Come Off! Come Off!

Nietzsche is keen to get started. But he doesn't have a pen.

Neither does Lauren.

Never mind. That won't stop Nietzsche.

I'll speak my thoughts, says Nietzsche. You listen. And if you understand what I'm saying, just nod.

Go ahead, says Lauren, her eye on the surfers.

I favour an affirmative approach to philosophy, says Nietzsche.

Lauren nods. Sweezus has made it out to the main group of surfers. So far so good.

The old philosophy traditions of knowledge, truth and free will are inventions, says Nietzsche.

Lauren nods vaguely. Sweezus is standing. No! He's moving in on another dude's wave!

The new philosopher must go beyond good and evil, says Nietzsche.

Oh dear, says Lauren. He shouldn't do that.

Just nod or don't nod, says Nietzsche. I don't need your opinion.

Lauren nods. Sweezus has come off his board. Just as well. There's a protocol.

The thing is, says Nietzsche, I need some sort of hook.

Lauren nods. He needs a hook. What's he talking about?

You look puzzled, says Nietzsche.

He's come off, says Lauren. I hope he's not cramping.

Come off! Come off! What does that mean? Like the tightrope walker? Like the Catcher, attempting to change his identity! Yes, the Catcher!

Thank you, Lauren, says Nietzsche. You've been wonderfully helpful. I have my hook. It's the Catcher.

The Catcher? says Lauren. Good heavens! We've left him up there in the café with Ageless. A disabled crab and a half blind lobster. Anything might happen!

What? asks Nietzsche.

In the CAFE! says Lauren.

She gets up and runs through the sand to the ramp leading up to the café.

She is magnificent! Nietzsche follows behind.

Café Bombora is full. But Ageless and the Catcher are no longer in it.

Lauren runs up to the counter.

A crab and a lobster? says the barista. I don't remember. I'll ask round the back.

The cook comes out.

This looks dire. The cook may have cooked them.

Don't tell me you've cooked them, says Lauren.

What sort of cook do you think I am? says the cook. I have my morality.

Nietzsche wonders how it works, his morality. Is it because they came in the front door and sat at a table? Or is it that they were imperfect? Foolish man. Why wouldn't he cook them?

He will never know.

Because the cook has news of the whereabouts of Ageless and the Catcher.

The cook: They went off with a really nice family. Mum and dad and two kiddies.

Lauren: Crikey! Where did they go?

The cook: I think they were going on one of those Spirit of the Coorong Cruises. One of the top things to do in Goolwa. Pricey though.

Lauren: I've heard of them. Thanks a million! Come on, Friedrich!

She dashes out of the Café Bombora, followed at a short distance by Friedrich Nietzsche, who still has his surf rash, and can't go all that quickly.