Knows What Whales Are Thinking

Calm down, Sweezie, says Unni. Keep still.

Sweezus is feeling all shivery. His throat buzzes. The bird's claws are like nails.

Remarkable, says Doctor Wallenius. These birds are normally shy. They skulk in dense vegetation. Yet here we see one perching boldly on a human shoulder.

Sweezus takes several deep breaths. Mrs Bristlebird bobs up and down, showing her pale dappled underparts.

Her long brown tail feathers brush past his ear. His teeth chatter.

That's right, smile, says Unni, taking her phone out and snapping a picture.

I'm not smiling, says Sweezus. Can someone please help me?

I'll help you, says Ray.

Good on you, dad, says Unni.

He makes a grab at Mrs Bristlebird, who pecks Ray hard on the pinkie.

If we could capture her, says Doctor Wallenius, we could tag her, and follow her movements. Why would we do that, boys?

For science, says Keanu (number one smart arse)

And then we'd know when she dies, says Beau (number two)

Mrs Bristlebird has no intention of allowing science to know when she dies. She has only one intention. To follow Sweezus, wherever he's going, and get her babies back.

Sit down, Sweezie, says Unni. She might hop off you.

Sweezus sits down. Mrs Bristlebird sits down too, and doesn't hop off him.

Urghh, says Sweezus. Some vom has come up from his stomach. His face has turned green.

I'm surprised you have this aversion to birds, says Doctor Wallenius. Considering.

It's only birds, says Unni. He's fine with EVERY other creature. Aren't you, Sweezie.

Sweezus nods weakly.

He can even communicate with some of them, says Unni. Like whales. He knows what they're thinking.

Sweezus tries to remember what happened to make Unni think that.

Oh yeah, that time at Victor Harbour. When Farky drifted out to sea on a surfboard. Shit no, wasn't that ....sharks?

And dogs, says Unni.

Water! says Sweezus.

Can you? asks Unni. Now that IS amazing!

I want some, says Sweezus.

Oh, says Unni. Has anyone got any water?

Doctor Wallenius naturally has brought some.

Sweezus drinks the water (tap water).

But he feels slightly better.

He turns his head to get a proper look at his Nemesis.

She stares back at him through her rictal hairy sunnies.

Sweezus blacks out.

When he comes to, he is alone in the clearing, with a bird on each shoulder, and his phone ringing.

Biddly-biddly-bee!

Whaaa.... answers Sweezus.

It's me, says Gaius. I'm still in Antwerp. How are things going?