First Time As A Beetroot

Irma walks back to the Hotel Ibis, in the dark.

In one hand, she holds the specimen jar, containing the disabled beetle.

Where are we going? asks the Scarabée.

Hotel, says Irma, shortly.

I only ask, says the Scarabée, because it concerns me.

Ibis, says Irma. Hotel Ibis. That's where we're staying.

We? says the Scarabée.

Me, mum, dad and Emma, says Irma.

Do they know much about beetles? asks the beetle.

No, says Irma.

Beetroots? asks the beetle.

Yep, says Irma. Beetroots, they probably do.

....

She enters the room in which her family is staying.

About time, Irma, says dad. How was the Hip Hop Répétition?

Lame, says Irma, except for one person.

Who? asks her sister.

Arthur, says Irma.

Wow! Was HE there? says Emma. Wish I went.

I went back to his room, says Irma.

IRMA! says mum.

Gaius was there too, and Belle and Sweezus, says Irma. And Jean Paul Sartre.

Ooh! says mum. Sartre. Now I wish I went too.

Very funny, dear, says Reg. What's that in the specimen jar?

Arthur's beetle, says Irma. It's injured.

Let me see, says mum. O my goodness!

It asked me if we know much about beetroots, says Irma.

Probably a slip of the tongue, says dad.

A Freudian slip, says mum. Hello, beetroot. Can you hear me?

YES! cries the Scarabée. I hear you! Now what can I do?

Do? asks mum. I fear there is not much you can do as a two legged beetle.

My goal is to live the rest of my life as a beetroot, says the Scarabée.

So it wasn't a Freudian slip. Mum is charmed.

Then you shall, she says kindly. You know, I suppose, that the beetroot is the taproot portion of the beet plant, and is especially rich in nutrients such as iron and folate. Also manganese, phosphorus, potassium and Vitamin B6, so, extremely healthy.

I do want to be healthy, says the Scarabée.

You shall sit here, on top of our salad, says mum, picking up the Scarabée gently, by his elytra.

She lowers him onto a slice of avocado, which is perched on a lettuce leaf, amongst other leaves, in the salad bowl, which sits on the table waiting for the arrival of Irma before being eaten.

Yuck, mum, says Emma. 

Use the salad servers, says mum. Make sure you avoid him.

The Scarabée sits on the avocado. He is nervous.

His first time as a beetroot.

Several drops of orange-red liquid squirt out of an orifice.

It's a Crache-Sang! says Reg.

And it's ruined the salad, says mum.