Belle et Bonne and Simone de Beauvoir are cycling behind the peloton on the road from Chambery to Gap. The previous night was hot and they are feeling quite fatigued.
Simone de Beauvoir: Oh, I am feeling quite fatigued!
Belle et Bonne: Me too. Let's slow down. It's not as if we are competing.
Simone de Beauvoir: I hope that one of the French riders wins today. It's Bastille Day, you know.
Belle et Bonne: As if I could forget. Papa and Uncle David were going on about it all through breakfast. They insisted on having croissants even though croissants are a most unsuitable breakfast for a race day.
Simone de Beauvoir: Ahh. They are great champions of freedom, your papa and your uncle.
Belle et Bonne: He's not my uncle.
Simone de Beavoir: I keep forgetting. What do they think of France's decision to ban the burqa?
Belle et Bonne: They think it is hilarious. Papa says why go to the trouble of banning something hardly anybody wears. And Uncle David says he hopes more ladies start to wear them so that it will have been worthwhile bringing in the law.
Simone de Beauvoir: It is all very well for men to make a joke of it. But it is a serious question when different freedoms are pitted against one another. I wonder what Diderot would have said on the matter.
Belle et Bonne: Diderot?
Simone de Beauvoir: Yes, I'm reading his very curious book, The Nun, at the moment. It is about a beautiful young woman who is forced into a convent by her family. She suffers all manner of indignities there.
Belle et Bonne: Ooh! What kind of indignities?
Simone de Beauvoir: Jealousy, sadistic cruelty, lesbian advances.....in fact I'm not sure whether it's meant to be more titillating than instructive.
Belle et Bonne: I should like to read it after you. Diderot, you say? I'm sure papa knows him.
Simone de Beauvoir: He certainly does. Your papa contributed many articles to his famous Encyclopedie!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Out of Sight
At the end of Stage Nine in the Tour de France, Team Philosophe is nursing its wounds.
The VeloDrone: That Col de la Madeleine has just about finished me off! Oh my legs and shoulders!
Le Bon David: Where's Simone? I need some of her embrocation!
Simone de Beauvoir: Here I am. Sit down and I'll rub it in for you. Where does it hurt?
Le Bon David: Would you mind if I did it myself? Here let me just stick my finger in. Ahh, that's better.
Jean Paul Sartre: Ohh! I'm next! And you can rub it in, Simone.
Belle et Bonne: At least you are all in one piece! Have you heard what has happened to Cadel Evans? He was riding all day with a fracture! He has lost his yellow jersey and, at the finish, he wept in despair.
Le Bon David: So that was the reason for the blue strapping on his elbow.
Belle et Bonne: Yes. Underneath that blue strapping was something no one could see. That reminds me, Uncle David. Have you come up with an answer to Simone's question yet?
Jean Paul Sartre: I bet he hasn't.
The VeloDrone: I bet he has.
Le Bon David: It's a curly one. Do colours exist in the absence of light? No, only when the light is on. But there are exceptions.
Simone de Beauvoir: Oh? And what are they?
Le Bon David: Certain objects are hot enough to emit light of their own.
Belle et Bonne: Oh bravo, Uncle David! You see, Simone?
The VeloDrone: That Col de la Madeleine has just about finished me off! Oh my legs and shoulders!
Le Bon David: Where's Simone? I need some of her embrocation!
Simone de Beauvoir: Here I am. Sit down and I'll rub it in for you. Where does it hurt?
Le Bon David: Would you mind if I did it myself? Here let me just stick my finger in. Ahh, that's better.
Jean Paul Sartre: Ohh! I'm next! And you can rub it in, Simone.
Belle et Bonne: At least you are all in one piece! Have you heard what has happened to Cadel Evans? He was riding all day with a fracture! He has lost his yellow jersey and, at the finish, he wept in despair.
Le Bon David: So that was the reason for the blue strapping on his elbow.
Belle et Bonne: Yes. Underneath that blue strapping was something no one could see. That reminds me, Uncle David. Have you come up with an answer to Simone's question yet?
Jean Paul Sartre: I bet he hasn't.
The VeloDrone: I bet he has.
Le Bon David: It's a curly one. Do colours exist in the absence of light? No, only when the light is on. But there are exceptions.
Simone de Beauvoir: Oh? And what are they?
Le Bon David: Certain objects are hot enough to emit light of their own.
Belle et Bonne: Oh bravo, Uncle David! You see, Simone?
Monday, July 12, 2010
The Long Lunch
Our friends are enjoying their rest day in Morzine-Avoriaz. They are having a picnic of bread and cheese and berries in a sweet-smelling meadow overlooking a spectacular valley.
Jean Paul Sartre: Pass the cheese, please, Simone, ma cherie.
Simone de Beauvoir ( passing the cheese): Don't eat too much of it, mon petit. You will get heartburn.
The VeloDrone: Oh let him eat what he likes today. It's a holiday. Pass it to me when you're done with it, Jean Paul.
Belle et Bonne: It isn't a holiday papa, it's a rest day. You are supposed to be gathering your strength for the climb up the Col de la Madeleine tomorrow.
Le Bon David: Groan!!
Belle et Bonne: What's the matter, Uncle David?
Le Bon David: I am too old for this. I ache all over. This may be my last Tour de France. If philosophy teaches one how to live, then I have learned nothing.
Belle et Bonne: Don't be sad Uncle David. You are one of the most famous philosophers in the whole world. I'm sure you will figure out how to live quite soon. Let me in the meantime ask you the philosophical question I was going to ask you yesterday.
Simone de Beauvoir: Yes, ask him. I too will be interested in the answer.
Belle et Bonne: Yes, she will. It's really her question.
Le Bon David; Well. what is it then?
Belle et Bonne: Simone has to wear something blue to a party.
Simone de Beauvoir: I thought we weren't going to frame the question in that way!
Belle et Bonne: Oops! Sorry. I meant, Uncle David, do you think that colour can exist in the absence of light?
Le Bon David: I say! This isn't going to be a question about her undergarments, is it?
Jean Paul Sartre: Pass the cheese, please, Simone, ma cherie.
Simone de Beauvoir ( passing the cheese): Don't eat too much of it, mon petit. You will get heartburn.
The VeloDrone: Oh let him eat what he likes today. It's a holiday. Pass it to me when you're done with it, Jean Paul.
Belle et Bonne: It isn't a holiday papa, it's a rest day. You are supposed to be gathering your strength for the climb up the Col de la Madeleine tomorrow.
Le Bon David: Groan!!
Belle et Bonne: What's the matter, Uncle David?
Le Bon David: I am too old for this. I ache all over. This may be my last Tour de France. If philosophy teaches one how to live, then I have learned nothing.
Belle et Bonne: Don't be sad Uncle David. You are one of the most famous philosophers in the whole world. I'm sure you will figure out how to live quite soon. Let me in the meantime ask you the philosophical question I was going to ask you yesterday.
Simone de Beauvoir: Yes, ask him. I too will be interested in the answer.
Belle et Bonne: Yes, she will. It's really her question.
Le Bon David; Well. what is it then?
Belle et Bonne: Simone has to wear something blue to a party.
Simone de Beauvoir: I thought we weren't going to frame the question in that way!
Belle et Bonne: Oops! Sorry. I meant, Uncle David, do you think that colour can exist in the absence of light?
Le Bon David: I say! This isn't going to be a question about her undergarments, is it?
Sunday, July 11, 2010
The Colour Question
The women sped up. They intended to catch up with Le Bon David and ask him his opinion on the colour question. As they pedalled they discussed how they might frame the question so as not to discompose the philosopher.
Simone de Beauvoir: It's easy really. The question can be framed thus: Can colour exist in the absence of light?
Belle et Bonne: Why yes! That's what we'll ask him.
It was lucky that the problem was so easily settled, because at that moment they needed to direct their attention towards the riders in front who were involved in a spill.
Simone de Beauvoir: Goodness me! It's Lance Armstrong! He has fallen off his bicycle! That's a piece of luck for Team Philosophe! Hurry up, Belle et Bonne!
They soon caught up with Team Philosophe, who were not as far advanced as Simone and Belle had supposed them to be.
Belle et Bonne: Hello, team! Guess what? Lance Armstrong has fallen off his bicycle!
The VeloDrone (glumly) : So has Cadel Evans, but he has got back on his bicycle and shot past us with his rainbow jersey all in tatters. I won't be surprised if he ends up wearing the yellow jersey at the end of the day.
Jean Paul Sartre: Hello Simone! No wonder you've caught up with us. We're pooped!
Simone de Beauvoir: Courage, mon petit !
Belle et Bonne: Uncle David! I have a philosophical question for you.
Le Bon David: My dear! I have a philosophical question for you too. Is this the time to be asking me a philosophical question, when my legs feel like jellyfish tentacles?
Belle et Bonne: Oh no. I'm so sorry, Uncle David. How thoughtless of me! Tomorrow is a rest day and my question must wait until then.
Simone de Beauvoir: It's easy really. The question can be framed thus: Can colour exist in the absence of light?
Belle et Bonne: Why yes! That's what we'll ask him.
It was lucky that the problem was so easily settled, because at that moment they needed to direct their attention towards the riders in front who were involved in a spill.
Simone de Beauvoir: Goodness me! It's Lance Armstrong! He has fallen off his bicycle! That's a piece of luck for Team Philosophe! Hurry up, Belle et Bonne!
They soon caught up with Team Philosophe, who were not as far advanced as Simone and Belle had supposed them to be.
Belle et Bonne: Hello, team! Guess what? Lance Armstrong has fallen off his bicycle!
The VeloDrone (glumly) : So has Cadel Evans, but he has got back on his bicycle and shot past us with his rainbow jersey all in tatters. I won't be surprised if he ends up wearing the yellow jersey at the end of the day.
Jean Paul Sartre: Hello Simone! No wonder you've caught up with us. We're pooped!
Simone de Beauvoir: Courage, mon petit !
Belle et Bonne: Uncle David! I have a philosophical question for you.
Le Bon David: My dear! I have a philosophical question for you too. Is this the time to be asking me a philosophical question, when my legs feel like jellyfish tentacles?
Belle et Bonne: Oh no. I'm so sorry, Uncle David. How thoughtless of me! Tomorrow is a rest day and my question must wait until then.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Station des Rousses
Belle et Bonne and Simone de Beauvoir are riding slowly up a Category Three hill towards Station des Rousses behind several members of the BBox team.
Simone de Beauvoir ( thoughtfully): That is a lovely shade of blue.
Belle et Bonne: What? The BBox blue?
Simone de Beauvoir: Yes. I have to wear something blue to a party.
Belle et Bonne: Oh what fun. How about the blue of Team Quick Step? That is very pretty. Or the aqua of Team Astana? That's my favourite colour of all.
Simone de Beauvoir: I am only dreaming. I do not have a blue dress. And I do not wish to spend money on a new one that I will wear only once.
Belle et Bonne; Well, have you any underwear that is blue? If someone at the party asks you why you are not wearing blue, you can say, Oh but I am wearing something blue. It is just that you cannot see it.
Simone de Beauvoir: What a clever idea! But this party will be attended by philosophers....
Belle et Bonne: Aha. I think I foresee the problem.
Simone de Beavoir: Yes, a philosopher would question whether something that is underneath one's outer clothing where no light penetrates can be considered to have any colour at all.
Belle et Bonne: It is debatable. It seems to me this is a question for Uncle David.
Simone de Beauvoir: It is indeed. But do you really wish to put it to him?
Belle et Bonne ( turning pink ) : Not unless I can put it to him without....
Simone de Beauvoir (laughing) : ..... the complication of underwear ! I'm sure it can be arranged!
Simone de Beauvoir ( thoughtfully): That is a lovely shade of blue.
Belle et Bonne: What? The BBox blue?
Simone de Beauvoir: Yes. I have to wear something blue to a party.
Belle et Bonne: Oh what fun. How about the blue of Team Quick Step? That is very pretty. Or the aqua of Team Astana? That's my favourite colour of all.
Simone de Beauvoir: I am only dreaming. I do not have a blue dress. And I do not wish to spend money on a new one that I will wear only once.
Belle et Bonne; Well, have you any underwear that is blue? If someone at the party asks you why you are not wearing blue, you can say, Oh but I am wearing something blue. It is just that you cannot see it.
Simone de Beauvoir: What a clever idea! But this party will be attended by philosophers....
Belle et Bonne: Aha. I think I foresee the problem.
Simone de Beavoir: Yes, a philosopher would question whether something that is underneath one's outer clothing where no light penetrates can be considered to have any colour at all.
Belle et Bonne: It is debatable. It seems to me this is a question for Uncle David.
Simone de Beauvoir: It is indeed. But do you really wish to put it to him?
Belle et Bonne ( turning pink ) : Not unless I can put it to him without....
Simone de Beauvoir (laughing) : ..... the complication of underwear ! I'm sure it can be arranged!
Missing Shades
Jean Paul Sartre started handing out the drinks and snacks.
The VeloDrone: Spinach Triangles! They're not high energy snacks!
Jean Paul Sartre: Simone swears by them. She says that anything green.....
Le Bon David: Here let me have one. Hmm, funny shade of green.
The VeloDrone: Perhaps it's your famous Missing Shade of Green.
Le Bon David: It was the Missing Shade of Blue.
The VeloDrone: Oh yes, so it was. But I suppose there could equally be a Missing Shade of Green.
Jean Paul Sartre: What's all this about?
Le Bon David ( modestly) : It's my well-known contradiction. I contended that there could be no idea without there first being an impression. Then I said that one could come up with an instance of an idea arising without there first being an impression, although it wasn't necessarily a serious problem......
Jean Paul Sartre: Come on man, get to the point.
Le Bon David: I'm eating, and riding a bike. Give me a break...
The VeloDrone: Let me explain it. He said that it would be possible for a person to imagine a shade of blue that fell between a lighter and a darker shade of blue, without ever having seen that particular shade of blue before in his life.
Jean Paul Sartre: I must tell Simone. She has to wear something blue to a party.
Le Bon David: What's that got to do with it?
Jean Paul Sartre: This new shade of blue you speak of.
The VeloDrone: But it's MISSING!
Jean Paul Sartre: That will not trouble Simone.
The VeloDrone: Spinach Triangles! They're not high energy snacks!
Jean Paul Sartre: Simone swears by them. She says that anything green.....
Le Bon David: Here let me have one. Hmm, funny shade of green.
The VeloDrone: Perhaps it's your famous Missing Shade of Green.
Le Bon David: It was the Missing Shade of Blue.
The VeloDrone: Oh yes, so it was. But I suppose there could equally be a Missing Shade of Green.
Jean Paul Sartre: What's all this about?
Le Bon David ( modestly) : It's my well-known contradiction. I contended that there could be no idea without there first being an impression. Then I said that one could come up with an instance of an idea arising without there first being an impression, although it wasn't necessarily a serious problem......
Jean Paul Sartre: Come on man, get to the point.
Le Bon David: I'm eating, and riding a bike. Give me a break...
The VeloDrone: Let me explain it. He said that it would be possible for a person to imagine a shade of blue that fell between a lighter and a darker shade of blue, without ever having seen that particular shade of blue before in his life.
Jean Paul Sartre: I must tell Simone. She has to wear something blue to a party.
Le Bon David: What's that got to do with it?
Jean Paul Sartre: This new shade of blue you speak of.
The VeloDrone: But it's MISSING!
Jean Paul Sartre: That will not trouble Simone.
Friday, July 9, 2010
The Life Saver
Team Philosophe is riding in the middle of the main peloton. But they are beginning to flag.
The VeloDrone: Hey Jean Paul! How about you go to the back and pick us up some drinks and snacks?
Le Bon David: Oh, yes please!
Jean Paul Sartre: Why me?
The VeloDrone: That's a funny attitude for an existentialist!
Jean Paul Sartre: I am what I am.
The VeloDrone (mimicking): I yam what I yam.
Le Bon David: Hee hee! Popeye the Sailorman ! Off you go, and bring us back some spinach!
Jean Paul Sartre ( huffily): I'm going, but I may be quite some time.
(He drops back).
The VeloDrone: I am what I am indeed! I can't help thinking he's grown a little lazy.
Le Bon David: Bone lazy. But, as he would say, " Existence precedes essence".
The VeloDrone: And what would he mean by that?
Le Bon David: Yes, interesting. What would he mean by that? Perhaps he would mean that once, he wasn't lazy. Then gradually, he became a person who was, in essence, lazy.
The VeloDrone: As opposed to what?
Le Bon David: Being born lazy I suppose. And staying lazy.
The VeloDrone: No, no. I thought existentialism was all about choosing your course in life, being the master of your own destiny, and so on.
Le Bon David: Yes it is, but not if you choose to be lazy.
(They hear the sound of puffing, and smell the unmistakeable smell of spinach).
The VeloDrone: Good heavens! He's back already!
Le Bon David: Jean Paul! Good man! You're a life saver!
The VeloDrone: Hey Jean Paul! How about you go to the back and pick us up some drinks and snacks?
Le Bon David: Oh, yes please!
Jean Paul Sartre: Why me?
The VeloDrone: That's a funny attitude for an existentialist!
Jean Paul Sartre: I am what I am.
The VeloDrone (mimicking): I yam what I yam.
Le Bon David: Hee hee! Popeye the Sailorman ! Off you go, and bring us back some spinach!
Jean Paul Sartre ( huffily): I'm going, but I may be quite some time.
(He drops back).
The VeloDrone: I am what I am indeed! I can't help thinking he's grown a little lazy.
Le Bon David: Bone lazy. But, as he would say, " Existence precedes essence".
The VeloDrone: And what would he mean by that?
Le Bon David: Yes, interesting. What would he mean by that? Perhaps he would mean that once, he wasn't lazy. Then gradually, he became a person who was, in essence, lazy.
The VeloDrone: As opposed to what?
Le Bon David: Being born lazy I suppose. And staying lazy.
The VeloDrone: No, no. I thought existentialism was all about choosing your course in life, being the master of your own destiny, and so on.
Le Bon David: Yes it is, but not if you choose to be lazy.
(They hear the sound of puffing, and smell the unmistakeable smell of spinach).
The VeloDrone: Good heavens! He's back already!
Le Bon David: Jean Paul! Good man! You're a life saver!
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