This Is True

It rained yesterday. The first rain we've had all year, to speak of. This is true. It rained all day. We had to like it, even though we don't like getting wet. This is also true.

When it rains here the dead grass sprouts immediately and turns a brilliant green. This is generally true.

We used to throw our washing up water on the grass to keep it from forgetting. This is poetically true.

Usually the washing up water would have bits of food in it, such as rice, apple pips, rocket leaves, pineapple slices, onion rings and tomato paste in suspension. This is demonstrably true.

This morning you couldn't see the grass for the rice, rocket, onion and tomato plants that had sprung up in profusion overnight, under a canopy of apple and pineapple trees.

This isn't true, and I'm quite disappointed.