Easter Story 3

What a nice young man that Jesus was, said Pliny the Elder this morning. We had quite a long chat. We discovered we were both alive at the same time. I showed him some of my writings and he admired them very much. He said he was beginning to wish he had at least kept some sort of a diary. And did you know he saved the life of a small creature this morning? There was a ladybird drowning in the shower. I had seen it myself but not taken much notice. Later I saw it had been placed on the side of the bath, to dry out. A bit later on it was gone. I presume he took it carefully outside and placed it gently on a flower.

Pliny, I said severely. That is just how rumours start. It was I who saved the ladybird, and I can prove it by telling you the story. I was about to get out of the shower. I looked down and saw, in a corner, some hairs and two small round things, one larger than the other. I took a blue tissue from the tissue box and wiped up the lot in one sweep. I looked at the tissue. The larger of the round things had a ladybirdish look, but no legs. I went to get my glasses. It was a ladybird. I placed it on the side of the bath. After a minute it put out a few legs. Then I went to get dressed. When I came back it was gone. How do you like the story so far? Enough details to prove it was me?

No, said Pliny. Maybe he had gone into the bathroom while you were getting dressed, seen the ladybird and taken it outside.

Maybe, but I haven't finished the story, I said. I looked everywhere in that bathroom. On the floor, the window sill, in the bath, and even down the plughole, where it was very, very dark. Suddenly I saw the ladybird clinging to the side of the bath on the outside, looking small and disorientated. I went to the kitchen and picked up a little pink plastic bowl, returned to the bathroom and poked the ladybird. She fell to the floor. I scooped her up into the bowl, and carried her outside, where I placed her gently on a brick next to a pot of basil, and, as I realised a bit later on when I went back out to see if she was still there, a nest of ants. Now do you believe me?

Yes, said Pliny the Elder. How irritating you are. And was she still there?

No, she wasn't.