Your Gut And Your Enemy

Unni is surprised.

What decision?

First show us how the app works, says Arthur.

Okay, says Unni. Give me a hypothetical dilemma.

Okay, says Sweezus. Which is better, a dog or a magpie?

That's ridiculous, says Unni.

Noolymooly, says Farky. (Meaning: Not in my opinion).

Okay, say Unni. Press here for a perspective to help you to make the decision.

Sweezus presses. The app throws up YOUR GUT.

What's your gut feeling? asks Unni.

Dog, says Sweezus.

Farky drools on his foot.

Right says Unni, now press again.

Sweezus presses. The app throws up the words YOUR ENEMY.

What would your enemy say? asks Unni.

Dog, says Sweezus.

Idiot, says Belle. Your enemy would say bird. You've never liked birds.

Try again, says Unni.

Sweezus presses.

The app throws up YOUR PARENTS.

This isn't working for me, says Sweezus.

I get that, says Unni.

What are the other three perspectives? asks Belle.

DEATH, CAUTION and COURAGE, says Unni. Cool app, don't you reckon? I got the idea from online School of Life. It helps you work towards making the right decision.

Is it popular? asks Belle.

Sure is, says Unni.

Okay, says Arthur. Now you.

Real or hypothetical? asks Unni.

It shouldn't matter, says Arthur. Would you give up your dull boring life with a dog and a magpie eating fermented cabbage in Redfern for the chance to hook up with us again?

In a heartbeat, says Unni.

Who needs an app to decide that?

It's an encouraging answer, and Arthur doesn't wreck it by telling her that the only one she is required to hook up with at present is Gaius.

Where's Terence? asks Belle.

He went outside with the magpie, says Arthur.

Crikey, says Belle.

Everyone rushes outside.

There is a street and a footpath, one or two people, three parked cars, various bicycles, a letter box, a straggly street tree, but no evidence of a magpie.

And no Terence.