The Noblest Path To Wisdom

An hour later, Arthur tries calling again.

Gaius answers.

Arthur! What time do you think it is? grumbles Gaius

I'm in the Zen Gardens, says Arthur.

I suppose you think that's funny, says Gaius. Here, talk to Kong, I'm in the middle of something.

Hello Arthur, says Kong. How goes the journey?

What was Gaius in the middle of? asks Arthur.

In the middle of? Oh, nothing. Where are you?

In the Zen Gardens, Dubai.

No doubt the gardens will aid you on your path to wisdom, says Kong. Is there a fishpond?

Yes, says Arthur. A fishpond. Is Gaius back yet?

Not yet, says Kong. I find a fish pond conducive to reflection, and reflection, of course, is the first and noblest path to wisdom....

What's the second? asks Arthur.

Imitation, says Kong.

Before or after? says Arthur.

Arthur makes a sound that sounds suspiciously like bubbles.

What do you mean? asks Kong.

Reflection, says Arthur. Staring into the fishpond. Imitating a fish.

Have you been drinking? asks Kong.

No, says Arthur. Just bored.

The intelligent never get bored, says Kong. Ah, here's Gaius.

That's better, says Gaius. Sorry, Arthur. Now where were we?

Just a question, says Arthur.

A spidery voice, speaking crossly, is heard.

Correction, an apology, says Arthur.

No need to be sorry, says Gaius. I'm doing quite well without you. Kong here is very reliable. He has already established the location of the University de la Laguna on Tenerife, and made....

Is Baby Pierre there? asks Arthur. The apology's for him. It's from Daniel O'Connell.

Is it? And how is our hero? asks Gaius, not answering the question.

Not a good traveller, says Arthur. He's escaped death twice. And disappeared under a seat. And been sick. And now he's apologising.

Hardly seems necessary, says Gaius.

To Baby Pierre, for forgetting him, says Arthur. Could you just pass that on.

Ahem. I would, says Gaius. But Baby Pierre has gone missing. He was unimpressed at being left behind. He got on his high horse and marched out of the front door saying he'd make his own way.

So he's coming, says Arthur. I'll tell Daniel O'Connell.

He tells Daniel O'Connell.

Tara diddly dee!

That was Daniel O'Connell responding.

Is everything all right, otherwise? asks Gaius. May I go back to sleep now?

Yes, says Arthur. See you in Barcelona on Friday.

Friday! says Gaius. Jumping Jupiter! Kong! What day is it?

Thursday, says Kong. It's lucky Arthur got us up early.

Just like the dear boy, says Gaius.