The teams ride out of Embrun.
Crowds cheering, flags waving, horns tooting.
A bridge, a flat grey road to follow.
And dark thoughts to contend with.
Arthur: What's up now?
Sweezus: I'll NEVER get King of the Mountain.
Arthur: Go for something else.
Sweezus: A stage win. Yeah right.
Arthur: No, I've still got that Vantablack paint I'm minding for Ageless.
Sweezus: Minding?
Arthur: Okay, He doesn't know I've got it.
Sweezus: That would be great if it worked. But it does jackshit for Team Claw.
Arthur: They might be using it wrong. What would Ageless know about tactics?
Sweezus: What d'you reckon?
Arthur: If we splattered the bikes of Team Sky.
Sweezus: That would freak them out. Yeah.
Arthur: We just have to catch them.
Sweezus: Good try, buddy.
Arthur: Maybe tomorrow.
Sweezus: Yeah, at the time trials. Fat chance.
Arthur: Or the next day. In Paris.
Sweezus: Too friggin' late then.
Arthur: But we'll be in Paris.
Sweezus: True. Cool. Macarons!
Sweezus speeds up a little.
Macarons are his favourite.
Not everyone has team mates as supportive as Arthur.
Team Claw is struggling. It has been a long way.
The Vantablack paint isn't working.
Third Sister seems to be riding for herself.
Ouvert is using both mouths, contra instructions.
Here is just an example:
Ouvert: Woop-woop! Coming through! Coming through!
Baby Pierre: Stop saying everything twice.
Ouvert: Okay. Okay.
Baby Pierre: Where's Third Sister? I want her to lead me out in a minute.
Ouvert: Stopped for a nature break. Stopped....
Baby Pierre: Shut up! I heard you.
Ouvert: ...for a pipi!
.......
Vello, David and Jacobi are not doing too badly.
They ride doggedly on.
Ever been to Salon-de-Provence? asks David.
Can't say I have, says Jacobi.
Nice sausages, says Vello. Tolerable paella. Excellent mushrooms.
Speaking of which, says David.
Oh yes, says Vello. The Fontaine Moussue. You'll like the fountain.
I thought we were speaking of mushrooms, says Jacobi.
It's sometimes hard to keep up with the quicksilver intellects of David and Vello.
Hee hee, laughs Vello.
Ha ha, laughs David.
They are both remembering the funny shape of the fountain.
It looks like some sort of mushroom, with its limestone concretions and maidenhair vegetation.
They explain this to Jacobi.
Ah, yes. They would all like to be in Salon-de-Provence, relaxing near the fountain.
They speed up.
Not enough to be useful.
Way, way up ahead, Edvald Boassen Hagen and Nikias Arndt are zooming round the right side of a roundabout, while the rest of the peloton is choosing the left side.
The right side is shorter.
Thanks to which Edvald Boassen Hagen , a Norwegian, wins the stage, and Nikias Arndt, a German, comes second, to the chagrin of the Belgians whose national day is today.
Bad luck, the Belgians.
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