Geography

Where? asked Saint Nicholas.

Instead of being simply whisked away, said Wittgenstein, the boy could be made to escape on a bicycle.

Do you have any idea of geography? asked Saint Nicholas. Crete was an island last time I heard.

I thought this was supposed to be a miracle, said Wittgenstein. It might be a miraculous bicycle, provided by you.

But I had no need to provide a miraculous bicycle, said Saint Nicholas. I simply whisked that boy home.

Think again, said Wittgenstein. You are in need of a bicycle now, or your story may not be published.

You can't change history, said Saint Nicholas.

And you can't do miracles, said Wittgenstein.

Wittgenstein and Saint Nicholas glared at one another.

Belle et Bonne reached for the box of gingerbread. Luckily just at that moment Le Bon David arrived.

Oh Uncle David! I'm so glad you're here, said Belle et Bonne.

Yes, yes, sorry I'm late everyone. Shall we get down to business? It's getting awfully close to our Christmas deadline, said Le Bon David, taking a gingerbread man. Ha ha caught you little man, he said, biting off its head. Now where are we?

Saint Nicholas's story is sorted, said Belle et Bonne. You need to talk to Mr Wittgenstein.

Yes I do. Any preliminary ideas? he asked, looking at Wittgenstein.

My story will be a short one, said Wittgenstein. There is a bicycle in it, but I am not on the bicycle. I become suicidal, briefly. There is a good helping of philosophy, but no miracles, he added.

Good, said Le Bon David. We don't need any miracles.

Belle et Bonne coughed loudly.

Do we? he asked.