Sunday, May 31, 2020

Tall Holiday Hat

Gaius is right. It was Vello.

Vello is now on his way.

He is cycling alone.

Good practice, thinks Vello, for the Tour de France in late August.

Even better, with a back pack.

His back pack is bulky. It contains a small tent, sleeping bag, rain jacket and the tall Peruvian hat, which he always takes on holiday.

As he pedals, it sways from side to side.

.......

He stops in Mount Compass, for a coffee.

A few raindrops fall, as he exits the café.

Should he put on his raincoat?

It won't be fun camping. He calls Gaius.

This time Gaius answers.

Vello? Where have you got to?

I'm in Mount Compass. It's starting to rain. I'm thinking of going home.

Don't do that, says Gaius. Do you know how to get here? You've overshot the turn off, if you're in Mount Compass.

I needed a coffee, says Vello. It's getting worse, what's it like where you are?

A few spots, says Gaius. But there's plenty of shelter. And Paloma has a camper. She'll let us inside.

Could she perhaps come and get me? asks Vello.

No, she's busy planting seedlings, says Gaius. Take the Victor Harbour Road out of Mount Compass, turn left at Lanacoona, left onto Simpson and right onto Beare Lane.

What about your talking parrot? asks Vello. It could come surely.

It's not a parrot, says Gaius. It's a crab.

Not like you to mistake a creature, says Vello.

Terence's fancy, says Gaius.

Is he there? asks Vello. Now I'm really not coming.

You've come this far, says Gaius. I'll tell you what. Sit tight and I'll send Kierkegaard. He's not doing much. And he can pick up some supplies from the cafe. Of course, you could do that.

No, send him, says Vello. I'll wait here with my coffee.

In your rain coat, says Gaius.

And my holiday hat, says Vello. I'll await him.

....

Gaius turns to Kierkegaard.

I heard, says Kierkegaard. I'm not doing much. Neither are you for that matter.

We can't both go, says Gaius.

I suppose not, says Kierkegaard. What would you like me to pick up from the café?

Sandwiches, says Gaius. And apples, if there are any. Coffee, if there's any way of carrying it.

If there isn't, says Kierkegaard, at least I can have one.

He thinks, Gaius deserved that.

He walks off to his bike.


Saturday, May 30, 2020

An Incredible Feat of Deduction

Squeesquee!

Gaius and Kierkegaard make their way through the gap in the bulrushes.

Alexander-Red-Hook follows.

Remind me to tell you something, says Alexander-Red-Hook.

Very well, says Gaius.

They have now reached the spot where Terence has been sitting with Lily, drying his shorts.

Where is it? asks Gaius. Flown away, I suppose.

No, says Terence. That was me, doing a practice.

It sounded lifelike, says Kierkegaard.

I thought so too, says Lily.

But the emu-wrens don't appear to have thought so.

Unless they took it as a warning, and decided to avoid that particular spot in the future.

Tap tap. Alexander-Red-Hook taps on Gaius's Croc.

Yes, you were going to tell me something, says Gaius.

You had a phone call, says Alexander-Red-Hook. While you were sleeping.

Was I sleeping? asks Gaius. Dear me.

If I had the phone, says Terence, I could have answered it for you.

Or I, says Kierkegaard.

You were sleeping as well, says Alexander-Red-Hook.

Kierkegaard frowns.

I never sleep, says Terence.

Wow! says Lily. You're lucky!

And I could've taken a picture of the E-mew, says Terence.

Except there wasn't one, says Lily.

What was the phone call? asks Gaius.

Someone is coming, says Alexander-Red-Hook. He's coming this evening and bringing a tent. I gave him directions.

Was it Arthur? asks Gaius.

No, says Alexander-Red-Hook. No one I know the voice of.

Didn't he say? asks Kierkegaard. Don't people usually tell you?

This one didn't, says Alexander-Red-Hook. He just said who the dickens are you? I suppose you're one of Gaius's creatures. He said he's coming because he's got cobwebs.

Haha! laughs Terence. Cobwebs!

Hum, says Gaius. Who can it be?

No doubt a fellow philosopher, says Kierkegaard. We all suffer from cobwebs.

That narrows it down, says Gaius. Did he have any speech characteristics?

He said Ah! twice, says Alexander-Red-Hook. No wait! Ah! first, then Ahah! after that.

That would be Vello, says Gaius.


Friday, May 29, 2020

Foolproof Plan

So they ran off? asks Gaius.

Yes, says Lily. They were scared of the spider.

But they eat spiders, says Gaius.

Not this spider, says Lily. It was Terence's crab.

Me, says Alexander-Red-Hook. I'm sorry.

Not your fault, says Gaius. But why don't you stay with us in our hide, then they won't see you.

Okay, says Alexander-Red-Hook.

What will I do? asks Terence.

Go back to where you last saw the emu-wrens, and stay quiet, says Gaius. If you see one, give me a signal.

Yes, says Terence. What's the signal?

How about squeesquee? asks Lily. That's one of their sounds, so it won't scare them.

It might BE them, says Terence.

If it is, says Gaius, and we hear it, that will also suffice for a signal.

A foolproof plan.

Terence and Lily go off, through the proper gap this time.

Gaius and Kierkegaard settle down.

The sun warms their cosy bird hide.

They soon become drowsy.

Gaius's phone rings. Softly, because he has turned down his ring tone.

Alexander-Red-Hook sees that Gaius has not stirred.

Why not make herself useful?

Hello. This is Gaius's phone, says Alexander-Red-Hook.

Who the dickens are you? asks Vello.

Crab-cum-parrot-spider-no, says Alexander-Red-Hook.

Ah! One of Gaius's creatures, says Vello. At least you are capable of speech. Where is he?

Snoozing in a bird hide, says Alexander-Red-Hook.

Ahah! says Vello. Just as I hoped. And where is this bird hide?

Near a swamp in Stipiturus Conservation Park at the end of Beare Road just out of Mount Compass, says Alexander-Red-Hook.

I say, says Vello. Impressive.

I keep my eyes open, says Alexander-Red-Hook. Why do you want to know?

I'm thinking of taking a short holiday in the country, says Vello. But I don't know anyone in the country. Then I thought of Gaius. He's usually pottering about looking for birds, snakes or spiders. It's just what I need, to blow away the cobwebs. Tell him I'll drop by this evening. Is he camping?

In a manner of speaking, says Alexander-Red-Hook.

So he has no equipment, says Vello. Typical. I'll bring a small tent.

Lovely, says Alexander-Red-Hook.

Don't forget to tell him, says Vello. See you shortly, crab-spider-no.

He left out cum-parrot, thinks Alexander-Red-Hook.

Squeesquee!

The signal! Gaius's eyes snap open.

His leg jerks, kicking Kierkegaard awake.


Thursday, May 28, 2020

Aristotle's Eyeballs

Meanwhile, Gaius and Kierkegaard have set up a hide with tussocks to sit on.

Ideally, we should not sit on tussocks, says Gaius.

But these are so well placed, says Kierkegaard, who chose them.

Indeed, says Gaius. And we may be here for some time.

Some time passes.

How rare are these emu-wrens? asks Kierkegaard.

Very rare, says Gaius. Especially here.

There are more elsewhere? says Kierkegaard.

Seventy two percent of them are found in the Deep Creek Conservation Park, says Gaius.

Why didn't we go there? asks Kierkegaard.

There should be more here now, says Gaius. This habitat was degraded, but of recent years there have been efforts to restore it.

By people like Paloma, says Kierkegaard. What type of seedlings was she planting?

Mount Compass oak bush, it looked like, says Gaius.

Very nice, says Kierkegaard.

He leans back in the afternoon sunshine, forgetting that he is sitting on a tussock.

Oops. He leans forward again.

Tussocks, says Gaius. They tend to keep you alert.

There is a rustling in the bulrushes. A cracking sound. Some whacks.

It can only be Terence.

It is.

Guess what! cries Terence.

You have broken several bulrushes, with a stick, says Gaius. I hope it wasn't on purpose.

It was only on purpose because I couldn't get through, says Terence.

You could have come through the gap we made earlier, says Kierkegaard.

Terence looks. Lily and Alexander-Red-Hook are coming through the gap they made earlier.

That's their gap, says Terence. They were too slow, so I made a new one. That's because......guess what!

What? asks Gaius.

Wait, says Kierkegaard. What you said doesn't make sense. If they were too slow, they were behind you, so nothing was stopping you from coming through the gap we made earlier.

I've got a stick, says Terence.

I suggest you put it down, says Gaius, and tell us what you have come bursting through the bulrushes to tell us.

I spotted two E-mews! says Terence.

How do you know they were emus... I mean emu-wrens? asks Gaius. Describe them.

They couldn't talk properly and they thought Alexander-Red-Hook was a spider! says Terence.

Tail feathers? says Gaius.

She's a CRAB, says Terence. I mean a parrot, but she doesn't have feathers.

The emus, says Gaius.

Fortunately Lily is more observant.

Gray-brown, streaked with black on the top half, light brown underneath, a blue throat and some blue round the eyes, says Lily. Six upright tail feathers. And they ran through the low vegetation like mice do.

Aristotle's eyeballs! cries Gaius. That's them!  (He is excited)


Wednesday, May 27, 2020

Not-what-no

The two emu-wrens sneak up closer to Alexander-Red-Hook.

The closer they get, the bigger she is, and the harder her shell looks.

squeesqueenotaspider!

nonotoneno!

What's that squeesqueeing? asks Lily.

Parrots, says Terence.

Not parrots, says Alexander-Red-Hook. I think I should know.

But you're not a real parrot, says Lily. So you might not know.

Does that mean you think it's parrots squeesqueeing? asks Terence.

No, says Lily.

But you're not a real parrot, says Terence.

She knows bird things, says Alexander-Red-Hook. She told me.

Woop! says Terence. So you don't have to be one to know.

I said MIGHT not, says Lily. But I'm sure it's not parrots.They could be stipituri.

Ee? scoffs  Terence.

Plural, says Lily. I heard at least two squeesquees.

What am I one of? asks Terence.

Why are you asking? asks Lily.

So I know what I don't have to be one of, to know something, says Terence.

He's just being silly, says Alexander-Red-Hook.

I know, says Lily. Look! There they are!

Make a parrot sound, says Terence.

Who, me? asks Alexander-Red-Hook. How does a parrot sound?

Squaaaark, suggests Lily.

That's all YOU know, says Terence.

Hello, brothers, says Alexander-Red-Hook to the two stipituri.

notoneno, says the first one.

notwhatno? asks Alexander-Red-Hook.

spiderno! says the second one.

Of course I'm a spider-no, says Alexander-Red-Hook. And I won't confuse you by claiming to be a parrot. I suppose you don't see many crabs, and therefore you think I may be a strange kind of spider, but I assure you, I'm a crustacean...

See, says Terence, to Lily. That's how a parrot sounds.

It's no big deal to Lily, but the stipituri don't like it.

They flee through the low vegetation.




Tuesday, May 26, 2020

Whistle What's Up?

The Southern emu-wren has covered a short distance from the scene of the washing.

It lands on a prickly tree.

There it thinks about what has just happened.

backpackmanflee! chirpwhistle!

moremans! onelittlemans

eyeseyes!

In other words, the Southern emu-wren, having been surprised by Kierkegaard at the back pack, flew off in a panic, but not before noticing Terence's eyes.

Presumably, the Smartie eyes, not his normal cement ones.

Another emu-wren lands on the prickle tree beside him.

chirpwhistlewhatsup?

littlemanseyes!!

chupsquee?

squeesqeeesquee!!

never!!

come and squee!!

In other words the second emu-wren doesn't believe it, so now they are going back to see.

Southern emu-wrens are weak fliers. They hop down from the prickle tree.

They run along together, like wee mice, through the low vegetation.

....

Meanwhile Terence is growing ever cleaner.

You can even see the gecko pattern on his shorts.

And his face looks a lot fresher.

But his cement curls are still filthy, with the Smarties in situ.

Now sit in the sun while you dry, says Gaius. There's a sunny spot.

I'll sit with you, says Lily. You and your parrot.

Alexander-Red-Hook is happy to be included.

Paloma continues planting seedlings.

Gaius and Kierkegaard walk back through the gap in the bulrushes.

Have they forgotten that the emu-wren might come back?

No. They are going to get Gaius's binoculars and then find a good place to hide.

One where they might sit upon something, while waiting.

.....

The two emu-wrens peer through the low vegetation.

littlemans!

eyesno!

spider!

squeesqueeget!

Oh no! They have spotted Alexander-Red-Hook. And they think she's a spider.

Monday, May 25, 2020

Ins And Outs Of Bird Watch

Terence plonks the container of water down on the grass.

More water slops out in the process.

Terence wants someone to wash him, says Lily.

Did I say that? asks Terence.

I'm quite sure he didn't, says Gaius. Step in, Terence. I shall do it.

Terence steps in.

Gaius looks around for a smaller container.

The seedling pots are useless. They have holes in the bottom.

I'll use my cupped hands, says Gaius. Ready Terence?

Terence is ready.

Gaius fills his cupped hands.

He raises the cupped hands filled with water above Terence's head.

Wait! I'm not ready, says Terence.

Let me know when you are, says Gaius.

Never, says Terence. Because if you slosh water over my head you'll wash off the Smarties.

We'll take them off first, says Gaius.

Terence thinks they look like eyes, says Lily. He wants a photo.

I'll take a photo, says Kierkegaard.

Good man, says Gaius. Use my phone. It's back there, through the bulrushes, in my back pack.

Kierkegaard goes through the gap in the bulrushes.

Wonderful! There's a small bird, sitting on Gaius's back pack. If only he could take a photo. But Gaius's phone is inside, and Kierkegaard doesn't have one.

He resolves to obtain one. For times such as these.

The small bird flies up in alarm.

Kierkegaard reaches into the back pack and pulls out a sock filled with knucklebones.

Pah! He shoves it back in.

He rummages further, until he finds Gaius's phone.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the bulrushes, Terence has sat down in his container of water.

It's a boat, says Terence.

Boats aren't filled with water, says Lily. Unless they're sinking.

Terence is about to reply when the small bird which Kierkegaard startled darts by.

I do believe that was a stipiturus! says Gaius.

An E-mew! shouts Terence.

Hush, says Paloma. It might come back if we're quiet.

Yes, possibly.

It might.