Two Reasons For Withholding Water

Gaius, Arthur and Daniel O'Connell, the Liberator, (in his bottle), have now reached the top of the shaft, where Proust and Albertine are waiting.

Gaius hands the bottle to Albertine, and clambers out, followed by Arthur.

Arthur, says Albertine. You survived! What are your knees like?

Pretty putrid, says Arthur.

That is not surprising, says Gaius. All that bacteria.....when we get back to the field centre, if you'll allow me, I'll take a swab.

That may be too late, says Albertine. Has anyone got any water?

Proust imagines himself producing a small canteen of fresh water, which would impress Albertine, but when he further imagines her gently wiping Arthur's putrid knees as her dark hair falls forward and softly tickles Arthur's dirty bare legs on which are even now drying bacterial strands and tiny dying crustaceans which no doubt she will spot with that sharp eyesight she is so proud of..... the idea becomes hateful to him, and he is pleased when he remembers he has not, in fact, brought any water.

Me! cries Daniel O'Connell.

The lid of his bottle is off.  ( It is in Arthur's pocket).

Did you hear that? says Gaius.

What? asks Arthur, whose ears are partly blocked from his dunking.

It came from Daniel the spider, says Albertine. He said something that sounded like ME!

Arthur, where is my pencil! cries Gaius.

I gave it to you, says Arthur.

So you did, says Gaius. Where is it... ah! By the way, Marcel, here is your mechanical arm. And I might tell you, Arthur found it quite useful.

He thrusts it at Proust.

Albertine looks surprised.

Proust is not happy.

Gaius is now looking for paper.

No paper! Then I shall have to enlist everyone's memory. The spider has spoken. Are we all agreed he said CHEESE ?

He said ME , says Albertine. Or something like it.

Something like it, says Gaius. What vowel did you hear?

EE, says Albertine.

Then I put it to you, says Gaius, that he must have said CHEESE. It is the only word he is capable of saying.

Okay, says Albertine. Cheese then. It's all the same to me.

Only Daniel the spider knows that he said ME and not cheese this time ( Proust wasn't listening).

He said it because he thought that he had some water.

He was going to offer it.

He, Daniel O'Connell the Liberator, was going to offer his water.

But in the meantime he has remembered that Gaius tipped out the water, after the incident.

So there is no water.

And it was the wrong sort of water, in any case, come to think of it.

Daniel is glad. Eating those water scorpions was the best thing he's done in a long time.