Stage Thirteen: Saint-Girons to Foix - Precious

It's Bastille Day.

This is a short stage but brutal.

Alberto Contador has woken up with a bad feeling.

He is drinking a coffee in the Tour Village when Ageless comes by.

Alberto ignores him.

Ageless scrapes the leg of Alberto.

What? snaps Alberto.

Vantablack coating, says Ageless. Ever heard of it? Does it let the wind through?

I've got enough problems says Alberto. I have to win. It's in my nature. What lets the wind through?

A special black paint, says Ageless. Have you seen Third Sister? She was in front of you yesterday.

Third Sister? says Alberto. The plucky little snake with looped legs?

Plucky? says Ageless. I suppose so. The point is, did you feel any extra wind coming through?

Through to me? says Alberto. No I don't think so. I just reached my limits.

Just as I suspected, says Ageless. She was being precious. But wait! So you saw her?

I saw her, says Alberto. She rides low.

Curses, says Ageless. That's another Vantablack problem I hadn't expected. She isn't invisible.

This sounds like attempted cheating, says Alberto. You should be careful.

I'm always careful, says Ageless, sloping off.

Alberto feels better. Others have worse problems than Alberto.

.......

It's such a short stage that it is already nearly finished.

The attackers have attacked from the start.

There have been three Category One climbs.

In the final kilometres there are four riders to contest the stage win, Mikel Landa, Alberto Contador, Nairo Quintana and Warren Barguil.

Terence is standing at the finish with Tiny.

They are waiting to cheer for Third Sister, and spin plates in her honour.

Terence is practising.

Wizz!

Grimaldi and Pickelherring loom up behind him, in their clown outfits.

When you've finished, says Grimaldi. I want my plates back.

Terence spins round and nearly drops the red plate he is spinning.

But it cannot be dropped. They are trick plates attached to bamboo sticks.

Grimaldi does not want anyone to know this.

He places his hands on Terence's shoulders.

Help! cries Terence.

Tiny grabs the bamboo stick from Terence and keeps the plate spinning.

It looks like a proper entertainment.

Some of the crowd become so engrossed in the spinning plate show that they miss the finish.

Warren Barguil wins the stage. A Frenchman! Hourra!

Nairo Quintana comes second. Brillante!

And Alberto Contador comes third, which is bueno but not agreeable for Alberto, who only likes winning.