Could Be A Picasso

Place du Tertre, a cobbled square, frequented by artists and tourists.

Some of the tourists are having their portraits painted, for fifty euro.

It takes half an hour.

And you'll have the memory for ever.

Sweezus is tempted. Fifty euro.

Don't do it, says Arthur.

But Sweezus is already bargaining with the artist, Morgane.

She invites him to sit on a folding chair. She will just start an outline. See what happens.

Sweezus sits down, with the china poodle beside him.

Can the poodle be in it? asks Terence.

That's extra, says Morgane.

Come on, says Arthur, let's find a café.

You go, says Sweezus. I'll catch up.

I'm staying to watch, says Terence.

Arthur heads off to find a café, with Saint Roley, and the cardboard.

They find one, and sit down outside.

Saint Roley is perched on the table. His cardboard with the face on is propped up against Arthur's chair.

How much? asks a tourist.

Huh? says Arthur. What for?

The picture, says the tourist. It's good. I'll give you forty.

It's not for sale, says Arthur. It's this bird's brother.

WHOSE brother? asks the tourist.

Mine, says Saint Roley. It REMINDS me of my brother.

I was going to say...., says the tourist. It looks more like your brother than his brother.

It's not my brother, says Arthur. We'll take fifty.

NO WE WON'T, says Saint Roley.

Sixty then, says the tourist. (He really wants it. It might be an early Picasso, from his Brown Period).

Done, says Arthur. But can you wait a few minutes?

Sure, says the tourist. What for?

While I talk to the owner, says Arthur. Order a beer.

Okay, will you have one? asks the tourist.

Yes, thanks, says Arthur.

He turns to Saint Roley.

I'M the owner, says Saint Roley.

I know, says Arthur. Can you do maths?

Yes, says Saint Roley.

Right, says Arthur. Your cardboard won't fit in our luggage.

Is that maths? asks Saint Roley.

Yes, says Arthur.

So it needs to be smaller, says Saint Roley. So if I get an artist to paint a miniature, I can take it. How much would that be?

This is more complex maths than Arthur had in mind, but he concedes that it's possible.

Wait here, says Arthur.

He goes across to the nearest artist, with the cardboard.

How much to paint this, as a miniature?

Pfft! says the artist. That depends. How miniature?

Very miniature, says arthur.

Five euro, says the artist, dashing it off straight away. He is not busy..

It's not bad for a miniature. The hair is still brown and neat. The face is still solemn.

Back in a minute, says Arthur. I'll get the money.

He goes back to the tourist.

Sixty euro changes hands, and the tourist now owns the painting.

Arthur and the tourist drink their beer.

Arthur gives Saint Roley five euro, to pay for the miniature.

A rare case of ethical behaviour, from Arthur.

Saint Roley loves the miniature. It's small. Like his brother.