Famous Cats And One Less Famous Dog

Belle orders another bottle of Sancerre.

Gaius and Edith look at the menu.

Sartre ponders what Edith said Freud said of cats.

Edith orders a starter of pan fried lettuce and crab topped with scallops.

Gaius orders a rabbit terrine with balsamic reduction.

The wine is poured. There's not really enough in one bottle. Belle orders more.

To make room, Sweezus and Arthur quickly empty their glasses.

Edith beams at Sartre.

I saw your eyes light up at the mention of cats, says Edith. Do you have one?

I do, says Sartre.

Name? asks Edith.

Rien, says Sartre.

How CUTE! says Belle.

Do you have one? asks Sartre.

No, says Edith. I'm more of a dog person.

Me too, says Sweezus. I had a dog once called Farky.

Dear Farky, says Belle. It was awful what happened.

The crab on pan fried lettuce arrives.

Talking of famous people with cats, says Edith, poking at the caviar on top of the scallops, does anyone know what Katy Perry's cat's name is?

Kitty Purry, says Sweezus.

Brilliant! says Belle. Sweezie, how do you even KNOW that?

Twitter, says Sweezus.

Sartre does not like the turn the conversation is taking.

Why has no one asked why his cat is named Rien? This would then lead to a conversation about being and nothingness, his favourite subject. It's all Edith's fault, for bringing up Kitty Purry.

Gaius now has his rabbit terrine. He is about to begin it, when he remembers an interesting cat fact.

I am reminded of Koko the Gorilla, says Gaius. She lived at the San Francisco Zoo, and learned over one thousand signs. She was given a kitten as a pet, and she named it All Ball.

All Ball, says Edith. That's not what you'd expect.

Depends how she picked it, says Arthur.

Indeed, says Sartre. She was probably forced. And if so, it serves as a metaphor for our own existential dilemma. How to avoid the anguish resulting from choices that necessarily limit human freedom.....

What happened to All Ball? asks Edith.

Escaped from the zoo and was run over by a car, says Gaius.

Fuck, says Sweezus. That was hard.

It must have upset Koko. says Belle. Did she say anything. I mean, did she sign?

Sad and Bad, says Gaius. Or words to that effect. She was given another kitten. She called it Lipstick.

That's ridiculous, says Sartre, draining his glass and pouring himself another. Why would a gorilla  choose Lipstick?

Her keepers believe it might have something to do with the fact that that the kitten's lips were pinkish, says Gaius, wiping his own lips clean of traces of rabbit.

Cool, says Sweezus.

But unverifiable, as to what Koko was thinking, says Sartre.

True, says Belle. Anyone else got a cat story?

Who was Félicette? asks Arthur.

Dunno, says Sweezus.

First cat in space, says Arthur. She was only up there fifteen minutes.

(He thinks he's read that fact somewhere).