Parrots Not Tourists

Gaius has departed for Mawson Lakes, to buy apples.

Camus is adding to the map of Tasmania, which he has drawn in the sand.

This, says Camus, is Melbourne. You start off from here.

But we aren't in Melbourne, says the first orange-bellied parrot.

No, says Camus. First you have to get there.

But you said start off from Mebourne, says the second orange-bellied parrot.

I'm trying to keep it simple, says Camus.

Like the Virgin, says Terence.

Who? says Camus.

Watching Saint Joseph chase me with a hammer, says Terence.

What's that got to do with keeping it simple? asks Camus.

She didn't do anything, says Terence. And I got whacked. But she isn't my mother.

Camus is in two minds. Should he pursue this? Why isn't the Virgin his mother? Wasn't it Saint Joseph who wasn't his father? And does it matter?

He decides that it doesn't. 

These little parrots need a map, and he will provide one. He draws a line out from Melbourne.

It occurs to him that his map may not be oriented properly. The little parrots must not set off in the wrong direction due to his error. Merde! Which way is east in this country?

He consults Gaius's map which lies on the sand with a stone on top, to stop it from blowing away.

Here comes Waca, says Terence. And Roo-kai. 

Good! says Camus. I need to ask Roo-kai something.

Ask away, says Roo-kai.

If you were  flying to Melbourne, says Camus, which way would you go?

Why is this relevant? asks Roo-kai.

For these parrots, says Camus. I'm showing them the way to Melbourne from here. Then the way to Tasmania.

They're parrots, not tourists says Roo-kai. They fly directly.

He points to a blue line on Gaius's map. 

See. This is their flight path.

Camus is clearly no expert on birds.

He looks somwhat dejected.

Never mind, says Roo-kai. You weren't to know.

Cheer up and sing us a song, mother, says the first orange-bellied parrot.

Camus tries to think of a song. Ah oui! This one:

Alouette, gentil alouette/ allouette, je te plumerai.....( he sings )

Luckily the orange-bellied parrots don't understand French.