Farky lies flat on his surfboard. Drip drip drip. Water drips from his paddle into the sea. Two dolphins are swimming below the surfboard, round and round.
The same two dolphins.
You said Christmas was on Tuesday, says the first one. Was it?
No, says the second dolphin. I said it was next Tuesday.
Oh, next Tuesday, says the first dolphin. That's ages off.
They continue swimming round in circles under Farky, until they spot a shark.
.........
On the shore Belle et Bonne has received a text from Mrs Hume.
How's she going? asks Midge.
She's had a lovely massage and she's feeling pink and fluffy, says Belle et Bonne, and she's coming home on Monday night in time for Christmas.
Professor Freud pricks up his ears. Pink and fluffy. Women say the most revealing things. He ought to write them down.
Awesome, says Sweezus. That means Arthur'll be back in time for my birthday.
Hey! says Surfing-With-Whales. Let's have a party on the beach. Mum can do the pizzas.
Cool, says Sweezus. Belle et Bonne and Midge can do the cake.
.........
Mummy, her two friends and Mrs Hume arrive home pink and fluffy and are suitably surprised. There are forty people at the party, half of whom are children. The children's faces have been painted by a fairy. They are in the bouncy castle jumping up and down. The adults are on the balcony chatting about improvements to their property while eating dips and crisps.
Arthur is bored. He decides to go exploring.
He heads off down the Old Bathurst Road to Emu Plains Station and catches the next train for the Blue Mountains.
He gets off at Leura, and walks to the end of the main street looking for a viewing point. He wants to see if the Blue Mountains are really blue.
He hears footsteps behind him.
Arthur! says Bunny, tapping him on the shoulder.
Merde! says Arthur, lapsing into French.
He is standing at the edge of a steep precipice without a railing.
What does she want now? To kill him? Or a philosophical discussion?
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