Events in Real Time

I'm telling Pliny the Elder about a wedding that I went to yesterday.

You overhear some funny things at weddings, I say.

What did you hear? asks Pliny.

I heard an older woman say to a younger one, It's the photos and videos you'll remember it by.

Remarkable, says Pliny. Was she suggesting that the younger woman didn't need to pay attention?

I don't know, I said. I also heard an old chap say, Can't recognise anyone, they're all done up.

Hah! laughs Pliny. If everyone is unrecognisable that young woman will be none the wiser later on!

Oh well, I recognised nearly everyone. And everyone looked amazing. The women looked gorgeous, the men very handsome and the children as cute as pies.

You are being unusually effusive, says Pliny.

You never know who might read this, I say. Anyway, Pliny, I've got something to tell you.

You're going on holiday for ten days, says Pliny. I already know.

I know you already know. What I need to tell you is, there's no food here but lettuce.

Thank you, says Pliny. Anything else?

Yes, If the wind blows, could you flush the toilets?

Alright, says Pliny. Will you be blogging while you are on holiday?

I might and I might not, I say.

Well, if you're not.... says Pliny.

You can, I say. But keep them short.