Hedonism: The Pleasure Paradox

Sweezus thinks quickly.

How are things going? Not very well.

But Gaius hasn't yet paid him.

Good, says Sweezus. We found one of that new species of funnel web. A female.

Wonderful! says Gaius. I knew you would! And you captured her?

Not exactly, says Sweezus, but there's good news and bad news.

Tell me the bad news, says Gaius.

She was startled, and fell out of her hollow log, says Sweezus, and .....

Ran away? says Gaius,

Was eaten, says Sweezus.

In front of your eyes? says Gaius.

Kind of, says Sweezus

Why didn't you ....... what was it that ate her?

That's the good news, says Sweezus.

He tells Gaius about the two Eastern Bristlebirds.

Is Doctor Wallenius with you? asks Gaius. Let me speak with him.

No, says Sweezus. I'm all alone in this clearing with two Bristlebirds stuck to my shoulders.

Gaius lets this pass. Sweezus is probably joking.

Sweezus hopes Gaius thinks he is probably joking. He hadn't meant to give the true situation away.

How's Antwerp? asks Sweezus. Did you meet up with Arthur?

I did, says Gaius. Thanks to your advice, I called Pablo.

Bugger! exclaims Sweezus.

Mrs Bristlebird looks apologetic. Sorry. Upset tummy. Must be the spider.

Pardon? says Gaius.

Nothing, says Sweezus. Go ahead. So what's Arthur up to?

He and Pablo have ensconced themselves in de Kleine Hedonist, says Gaius. It's very pleasant. They are practising something once recommended by Nietzsche, called slow drinking.

Nietzsche? says Sweezus. No way! Nietzsche recommended slow reading!

You don't say, says Gaius. Well I must ask them to explain the discrepancy. I gather you know your Nietzsche and aren't just making mischief.

Yeah well... says Sweezus. That might be what they do in cafe Hedonist.

De Kleine Hedonist, says Gaius. And yes, they do a great deal of talking. The other night it was all about the pain associated with pleasure. Arthur came up with a poem. Of course I can't remember it.

If I was there, mutters Sweezus, I'd remember it.

What's that? says Gaius. This call is costing me a fortune. I just wanted to see how things were going. Don't lose those birds. When I get back I shall try teaching them another language. It's the latest development in bird science. Very .......

The call cuts itself off.

Did you hear that, dear? says Mr Bristlebird. His friend wants to teach us another language.

He must think we're parrots, says Mrs Bristlebird.

Sweezus grimaces as her claws dig into his shoulder, and a bad smell rises.

Where is everyone? Why have they left him alone in the clearing?

Katherine emerges from behind a tree adjusting her clothing.

That's better, says Katherine. Oh you've come to! The others have gone for a stretcher! What's that mess on your shoulder?