Half A Number

2B's not a name! says Terence. It's a number.

It was my name, says Holy Ronnie. Only half of it is a number.

It's stupid, says Terence. I'm still calling you Ronnie.

If you want to remain at this vigil, says Saint Roley, show some respect for 2B. Ask him which name he prefers to be known by.

Thank you, says Holy Ronnie. I prefer Holy Ronnie.

As long as you're sure, says Saint Roley.

Why wouldn't I be? asks Holy Ronnie.

Who WAS Ronnie? asks Saint Roley. Don't you think it's important to know?

I know! says Terence. He was a kid who went to Mount Compass School, and he dropped you in the School Swamp.

I have no memory of that boy, says Holy Ronnie.

Then I suggest you continue your silent vigil, says Saint Roley. The memory may surface.

Holy Ronnie is silent.

So is Terence. So are the turnip pieces. 

Saint Roley opens their lid. The stars appear, above them.

You have been weeping, says Saint Roley. That's good. Who's going to tell me the reason?

Me, says Terence. They steamed up and couldn't see anything. Then the house creaked and they were scared.

That is not the reason, says the smallest piece of turnip. We were weeping for the lost parts of ourselves. And also for Holy Ronnie.

Did the house creak? asks Saint Roley.

Yes, says Terence. Maybe it's Gaius. 

He's sleeping in a tent, in the back garden, says Saint Roley.

He might have gone in for a snack or a wee, says Terence. 

Or it might have been Arthur, says the smallest piece of turnip. Maybe he's in love with Louisa.

Not very likely says Saint Roley. But she may be in love with him. Because he's a poet.

I could have been a poet, sighs Holy Ronnie.

If you finished your poem, says the smallest piece of turnip.

Why don't you finish it? asks Saint Roley.

Because I'm distracted, says Holy Ronnie. I'm thinking about the original Ronnie, and my real name, 2B, and about how it's not a name but a number.

Half a number, says Terence.

Nothing wrong with that, says Gaius, emerging at the side of the house (so it wasn't he who was creaking).

That's what I'd like to think, says Holy Ronnie.

Then think away, says Gaius. I'll give you an example. Do you know what my name is?

Gaius, says Terence.

FULL name, says Gaius. Gaius Plinius Secundus. Secundus is a number.

Secundus? It sounds like a name to Holy Ronnie.

He takes little comfort from this.