The Universe Is Not Balanced

The Catcher draws Ageless aside.

I'd appreciate it if you'd keep mum, says the Catcher. My new identity....

Of course! cries Ageless, slapping the back of the Catcher. Not a word! New identity eh? How's it going?

Not bad, says the Catcher. It's just....the diet. My first catch was a parrot. I threw up immediately.

Chew slowly, says Ageless. That's my advice. What's next on the agenda?

Whales, says the Catcher. We're going to Goolwa.

You may have bitten off more than you can chew, says Ageless. Ha ha. Did you get that, old buddy? Bitten off  more.....hee hee. I must tell Kobo.

He scuttles away.

So, you know Ageless, says Gaius.

No, says the Catcher.

We all heard what you were saying, says Sweezus. We know you know Ageless.

All right, says the Catcher. But not very well.

Perhaps you should get to know him better, says Nietzsche. He gave good advice. Chew slowly.

Is that what you do? asks Sweezus.

Yes, says Nietzsche. Don't you?

Never thought about it, says Sweezus. What's the point of chewing slowly? Food turns to mush.

The digestion, says Gaius. One must always take care of one's digestion.

Exactly, says Nietzsche. I only drink water.

You had a long macchiato, says Sweezus.

Coffee spreads darkness, says Nietzsche. And I feel dark now. I USUALLY only drink water.

He grimaces, like a man about to have an eternal recurrence.

Very wise, says Gaius. Would you like a cup of tea, or shall I show you the bicycle?

Show me the bicycle, says Nietzsche.

They go out to the shed, where the Platonic Ideal is currently leading a spider-related existence.

Gaius flicks a few webs off the saddle. They stick to his fingers.

Try it, says Gaius.

Nietzsche gets on. Wobbles around the garden. Falls off.

This proves the Will is devoid of rationality and intellect, says Nietzsche.

Get back on, says Sweezus. You need to get your balance or you'll never make it to Goolwa.

Nietzsche gets back on.

The bicycle ( built expressly for Schopenhauer, at the Treadly Bike Shop) recognises a kindred spirit.

Nietzsche rides around the garden as though he has been riding a bicycle all his life.

Cool performance! says Sweezus.

At its core the universe is not a rational place, we need to minimise our desires in order to achieve a tranquil state of mind, says Nietzsche.

Just what Schopenhauer used to say......ahem....by the way, I should warn you...... says Gaius.

But he is interrupted by a fracas in the kitchen.

He runs back inside.