A Brief Moment Of Dismay

In Orford:

Unni, Arthur, Schopenhauer and Captain Louttit are in Scorchers, eating wood oven pizzas.

I wouldn't choose this one again, says Schopenhauer. Sweet relish overpowers the taste of trout.

Give me the trout, says Captain Louttit. I'll eat it.

The trout's the best bit, says Schopenhauer. It's the sweet relish that's the problem.

And the crust's too thin, says Unni. I'm still hungry.

Me too, says Arthur. I'll order another one.

He goes over to the counter.

Captain Louttit watches him go.

That red beret that Arthur's wearing, says Captain Louttit, licking sweet relish from his feelers. I don't know why but it reminds me of an old acquaintance.

Arthur says it reminds him of Ageless, says Unni.

Captain Louttit does a double take.

Ageless! says Captain Louttit. Don't tell me you know him!

We know him, says Unni. He rode with us last year in the Tour de France. What a balls-up that was. How do you know him?

Everyone knows him, says Captain Louttit.

I don't know him, says Schopenhauer.

Arthur comes back to the table.

I ordered ham and pineapple, he says,

Everyone at the table looks disgusted.

.....

Out at the sand spit:

The Important Birds are having a meeting on the sand, behind a clump of ammophila, or marram grass.

The Important Birds present at the meeting are:

 Two Red-capped Plovers

Two Pied Oystercatchers

One Fairy Tern

Absent are three more Fairy Terns, who have flown north for the winter.

They communicate in incomprehensible bird language, as follows:

Red-capped Plover : tik tik ....tik tik

Pied Oystercatcher: klepp kleep......kleep klepp

Fairy Tern: zwitt zwitt zwitt....

Gaius drops his bicycle onto a clump of marram grass, not noticing a faint crunching sound, and creeps up on the Important Birds.

He takes out his notebook, and a pencil, and begins to write the following description:

white underparts....rufous crown and hindneck...pale loreal stripe

The red-capped plover hops over to him and takes a look at what he's writing.

The red-capped plover has a sticky eye, so when he reads (quite wrongly) his own description:

white underpants

he is dismayed  (briefly).