The Greater Humanity of Pliny the Younger

You were quoting yourself yesterday about dolphins, weren't you, I said to Pliny the Elder. Something you wrote nearly 2000 years ago.

What of it? asked Pliny.

Well, we know a lot more about dolphins' feeding habits nowadays, I said. You need to bring yourself up to date.

I already have, said Pliny. The Google is a wonderful thing. It is true that that different species of dolphins use different methods to catch their prey. The most common is the method known as Herding, but other dolphins use a method called Whacking, and the Spinner Dolphins seek their prey using Nocturnal Scanning. Yet other Dolphins suck up food from the ocean floor by means of Pushing Sponges.

Oh Pliny, I said. How is it that you manage to make everything sound so peculiar?

It is a talent I have never lost, he replied. Would you like to hear a wondrous story about a dolphin that I first recorded many years ago? It happened in Africa, in the town of Hippo, which is near the coast. A river running by the town links the ocean to a large lake, and dolphins were often seen there. Local boys used to swim there and hold races. One day a dolphin came up to one of the boys and allowed him to get up on his back. The dolphin swam to the deepest part of the river with the boy and then returned him safely to the shore. The dolphin and the boy became friends, and often swam together in this manner and the town became quite famous.

A charming story, I said.

Yes, but it does not have a happy ending, said Pliny. Bigwigs flocked from all around and their presence involved the people of the little town in expenses they could ill afford. It was thought the best way to curtail the situation was to kill the dolphin privately, and that is what they did.

Tragic, I said. But Pliny, you forget that I can Google too. Why have you given me your nephew Pliny the Younger's version of this story and not your own?

He had the story from me, said Pliny, but his version is held to have more humanity. Never let it be said that I do not consider myself open to improvement.