Tour Down Under: Stage Three - Crushing Snails

Stage three. Lobethal to Uraidla. Another hot day.

Terence is wearing Hatter with Eyebrows.

A child with a tooter stares at him.

Are you baby Jesus? asks she.

NO! shouts Terence. See these eyebrows?

He manipulates the eyebrows, to prove that he isn't.

The child laughs.

Come away, says her mother.

Why would the kid ask that? asks Celia.

This is Lobethal, says Belle. They do Christmas lights every year. And scenes of nativities.

Oh, says Celia.

Terence waves at Sweezus, Arthur, and Pablo.

They don't even see him.

They are trying to catch up with Vello, who has joined an early breakaway.

They catch up.

Bold move, says Pablo.

Thank you, says Vello. Thought I may as well risk it.

How do you like this? asks Sweezus. The old woman is out in the garden, crushing snails.

What? cries Vello. Oh, the play. Yes that sounds promising. And what is the upshot?

They debate the virtues of killing garden pests directly, or by other methods, says Sweezus.

Such as poison, says Arthur.

Or planting something snails don't like, says Pablo.

Or something they do like, says Vello. I'm with you. Yes, keep going along those lines. I approve. But now I'm going to drop back.

He drops back, and finds himself level with Pinky.

She shoots forward and turns around sharply, heading between his two wheels.

Merde! cries Vello.

But Vello is a canny rider. He doesn't fall off.

What did we do? asks Kobo.

Nothing, says Pinky. This is boring. Let's stop at a café in Uraidla and not do the six loops.

O yes let's, says Kobo. Ageless and Blue Claw won't know.

They stop at a café in Uraidla. But would you believe it? Ageless and Blue Claw are in the café waiting to order.

Hello ladies, says Ageless. Finished at last?

Don't tell me you've completed six loops, says Kobo, emerging from Pinky.

Six loops? says Ageless. I thought the race had been shortened.

No it hasn't, says Pinky. If you look out of the window you'll see them go round five more times.

Curses! says Ageless.  And what are YOU doing here?

Just stopped for a wee, says Pinky.

She goes into the men's toilet, although she doesn't have to.

And she doesn't emerge for some time.

Ageless, Blue Claw and Kobo watch as the teams do five more loops of Summertown and Uraidla.

The café being not quite adjacent to the finish line they miss Peter Sagan winning narrowly from Luis León Sánchez.