Free Will Or Willy

Do we stand or sit for this dinner? asks Gaius.

Squat, says Vello. All the seats will be broken.

Then this desk is too high, says Denis.

All right, stand, says Vello. Now, action! Start weeping.

What's weeping? asks Terence.

Crying, says Hedley. Who doesn't know that?

Just checking, says Terence.

I'm not weeping, am I? asks Gaius.

Of course not, says Vello. Just say your lines.

Cheer up. Things could hardly be otherwise, says Gaius. The devastation is a manifestation of the rightness of things. Therefore all this has been for the best.

Belle turns to Gaius. 

It appears, sir, that you don't believe in original sin. For if all is for the best there can be no such thing as eternal punishment, says Belle.

I beg your pardon, excellency, says Gaius, but the fall of man and eternal punishment are of necessity part of the scheme of things.

I take it you don't believe in Free Will? asks Belle

Free Willy, says Terence.

Hedley giggles.

Hedley's mother frowns at Hedley.

Don't say Free Willy next time, says Vello. Just pour Belle a glass of port wine.

But she hasn't nodded, says Terence.

This is where timing comes in, says Vello. Start pouring the pretend wine into a pretend glass while watching for Belle's signal.

What if I spill it? asks Terence.

You can't spill pretend wine, says Vello. 

I could pretend to spill it, says Terence.

Don't do that, says Vello. Cue Gaius!

Your excellency, says Gaius. Free Will is consistent with Absolute Necessity, for it was ordained that we should be free.....

Belle nods at Terence.

Terence stops pouring pretend wine. 

Now you seize Dr Pangloss with your mechanical grabber, says Vello.

Terence doesn't have a mechanical grabber. Belle has not looked for it yet.

Too bad. He will seize Gaius with a pretend mechanical grabber.

Ouch! says Gaius.

Sorry, says Terence. 

What happened there? asks Vello.

Terence's bird claw, says Gaius. It's quite sharp.

Not everything is all for the best, says Denis.

That's the POINT, Denis, says Vello.

Terence is pleased. 

He has done something right.