Every Crime Magible

Belle goes into the kitchen to look for a bin tie.

Hedley is holding the now-flaccid glove.

Give that to Terence, says Vello. We're rehearsing scene four, and you're in it.

But I haven't learnt my lines yet, says Hedley.

Can you read? asks Vello.

Of course I can, says Hedley.

Vello hands him the copy of Candide, open at page 107.

Have a quick read of that, says Vello. All your lines will be in it. You may shorten them if you like.

I should think so! says Iris.

Hedley reads from page 107 to the end of the chapter called Candide in France.

Am I the officer? asks Hedley. 

You know you are, says Vello.

And is the officer the man with the ivory truncheon? asks Hedley.

What? Yes, says Vello.

And is the man with the ivory truncheon the Chief Yeoman of the Guard? asks Hedley.

Yes why are you asking? asks Vello.

It's not clear. says Hedley.

Of course it's clear, says Vello, snatching the copy from Hedley. They are simply three names for the same person.

A minor character, says Iris. Careless of you.

Thank you Iris, says Vello. Yes Hedley, they are all you. You may rest assured on that point. Now, are you ready?

Yes, says Hedley.

I'm ready too, says David. 

Me too, says Iris. Hedley, come and arrest us.

Hedley steps forward,

Seize them and put them in prison! says Hedley.

Who is he supposed to be talking to? asks Iris.

Hm, says Vello. Hedley, we don't have anyone to play your minions. Therefore you must adjust what you say.

I'm arresting you and taking you to prison! says Hedley.

Well done, Hedley, says Iris.

Yes, well done, says David.

Very good, says Vello.

David whispers something to Iris.

Iris holds her hand out to Hedley.

Good God sir! says Hedley. If you had committed every crime magible you would still be the most honest man in the world! Three diamonds! I would rather die than put you in prison!

Excellent Hedley, says Vello. Except for one word. It's imaginable, not magible.

Sorry, says Hedley. But I am only seven.