Stage Twelve: Pau to Peyragudes - Yellow

The teams stream out of Pau.

Belle spots Ageless, watching.

How's Team Claw going? asks Belle.

Third Sister is nothing but trouble, says Ageless. Always complaining.

She has a right to, says Belle. You haven't organised anything. No proper feed bags, and the Vantablack paint lets too much wind through.

Did she say that? asks Ageless.

Yes, says Belle. Luckily her brother is feeding her now that he's out of the suitcase. As for the paint, that's your problem.

Okay, sighs Ageless. I'll get someone onto it.

Someone? says Belle.

Someone, says Ageless. But I don't know what they can do. That stuff's expensive.

Belle heads off to buy the team snacks for today.

It will be a hard ride, with four climbs in the Pyrenees. The teams will need to eat constantly.

Pyrenean Ossau-Iraty cheese with black cherry jam should go down well, and some pastries.

.....

On the Col des Ares:

Team Philosophe is enjoying the challenge.

This is more like it, says David. I feel something might happen.

A change in the placings, says Vello. I feel it too.

Got a tissue? asks Jacobi. This cherry jam is getting all over my hand grips.

.....

On the Col de Mente:

Sweezus: I don't like this cheese.

Arthur: Is it cheese? I thought it was pastry.

Sweezus: Pastry? Let's see!

Arthur shows him the pastry.

Sweezus: That's one of those merveilles fritters. Wanna swap for the cheese?

Arthur: Okay. But I've eaten half. Wait a minute. Here's a coucougnette. Want that?

Gaius: What on earth is a coucougnette?

Sweezus: Its like, a chocolate coated hazelnut wrapped in almond paste.

Gaius: A plain nut would suffice. Why do the French always.....?

......

On the Col de Balès:

Baby Pierre: Where's Third Sister?

Ouvert: Up ahead. I hope she stacks it.

Baby Pierre: Shut up. She's the fastest.

Ouvert: Only when she gets food.

Baby Pierre: That's not her fault. What did Tiny give her?

Ouvert: Another strawberry. Did you see Terence? He can spin plates.

Baby Pierre: I wish I could.

Ouvert: I can.

Baby Pierre: You can't. Shut up and pedal.

....

On the Col de Peyresourde:

Vello: Did you see what happened?

Jacobi: No. I was thinking of Spinoza.

David: Nothing bad I trust?

Jacobi: That charlatan is the very devil!

Vello: Nieve, Froome and Aru went off the road at the bottom!

David: Is that them out of the race?

Vello: No, here they come now. Hmm. Bad luck eh?

David: Tch!

But really, this is no time for schadenfreude or its opposite .

This race is so bleeping hard.

Even Froomey is flagging.

Aru gives it his all.

He passes Froomey.

Then he is passed by Romain Bardet who wins Stage Twelve. Well done, Romain Bardet!

But Aru has pipped Froomey, and the yellow jersey is his for today.