Suck It Up Dear

Mrs Bristlebird is not about to let Katherine get away with killing her babies.

She flies down and pecks Katherine's head.

Oh! Oh! cries Katherine, flailing wildly.

Mrs Bristlebird returns to her mate (Mr Bristlebird).

My dear, says Mr Bristlebird. What purpose did that serve?

Retribution, says Mrs Bristlebird.

After my perusal of the Book of Job, says Mr Bristlebird, I believe the best course of action is to suck up the punishment.

Oh, come ON! says Mrs Bristlebird.

No really, says Mr Bristlebird. Turns out bad things are just a test. Evil purposes should not be thwarted.

I'm quite sure you read that wrong, says Mrs Bristlebird. It was upside down remember. What happens to this Job person anyway?

He gets EVERYTHING back, says Mr Bristlebird. As soon as he stops COMPLAINING.

Mrs Bristlebird remains unconvinced. She is glad she pecked Katherine.

Katherine is feeling the top of her head. It is sticky, in two places.

She only has one dirty tissue. Better not use it.

Two lines of blood drip down her forehead and both sides of her nose.

She decides she had better call Sweezus .

Biddly-biddly-BEE! Biddly-biddly-BEE! ( his new ringtone).

Katherine, says Sweezus. We're just creeping up on the spider. What's up?

I've done something stupid, says Katherine. I don't like to tell you.

Try me, says Sweezus.

I've stepped on two Bristlebird eggs accidentally, says Katherine. And you know how they're critically endangered.

Sheise! says Sweezus. Are they broken?

Of course they're broken, says Katherine. And the mother Bristlebird has attacked me, and I'm bleeding. So I wondered.....

Sit right there, says Sweezus. I'm coming. Wait a sec. Where are you?

I don't know, says Katherine. I can't see properly.....

Don't worry, says Sweezus. I'll find you.

Do be quiet, says Doctor Wallenius. Funnel webs are highly sensitive.

Sorry, says Sweezus, but Team Bristlebird's in trouble. Ray, where was that tree?

Ray calls up a map of the National Park on his smartphone.

Send me the coordinates, says Sweezus, crashing off through a stand of tea trees.

Thought his phone was out of battery, says Doctor Wallenius.

So did I, says Ray. It's a miracle.

There's no such thing! says Keanu.

Only natural phenomena, says Beau.

Well, that's what it is, then, says Unni. Now guys, keep quiet or Tom'll never catch this spider.

Tom advances towards the rotten log with protective gloves on.

A deathly silence falls, as the female funnel web spider recognises the biologist who made off with her sister.