Some Dude Outside

The sea is cold. Arthur turns back to the shore.

Gaius! says Arthur. What are you doing here?

Looking for you, says Gaius. I had a wonderful time in Port Augusta after you left. You ought to have stayed. I attended a fascinating talk on phasmids.

Phasmids, says Arthur. Like phantoms?

No no, says Gaius. They are stick insects. I want you to help me find a new species. Of course there won't be any down here on the beach. You and I will have to go inland.......

But I'm going surfing, says Arthur.

Plenty of time for that later, says Gaius.

At least wait till morning, says Arthur. Haven't you noticed it's dark?

So it is, says Gaius. Where are you sleeping? I'll come back with you.

In that van over there, says Arthur. With Sweezus and Belle and everyone. You go and knock. I'll be up in a minute.

Gaius marches up to Surf Fink and knocks on the side.

Arthur goes straight to Mrs Swales's place. He knocks on the window of the bedroom in which Mrs Hume, Professor Freud and Farky are sleeping.

Mrs Hume is a light sleeper. She wakes up. She opens the window and pokes her head out.

Arthur! she says. What is it?

I'm going, says Arthur. Can I borrow your car?

Certainly not, says Mrs Hume. I'm going home myself in the morning. I've a plane to catch.

Leave early, says Arthur. I'll come with you. I'll drive.

That would be nice, says Mrs Hume. But I thought you were going surfing?

I was, says Arthur, but something came up.

Just let me get dressed, says Mrs Hume. And put on my face.

Arthur looks at her face. So that's what she looks like without it.

.............

Knock, knock.

Gaius knocks on the side of the van.

Whassat? says Surfing-With-Whales.

It's me, says Gaius. It's Gaius Plinius Secundus.

Jesus! says Surfing-With-Whales.

Whassat? says Sweezus.

Some dude outside, says Surfing-With-Whales. Midge, you got a torch?

Whassat? says Midge.

You don't need a torch, says Belle et Bonne. It's Gaius. Let him in.

They open the van door and let Gaius in.

I've just checked the Fluidzone forecast for Middleton, says Gaius. As the sea will be glassy and flat, with only ankle slapping ripples on the beachies, and a southern swell just to put a nail in it, I suggest you all give up the idea of surfing this morning and come inland with Arthur and me. We'll be looking for phasmids.

Where is Arthur? says Belle.

Arthur will be along in a minute, says Gaius.