Wild Dogs And Pot Holes

Trains run between Bucharest and Constanta five times daily.

So it is easy to catch one.

Proust, Gaius and Arthur are on the train, speeding towards the beautiful town of Constanta.

Of course, says Proust, at this time of year Constanta will be overrun with tourists.

That need not concern us, says Gaius. Our task will be to locate the Morvine Cave, then gain access.

Yes, says Proust, you are right. We need not waste time in Constanta.

Have you been to Constanta before? asks Arthur.

No, says Proust, but I have spent a great deal of time at home in my apartment, after dinner, under a blanket, with no external distractions, reading about Constanta, knowing I was to come here.

What's it like? asks Arthur.

It was founded by the Greeks as a colony, almost two thousand six hundred years ago, says Proust. At that time it was called Tomis.

Tomis! says Gaius. Well I never! I believe know something of Tomis.

No doubt it has changed since it was known as Tomis, says Proust.

One might hope so, says Gaius. There were deep holes everywhere, and wild dogs. I know this from the works of Ovid. He was exiled in Tomis.

Well, says Proust. There are still feral dogs there. And holes in the footpath, which one must watch out for.

And Proust laughs, a little too loudly, in order to show that while it is amusing, he does not wish to disguise the fact that he is annoyed Gaius has stolen his thunder, by knowing about Ovid.

The train arrives in Constanta.

Arthur, says Gaius. Make yourself useful and find out where this cave is, and where to hire bicycles.

I know where the cave is, says Proust. But bicycles would be useful. Pay attention to the saddle on mine.

Arthur nods sagely. If he was bothering to record anything Proust has said so far, it might be this revealing instruction.

He finds the information desk inside the station.

Can I help you? asks Gabi.

I need three bicycles, says Arthur.

You can hire them for free over there, says Gabi. All you need is ID or a passport. Two hours free, with an option to extend for another two hours.

Thanks, says Arthur. And what's there to do here?

What do you like doing? asks Gabi. There's a statue of Ovid, if you like looking at statues......

I know about Ovid. He was exiled here, says Arthur. He didn't enjoy it.

Terrible holes in the footpaths, says Gabi. And feral dogs everywhere. Just like today.

What do I do if I meet one? asks Arthur.

( He knows perfectly well. But he likes talking to Gabi).

Pretend you're picking up a rock, says Gabi.

Just pretend? says Arthur.

We encourage it, says Gabi. It's how we got all the holes in the footpath, people picking up rocks. The dogs don't know the difference.

Okay, says Arthur. And what else is there to do here?

You could visit Mamaia resort, just north east of Constanta, says Gabi. It's very popular. It has pure white sand, the only pure white sand in Europe.

I might not have time, says Arthur. I'm going cave diving.

Awesome! Where? asks Gabi. The Morvine? Are you with... that guy who...the one who....?

Umm...yes, says Arthur.

Good luck then, says Gabi. I heard they tested the water for chemicals from the fallout at Chernobyl. Can't remember if they found any. So, best keep your mouth closed.

Thanks, says Arthur, heading off to organise the bike rentals.

He rejoins Proust and Gaius on the footpath, where a minor disaster is unfolding.

A mangy dog is baring its fangs at Proust, and snarling.

Gaius is searching the footpath for a genuine stone.

He is unable to find one.