Twenty Tickets

How many tickets have we sold so far? asks Vello.

Twenty, says Sweezus.

Go out and buy twenty umbrellas and twenty torches, says Vello. And keep the receipts. Use my bankcard

Sure boss, says Sweezus.

Here it is, says Vello.

Sweezus goes out.

Where will he find twenty umbrellas and twenty torches?

No idea. He calls Arthur.

What is it? says Arthur.

I need twenty umbrellas and twenty torches, says Sweezus.

What for? asks Arthur.

The audience tonight. It's supposed to be raining, says Sweezus.

Try Bunnings, says Arthur. They'll have torches.

What about umbrellas, says Sweezus.

Don't know, says Arthur. Try asking Katherine. Old women know all about umbrellas.

Yeah, says Sweezus. Good thinking. She's probably got plenty.

I'll come to Bunnings with you, says Arthur. I want to buy some seeds.

Seeds, as in SEEDS? says Sweezus.

Ones that'll grow into flowers, says Arthur. In a packet with a colourful picture.

You have to take them out of the packet, bro, says Sweezus.

I know that, says Arthur. Meet you at Bunnings.

Later, at Bunnings.

Sweezus has collected twenty torches in a basket, and brought them to the checkout.

Arthur has added twenty packets of seeds.

Having a gardening-by-torchlight party? asks the checkout person.

Nah, says Sweezus. We're doing a Fringe Show tonight and it might be raining.

Outdoor venue? asks the checkout person. 

Yeah, says Sweezus.

What's the show? asks the checkout person.

Candide, an excerpt, says Sweezus. 

Thought I recognised you! says the checkout person. You play Candide.

Not this year, says Sweezus. 

The checkout person looks at Arthur.

Not me, says Arthur. I'm the sailor.

Costa! says the checkout person. you played Costa, the gardener.

Yes I did, once, says Arthur.

So that's why you want all these seeds, says the checkout person.

Just in case people ask, says Arthur. 

Get a move on! says the next person in the queue. Some of us don't have all day.

The checkout person points to the sign that says aggression won't be tolerated in Bunnings.

These guys are in a Fringe show! says the checkout person.

No kidding, says the next person in the queue. What show is it?

Candide, says Sweezus. Everyone gets a free torch.

And a free umbrella, says Arthur.

And free seeds, says the checkout person.

Free stuff at a Fringe show!

Word is passed down the queue.