The Perfect Mentality

They are marooned on Schouten Island.

They sit down on the sand.

Don't worry, says de Freycinet. I'll soon get us off. I'm an ex-naval officer as well as a cartographer-surveyor.

A mapper? says Captain Louttit.

Oui, says de Freycinet. But more than a mapper.

Yes, you said that, says Captain Louttit. An ex-naval officer as well. What are we waiting for?

I thought we might get better acquainted, says de Freycinet. Tell me about cycling. Is it difficult, I mean, for a lobster?

Not at all! says Captain Louttit. You just strap up, that's all, leaving four legs free. Then you pedal.

What about wind resistance? asks de Freycinet.

Captain Louttit stands up.

A stiff wind is blowing.

See? Nothing, says Captain Louttit.

De Freycinet can't quite see the point of this demonstration.

And what type of bicycle do you ride? asks de Freycinet. Is it customised to be smaller?

I suppose it will have to be, says Captain Louttit.

Alors! says de Freycinet. You don't yet have a bicycle! I knew it!

No doubt you also have secrets, says Captain Louttit. Or why live this solitary life?

I have no secrets, says de Freycinet. My life is on record. I am heartbroken, merely.

Heartbroken? says Captain Louttit. Tell me more.

The death of my young wife Rose left me heartbroken, says de Freycinet. She used to come with me on voyages. She insisted. We were devoted to one another. Well, she was devoted to me...... She had a little cabin on the poop deck.

Captain Louttit's eyes fill with tears.

Now the two sailors have exchanged confidences, their relationship is cemented.

Hey ho! They set back out to sea, bound for St Helens.

...........

Arthur and Unni have left the blowhole and are back on the Tasman Highway, heading for St Helens.

Gaius is still in Bicheno, waiting for Schopenhauer to catch up.

Here he comes now.

Schopenhauer: Huh, huh.... thanks for waiting!

Gaius: That's quite all right.

Schopenhauer: You don't get irony, do you?

Gaius: Dear me, were you ill?

Schopenhauer: You know perfectly well I was suffering. I threw up all that seafood.

Gaius: Better now?

Schopenhauer: Yes. I feel rather peckish.

Gaius: Can you wait till we get to St Helens?

Schopenhauer: I suppose so.

Gaius: Good man. You know, you have the sort of mentality one needs for the Tour.

Schopenhauer: The Tour de France? I thought they snacked all the time.

Gaius: Not all the time. Sometimes sacrifice is in order. Do you know what I'm thinking?

Schopenhauer: No. Is it in Latin?

Gaius: Was that asked in a jocular spirit?

Schopenhauer: You decide. What are you thinking?

Gaius: I think it was marginally funny.

Schopenhauer: You idiot. I mean what were you thinking before?

Gaius: Never mind. I've given up on it. It would be impossible.

Schopenhauer: Don't worry, I've guessed. And the answer is no, in any case.

Gaius: Really! We'll see about that.

In this way the two friends pass the time as they cycle along the beautiful scenic route from Bicheno to St Helens.

Let's hope they get there by lunch time.