head of the queue.

Good afternoon, madam, says Captain Bain. May I ask why you're jumping the queue?

A woman's voice calls out behind her.

Lauren Swales! What are you doing here? Are you cruising?

Mrs Whales! chorus twin voices.

(Ahem. Warning. A coincidence is about to happen).

It's Emma and Irma, the twins, with their mum and dad, Reg and Edith, going on the Coorong Discovery Cruise, one last treat before the school holidays are over.

Oh Edith, hello! says Lauren. How lovely to see you. No, we're not booked on the cruise. This is Friedrich Nietzsche. He's writing a new thing about.....what is it Friedrich?... ha ha, yes.....good and evil.

Beyond good and evil, says Nietzsche.

Nitcher! says Irma. We did you in school!

Don't say 'we did you', Irma, says Edith. Sorry about that, Mr Nitcher.

It's quite all right, says Nietzsche.

Would you mind moving out of the way, says Captain Bain. We're about to begin embarkation. Unless of course, you're planning on coming. We have a few places available...

No, we're not coming, says Lauren. We've lost Ageless lobster and a crab called the Catcher.

We have them! says Emma. They wanted to come. The Catcher's heaps funny. He's the world's biggest bullshitter. He reckons....

Emma! says Edith. Bullshitter?

.....he once caught a whale, finishes Emma.

Where is he? asks Lauren.

In there with Ageless, says Irma, pointing to her Hello Kitty backpack. They're both moulting. They stink. I'm going to need a new backpack before I go back to school, aren't I mum?

Yes dear, says Edith. Lauren, why don't you and Mr Nitcher join us? Have you visited the Coorong before, Mr Nitcher?

No, I haven't, says Nietzsche.

Well then? says Edith.

Well then, says Captain Bain. That's ninety five dollars each, unless he's a senior.

Humph! Nietzsche is in his late forties. He is no senior. He will pay the full price, thank you.

A healthy lunch is included, says Captain Bain, pocketing the money. Plus afternoon tea, and a guided tour with informative commentary and the usual banter.

The usual banter. Nietzsche does not enjoy banter. But it's probably too late now to ask for his money back.

He walks up the gangplank, carefully, like a man on a tightrope.