The Fate of the Melon

You do know, said Pliny, chewing thoughtfully on a sardine, that pineapples don't grow on trees?

Do I? I said. How do you know?

It was a rhetorical question, said Pliny. You mentioned pineapple trees. I assumed that you didn't know.

What do they grow on then? I asked huffily.

The pineapple plant is a bromeliad and grows as a spiky bush close to the ground. Each bush produces only one pineapple.

Oh. Yes I remember now. We saw them growing like that when we were in Queensland. I couldn't believe my eyes. I still prefer to think they grow on tall trees, more like coconuts.

Pliny looked disgusted. Fantasy! he snorted, spraying me with sardine fragments. The whole thing was nothing but a fantasy.

Well, Pliny, I did say at the end that it wasn't true. It was a fantasy triggered by the rain.

No reason to get it all wrong, said Pliny. In fact, you have a perfectly good melon growing out there on the grass, and yet you never mentioned it.

I didn't want to introduce an element of tragedy, I said.