Easter Story 2

After dinner, Jesus wanted to read a book.

How about this? I said, offering him the New Revised Bible. It's all about you.

Is it? he said, that should be interesting. He sat down in a comfortable chair and began to read.

I don't remember any of this, he said after a few minutes. Are you sure it's about me?

Oh sorry, I said, that's the Old Testament. You're in the New Testament. It starts here.

Thank you, said Jesus. It would have taken me ages to find it myself.

He went on reading. After a while he looked up.

Who wrote this? he asked. He seems to be confusing me with Mithras.

Oh surely not, I said, everyone knows it's about you.

Well, I'm not so sure, he said. I have some major issues with it. Look what a muddle they've made of my parables, and as to my cursing the fig tree, do I strike you as the sort of fool that would do that?

No, I replied. I always wondered why you cursed the fig tree, just because you felt like having a fig, and it didn't have any figs on it at the time. It seemed so petty, not to mention self-defeating, to tell it to wither and die.

Exactly, said Jesus. I wonder if it's too late for me to do anything about it now?