Patsy and Skippy

Do you have any other favourites from The Wonderful World of Dogs? asked Pliny.

Yes, I said. The one called Patsy and Skippy. I read it with increasing scepticism, but towards the end I realised it was totally insane and I enjoyed it after that.

Intriguing, said Pliny. What happens in the story?

It's written in the first person by Patsy. She was in rehab in Florida for nine months for an alcohol addiction. She and some other women are sitting out on the patio when Patsy spots a dog on the grass. She goes over to it. It looks uncared for and unwell. She bonds with it instantly. She calls it Skippy and feeds it and takes it to a vet she met in rehab. But Skippy has a serious condition. Level four heartworm! During the month long treatment Patsy stays in the cage with Skippy at the vet's, cradling her in her arms until closing time.

What? says Pliny.

Exactly, I say. Anyway, Skippy miraculously recovers. Unfortunately Skippy's owner Tex lives just up the road. He sees his dog looking better and decides he wants her back. One weekend when Patsy is on a trial visit to her husband Tex takes Skippy back to his place and locks her in. Patsy is distraught. Her visit was successfiul and her counsellor has said she can go back home at last. But she can't go without Skippy!

Skippy isn't her dog, said Pliny.

I know, I said. But she loves Skippy and Skippy loves her. She goes to see Tex to ask for Skippy. He nastily refuses, even when she offers money. Everyone at rehab is on her side. They pray for her and Skippy, and give advice. It is nearly too late now. Patsy is flying home the day after tomorrow. She goes over to Tex's for one last try. Tex is out, but Skippy is in the yard. The gate is blocked on the inside by a heavy barrel. She pushes with all her might, and Skippy runs out of the crack. She takes her to the vet, who agrees to hide her there.

Aiding and abetting, said Pliny.

Yes. Patsy returns to rehab, just as the police get there. They ask her where the dog is. She says she doesn't have a dog. They search her room. Luckily there is nothing of Skippy's there. The rehab attorney talks to Patsy. She tells him what she's done. The attorney tells the police that Patsy doesn't have a dog. Patsy is only charged with a misdemeanour.

What was the misdemeanour if she didn't have the dog? asked Pliny.

Beats me I said. The next day Patsy flies home to her family with Skippy. She and Skippy were always meant to be together. That's the end.

You may have liked it, said Pliny. But I am not so sure.

Perhaps you need to read it for yourself, I said. To get the tone.