Cheating

Irma watched in dismay as Wittgenstein burst out of the bunker firing his paintgun willynilly.

You idiot! she shouted. Get behind the bones!

But Wittenstein wasn't paying attention. He fired 6 yellow paintballs at Saint Nicholas who had come out from behind his bunker and was standing in the open.

Hey! shouted Saint Nicholas crossly. I'm out! Where's the referee?

Wittgenstein grabbed hold of his friend and frogmarched him back towards his bunker, where Emma was crouching.

Pow! Pow! Wittgenstein shot 2 yellow paintballs at Emma, who deftly slipped out of the way, and shot 5 red paintballs at Wittgenstein from her new position.

Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! yelled Saint Nicholas, who had taken all five paintballs in the stomach because Wittgenstein was using him as a human shield.

Stop! cried Professor Freud. Stop this game at once!! The yellow team is disqualified for cheating! The red team is disqualified for failing to leave the field when hit!

What's this? said Wittgenstein. I haven't finished playing! I have to shoot this girl.

Too late, said Professor Freud. The game is over.

Good, said Saint Nicholas. Look at me. I'm covered in yellow and red paint.

Your own fault, said Professor Freud.

Don't worry comrade, said Emma. It washes out.

Well that was most diverting, said Wittgenstein. I'm having such a marvellous holiday from philosophy. What shall we do next?

How about we all go to the Ripple and Swirl Cafe for icecreams? said Saint Nicholas. My treat.

Yes! said Emma and Irma.

With pleasure, said Professor Freud.

Are we whisking? asked Wittgenstein.

I don't think I could manage that, said Saint Nicholas. We're going to have to walk.

No, no, said Professor Freud. We have plenty of bicycles here at the meatworks. And it's all down hill from here.